like if I really had to describe it in my head it almost looks like a blue cloud of mist (I'm not quite sure why but that's what it looks like in my head)
it's also very mellow almost like slime and sometimes it'll stay the same for days or even weeks on end
witch is one of the reasons why I find my own gender and experience with it so fascinating
it's a bit weird though because I don't want to be a guy nor do I want to be a girl but I want to be masculine in a very feminine way

but also in the reverse way too?
like I want to be a prettyboy but I also want to be a masculine girl
like one way I've heard it described that fits perfectly is
I want to be so gender people don't know if I'm a femboy or a tomboy
I want to confuse people
I want them to call me sir or mamm and correct themselves and then have to correct themselves again
but unfortunately I have a very feminine looking body :(
so people just call me mamm and I HATE IT like please just once call me sir :((

honestly I don't really know what to do about it but maybe someday I'll become the androgynous creature of my dreams
also like beautiful men give me a lot of gender envy and I don't know what it means nor what to do about it
also while I prefer being masculine I also like wearing skirts they make me feel pretty :)

I don't really know what else to say so you guys can comment now I guess :P

I don't know talk about your gender and your experiences with it
I wanna know :3

this floooooped :(((

gender is a funny thing huh?
i mostly just don't care about mine, don't see why i should try to label
im me and thats that!
though some people do find comfort in finding a suitable label

@Stellar_pen_skills I'm a bit mixed on this just because like part of me is like labels don't matter they're too restrictive anyway \^('-')^/
but also part of me is like but then what would I call myself???
like I'm not exactly a girl but I'm also not a guy either
like I'd just prefer people to see me not as a specific gender but just me
some days I like my feminine body but others I wish I didn't look like I do

@Stellar_pen_skills I usually try not to get so hung up on labels but I also like to be able to say things with certainty

I think thats just part of human nature
for some reason we just LOVE to label things-
we literally created an entire field of science dedicated to finding ways to label everything

so its only natural to you to want something to label yourself
wether that be for easier social interaction or simply bc you want

@Stellar_pen_skills yeah that makes sense
like there are so many ways people can label themselves wether it be good or bad
like I've even seen some people say they're a bis3xual lesbian and if it's easyer to say that then I'm bis3xual with a strong preference for women then I'm not going to ruin their fun
but they do sometimes get a bit too specific like do I really need a whole extra label just to communicate something?

@Stellar_pen_skills like for example I'm aroace like I could try to get into all the specific microlables I might be but it's just much easyer to say I'm aroace
and honestly I feel like it would just complicate things too much anyway
and plus if somebody really wanted to know anyway they'd probably be somebody I'm already close to
so I feel no real need to say more then necessary