@Houstons_Finest Ok so like- I couldn't say this on our normal page because I don't want your bf seeing all my business- But on sunday- I made the mistake of telling my mother I was gay- [for the millionth time-] after all this time- I realize she had been disreguarding me as she said I like to take on problems out of a desire to feel like I'm a part of something and have been doing that since i was little.
I understand that- I did it because I thought it was funny I believe. [Mind you, she's discussing instances that happened when I was anywhere from 5-8 years old. That stopped after a while. But the whole "gay thing" was TOTALLY DIFFERENT. [I'm quite sure I felt this way earlier but-] At 8- I realized that I was attracted to girls AND boys. I felt weirded out by it so I talked to Mom about it.
She said whenever I felt like I was attracted to a boy, I needed to tell myself: "that's disgusting! God hates that! I don't want God to hate me!" {And she wasn't wrong. Just because He loves people doesn't mean He loves the bad things they do.} So I went a long with that for a LONG WHILE. But those feelings never went away. I denied ever feeling any such way for years until it started to get harder-
Like most teens, I sometimes want to fit in. I wasn't born into a denomination that accepts that [let alone being gay, despite it being against h-m-phobia] so- of course- as close as me and Mom are, that's our biggest divide, since I should be "no part of the world". She found out in many different unfortunate ways that I was gay, but disregarded them for some reason.
She said: "The only way you could be gay is if you have done it with another man. Have you ever? Then stop saying that." I understood her reasoning, but what hetero is often thinking about how attractive members of the same gender are. [I never had the heart to tell her about my gender issues- I don't know what she'd say.]
To make a long qss fncking story short- I told her again that some people in our congregation mysteriously knew I was gay so they kept trying to put me around a gay new comer [I was not attracted to him, as a matter of fact I hated him.] I knew they were trying to expose me since I never told anyone that I was.
She asked me why I kept saying that I was gay. I just shrugged. She just sighed and said I was to old to be taking on personalities because it's "cool" and "unique". I got tired of trying to tell her I wasn't and just sarcastically said that I was doing that exactly. She simply said she was disgusted.
She asked me why I kept doing this and I just said because I felt like it was cool and fun. I felt like I belonged to something and that being a servant of God wasn't enough. She just said that she felt like she wasted her time if that's how I really felt. I just said I did it all to fill an imaginary void, everything I said I felt was a lie just to give myself something to feel since I don't get out with people much
She said if I keep this up, we'd have to seperate unless I wanted to keep serving God. I finally was honest and said I did. She just said: "Let that whole gay persona drop away." So for past few days, I haven't even been joking with her the same and saying exremely hateful hm-phobic things- and now she thinks I'm taking things too far.
for a small while i fooled myself into thinking that everythin she said may have been right. Now I'm second guessing myself all over again. But there's one thing I'm sure of: If the "being gay" thing was ever JUST an experiment [gender and sxuality], it stuck- and it never went away. So even if I don't call myself gay, that's just very deeply ingrained.
I don't feel like I can rightfully be hurt about this for some reason, so I can't bring myself to be hurt. But I does bother me because now, I don't know how to come back from it... I can't go back to feigning hmphobia, even God says hmphobia is a sin. But I genuinely can't act/feel like being gay or anything gay is okay anymore. I'm losing proper sleep over this shxt too. Ok I'm done ranting- sorry for this whole xss story- Go on ahead and get the prozac for me lmaoo
@Daija_Indigo Well i've been thinking about this all day and what I think is that no one can judge your relationship with God except for him also that verse is a mistranslation the Roman Catholic church added and took away from the word and also no one can tell you what you are so they're all wrong and i'm honestly sorry she's acting like this she's cheating herself out of an awesome relationship with her son and that's also sad
Comments
27 Dec, 2012, 9:12 pm
this is awesome!!! :)
check my gallery
27 Dec, 2012, 9:23 pm
cmon dude traced?
27 Dec, 2012, 9:28 pm
I love naruto too! :D Welcome to colors3D!
27 Dec, 2012, 9:30 pm
4 Rodeli: I hate people like you...Shut up! You dont understand...Control your brain! :D
27 Dec, 2012, 9:40 pm
cool =) welcome to colors 3D =D please check out my gallery ;)
27 Dec, 2012, 10:03 pm
Traced or not,its look great plus im a big fan of it;so welcome 0,0
09 Mar, 2013, 4:07 am
wtf are you kidding me i dont like it i love it
09 Mar, 2013, 3:13 pm
and i agree with mag7gio
13 Mar, 2013, 9:39 pm
naruto is tied for the best tv show in the world but the only character ive free drawn is sakura i dont like drawing dudes.
