this is one of the reasons why i call you guys my "art pals" instead of friends is because of this. The main reason is im not allowed to make online friends due to parental concern lol, but still.

Ever since then, I've come to grow a severe amount of self-hatred, because i'm still the things i was told in the past, and i want to be better

fast forward to my present life, im now dealing with a demonic neighbor, a possible low-form of depression, and şųıçıďāł thoughts have been reoccuring.
but i know its not the way to go, obviously, its just those thoughts are very much present

now i just feel numb to everything. nothing i do really brings me joy, and nothing feels fun than it used to.

It's cold, so cold. and no one sees nor is willing to see. no one knows or is willing to know. no one cares... nor is willing to care. so i just... bottle it all up and throw it aside. but it keeps rolling back to me.
every.
Single.
FREAKING.
T I M E .

I only hung around with them because i was desperate for some interaction, because i didn't want to bother my other friends because i felt like they were busy.

And i pushed them away. I got angry with them because they were pointing out everything wrong with this guy and what they were doing to me. and i didnt listen. desperation took over, and i fell down. Now im stuck.
i cant get up.
i cant get out.
i cant escape.
i cant change.

but who cares? this was all in the past. It's not like i matter to anyone, maybe everyone is right here, no one knows me, no one cares, maybe venting this is pointless as frig.

ofc i know some of you care dont get me wrong but still

This is... kind of why i have the Anomaly as my persona.

The left half represents how broken of a person i've become, but still fighting, still caring.
the right half represents my tainted past, innocence, and my pure hatred towards things around me.
It's almost like ENA, where there's two sides of one person. this is another big inspiration for a lot of my projects too, namely Double-Sided Coin and AKA ONI.

I've become so numb to things that i enjoy it. I shouldn't, but i do.

Anyways, enough ranting, you can comment now.

also who the flip liked i literally said not to T-T

hey.!

@-_Kit-Cat_-
h0I!
im temmie

we all go through pain and suffering for a reason!.. im not saying it was good u experienced that, but im sorry you did!

I personally went through something similar( but i won't get into it..) THIS I ABOUT U RN!!!

@CalicoC10V3R

@-_Kit-Cat_- i mean Christ did say being His follower was never going to be easy TwT

hey i would never do that ik im lgbtq and all that but your beliefs are ur beliefs as long as you dont try to "fix me" like my family did ur alr
look we all do tho hard times to ive also had a hard life(dw bt it) but um yk you can always talk to me? if u want i understand its hard sinc3 we js became friends but still im here and so is kit kat-