my mom took my devices bc i was cvtting again (most likely wont get them back till next year bc i "broke her trust", yesyes having depression is breakingg trust isn't it?)
i understand you.
how are they saying "come to me when-" and when i dont they get mad.
i know what thier going to do if i tell them.
if i need to vent im here.

@-osora-
so far ive been okay
when i turn 18 ima start doing things to move out
that day they kinda pulled it out of me, dat i wanted to move out when im 18
they just said "oh, so u have John syndrome? yk even if u get a job now u wont have enough money to move out right?"
john is my older brother, in short, he brings alot of drama, n due to dat, has traumatize my parents

i dont have a job cuz they dont help me get one
my friend tries to get me one
n friends r technically illegal things to have

@-osora-
im homeschooled
isolated
lonely
ive become desperate for male interactions
n desperate for any kind of affection or conversations
i cope w my online friends
the Internet is my ONLY escape from my house

i hate it when they ask "what friends?" or say to another relative "yeah, they dont have any friends"

n how DARE they say that my bestest friend @/-Vero- is a STRANGER when we've been friends for almost 3 YEARS

@-osora-
i hope sometime next yr (pls God, help me move out soon)
me n Vero would be moving out n living together
meybe i can do rare things like, take a walk, go to a park, go out just for the sake of leaving the house
meybe i can be healthy again
meybe i can run, have some weight, strength, the ability to do the dishes w out feelihg exhausted
meybe i can eat food dat actually helps me feel good

ik if i say "i just want to be free" they would still say i have 'John syndrome'

but dats truly what i want

i wanna leave
i wanna get a job, i wanna talk to ppl, i want a different environment, another chapter to start, i wanna see the world Godhas created n enjoy wha i can of it
i want help. i want to make my own descisions, i wanna explore new things, try new things

i consider taking a WALK rare
dat shoul tell u how isolated i am

wow, man thats... we are actually kinda alike?
im
-homeschooled
-dont leave the house untill its church, ahg, or shoping for food.
-im not to good with talking to people
-also want a relationship (if u said that i forgot)
-too young for a job so dont have one
-i dont mean to but i isoatle myself from people

i really hope amd pray that you can find your wings and break out of the cage your parents locked you in.

i could stivk around if yu want?
you can vemt whenever, i truly dont mind
im not mean (to the point i dont second guess it)
listener
people say im very kind and loving
(someone on this app literary feel in l0v3 with me bc of it)
im here. If you dont want me to be? i'll leave (nah man im still here even if you kicked me into a cave)
you can call me Axel if you do want to talk okay?

@-osora-
ur more dan welcome to stay

my feelings go up n down
i could be happily chatting one second, the next, venting like crazy

ive done what i could, im currently waiting for Vero to do their part (cuz they have money, they want their families advice for the buying or renting house thing)

im on a grind to finish school work
so, i need sleep (be 11:44 for me)

alrighty! sorry i answered late- im gonna like this post so i can come back to it if you need to talk.
also i get it with the emotion switcj
one second im the happiset person, next a swerelide risk

@-osora-
its all alright
im used to late responses

:c

@-osora-
y the cry?
its true
were not alway on at the same time
*just finished a late night study session

dang bru-

@-osora-
latte reply :>

how u doin?

meh- losing weight pretty fast and itx kinda scaring me. my mom raiesed her voice at me today because i said sorry, got attcked by fire ants, my dad is probably gonna start making me pay to live in his house now (im under 16) but now im watching a read throgh of a webtoon seiedx i like knowing im getting no sleep tomorrow for church :P
how abt yu?

@-osora-
i feel like it should be illegal to charge ur child to live in ur house
technically screaming dat ur not doing ur job as a parent

im anxios
were taking a few baby steps into getting a house
pray we can get it soon
we need to tour it, we can buy it rn but we want to make sure were prepared

i did my part, waiting for Vero
i pray we can do dis
we need a place of our own
Lord pls let it become real

omg i'll br praying for yu bro

@-osora-
ty

i hope we can make one step everyday to get closer to buy it
we rly need dis house

yk im proud of you.

you're working rlly hard for this and not giving up, keeping the goal of freedom in your mind and not letting your family stop you. your doimg really good and im proud of you :D

@-osora-
thxs
ive had few ppl be proud of me
i appreciate dat

ive been wanting to leave since forever
ive tried running away, but theres always an obstacle in the way dat didnt allow me to disappear successfully

been planning the whole yr to move out, the time has come to take action

unfortunately, ive have stopped at a obstacle. . .
Me n Vero havent met in person yet
n the reason y is cuz of my parents

its a necessary step to build trust
even tho weve known each other for almost 3 yrs

@-osora-
were still both weary about each other
n been wanting to meet forever

quoting my mom "im not taking u to meet a stranger"
....dat still hurts me
i was dumb enough to believe that it may happen
i dont even wanna ask again

i would have to meet Vero by myself
which isnt safe for a small, malnourished girl like me :/
sure i can be the fiesty latina dat i am, but my energy runs out too fast these days

idk if i can take a walk w out passing out ;-;

awe...

i hope you cqn get the house soon and feel save in ur own home.

@-osora-
;-;
i feel... awful
got into argument w mom
i simply asked her to respect my privacy, n she flat out said no
"if u feel the need to hide it, then u MUST be doing something wrong!!!"
girl
i dont have to show u my PRIVATE conversation between my ONLY friend or my cousin just because ur my mother
she nearly broke my computer screen cuz i ws tryna close it, n she wqs tryna keep it open!

i have no respect here
pls God
give me an opportunity to leave
im tired of being ******* in isolation!!!

dang- sorry girly...

@-ososra-
didnt know tor-ture was censored

also dis is Ames
just on computer, always logged into my collab acc

@-osora-
spelt it wrong T-T

lol i was like
"who da freak-"

@-osora-
das me :<

@-Silly-
hello
hru?

oH hai :3
idont feel like myself anymore.
hiws the hous

@-Silly-
still looking
we got two options now
found a cheaper place to live
it seems we'll know what we'll like next week sfter Christmas

im looking to find get a scholarship
wanna go to beauty school

ooo interesting

hey its been a while, hows it going?

@-Silly-
goin alright
just
recovering~~
yk?
taking it ez n not pushing myself

how r u?

im uh- okay. relapsed last night so.

@-Silly-
relasped?
r u okay??

nope, i reliasped AGAIN so r.i.p my thighd :laughing:

ugh i wish my blad3 was shaprer.
ive used to so much it's dull now :laughing:

is whatever.
almost atempeted today, its fine.

@-Silly-
um
no its not fine

ik how tempting it is but
in the long run
is not healthy or good for u
its not worth it hun
tis coming from someone who use to cut, n nearly attempt sui

if i can get pass thru dat awful season
so can u

yeah im not gonna c0miet i js-
almost did.

@-Silly-
ik
im just telling u dis cuz, i think its important for u to know

what ever ur feeling (now or when attempting), will pass
it wont alway be like dat okay?

okay, tyanks