08 Apr, 2013, 2:37 am
yessssssss i love Naruto!
08 Jun, 2013, 5:52 am
wow thats a show that rarely comes on
16 Nov, 2014, 8:11 pm
destroiya there are so many places you can get naruto. its not meant to be a dedicaded cable show
26 Apr, 2024, 8:16 am
@Houstons_Finest Ok so like- I couldn't say this on our normal page because I don't want your bf seeing all my business- But on sunday- I made the mistake of telling my mother I was gay- [for the millionth time-] after all this time- I realize she had been disreguarding me as she said I like to take on problems out of a desire to feel like I'm a part of something and have been doing that since i was little.
26 Apr, 2024, 8:20 am
I understand that- I did it because I thought it was funny I believe. [Mind you, she's discussing instances that happened when I was anywhere from 5-8 years old. That stopped after a while. But the whole "gay thing" was TOTALLY DIFFERENT. [I'm quite sure I felt this way earlier but-] At 8- I realized that I was attracted to girls AND boys. I felt weirded out by it so I talked to Mom about it.
26 Apr, 2024, 8:26 am
She said whenever I felt like I was attracted to a boy, I needed to tell myself: "that's disgusting! God hates that! I don't want God to hate me!" {And she wasn't wrong. Just because He loves people doesn't mean He loves the bad things they do.} So I went a long with that for a LONG WHILE. But those feelings never went away. I denied ever feeling any such way for years until it started to get harder-
26 Apr, 2024, 8:30 am
Like most teens, I sometimes want to fit in. I wasn't born into a denomination that accepts that [let alone being gay, despite it being against h-m-phobia] so- of course- as close as me and Mom are, that's our biggest divide, since I should be "no part of the world". She found out in many different unfortunate ways that I was gay, but disregarded them for some reason.
26 Apr, 2024, 8:36 am
She said: "The only way you could be gay is if you have done it with another man. Have you ever? Then stop saying that." I understood her reasoning, but what hetero is often thinking about how attractive members of the same gender are. [I never had the heart to tell her about my gender issues- I don't know what she'd say.]
26 Apr, 2024, 8:39 am
To make a long qss fncking story short- I told her again that some people in our congregation mysteriously knew I was gay so they kept trying to put me around a gay new comer [I was not attracted to him, as a matter of fact I hated him.] I knew they were trying to expose me since I never told anyone that I was.
26 Apr, 2024, 8:43 am
She asked me why I kept saying that I was gay. I just shrugged. She just sighed and said I was to old to be taking on personalities because it's "cool" and "unique". I got tired of trying to tell her I wasn't and just sarcastically said that I was doing that exactly. She simply said she was disgusted.
26 Apr, 2024, 8:46 am
She asked me why I kept doing this and I just said because I felt like it was cool and fun. I felt like I belonged to something and that being a servant of God wasn't enough. She just said that she felt like she wasted her time if that's how I really felt. I just said I did it all to fill an imaginary void, everything I said I felt was a lie just to give myself something to feel since I don't get out with people much
26 Apr, 2024, 8:49 am
She said if I keep this up, we'd have to seperate unless I wanted to keep serving God. I finally was honest and said I did. She just said: "Let that whole gay persona drop away." So for past few days, I haven't even been joking with her the same and saying exremely hateful hm-phobic things- and now she thinks I'm taking things too far.
26 Apr, 2024, 8:53 am
for a small while i fooled myself into thinking that everythin she said may have been right. Now I'm second guessing myself all over again. But there's one thing I'm sure of: If the "being gay" thing was ever JUST an experiment [gender and sxuality], it stuck- and it never went away. So even if I don't call myself gay, that's just very deeply ingrained.
26 Apr, 2024, 8:58 am
I don't feel like I can rightfully be hurt about this for some reason, so I can't bring myself to be hurt. But I does bother me because now, I don't know how to come back from it... I can't go back to feigning hmphobia, even God says hmphobia is a sin. But I genuinely can't act/feel like being gay or anything gay is okay anymore. I'm losing proper sleep over this shxt too. Ok I'm done ranting- sorry for this whole xss story- Go on ahead and get the prozac for me lmaoo
27 Apr, 2024, 5:31 am
@Daija_Indigo Well i've been thinking about this all day and what I think is that no one can judge your relationship with God except for him also that verse is a mistranslation the Roman Catholic church added and took away from the word and also no one can tell you what you are so they're all wrong and i'm honestly sorry she's acting like this she's cheating herself out of an awesome relationship with her son and that's also sad
27 Apr, 2024, 5:32 am
@Daija_Indigo Furthermore those monkey see monkey do aśs bïtches at the church can kick rocks with open toed shoes :skull: