I talked with my sister and I feel a lot better now and while she may have teased me a bit (not in a mean way (well maybe a little bit of a mean way)) it really helped just to talk to her she's genuinely such a nice person and I'm not sure where I'd be without her in my life
honestly it probably has something to do with me (very likely) being neuro divergent but sometimes my emotions overwhelm me and I feel awful
it's not fun to deal with and I guess it got to be too much for me
but I'm ok now