having relationships is too hard i cant wait to be an adu:t so i dont have to be paranoid my parents hate me and i cant wait to be an adult so i dont have to be paranoid my teachers ahte me i actualky want to like die id **** myself but i think i would feel embarrassed if i did that #no i think me having emotions in general is embarrassing and i dont wanna seem like attentionseek-y but like . ? i gen dont know how to explain it without that

every single day i like consider giving up on all my relationshipsagain but i like get so lonely now,i cant survivw withoutcomstantly tallking to anyone i dont want to hve friends oranything it doesnt sound like appealing at all i cant deal with constantlu hating myself because im worried eveeryone else hates me its like too much and i donr know how to make myslef like ? less lame so people like me more and reachingout to people istoo hard especially when i keep making friends like i domt

want to keep up with all you guys its too much work i cant do that i cant manage more than 3 friends at once and most of the time i likeconvince myself everyone is evil and hate everyone but my bf because hes the only one i trust isnt trying to hurt me

and i feel like such a jerk for hating all my friends but its not even you guys,its what i convince myself you guys are and i dont deserveanyone #edgy#lame i like dont even care that much ill like get over this but recently the only thing ive been looking forward to is like gettng home from school and like triggr warning cutting myself #embarrassing ! ! ! its so bad and i dontknow how to fix it and i dont know why this is happening i dont know why everything is suddenly bad

also if anypne reads this or comments on this ill probably weep i dont like knowing people read my rats

rantsssuhhh

im trying to think of something positive to add to ths uhmmm

silent salt ! ! ! out now ! ! ! im waiting for it to update but its gonna take 2 more hours because i have no wifi

ok sad again #nooo i like wish i could go back to not understandinf why my friends would hate me because now i know exactly why and its because im not funny anymore my stories arent interesting im too needy i complain too much im never able to come up with replies to anyones texts im dry i can hardly ever understand peoples messages bcause #dyslexia #embarrassing and im cringe i dont get jokes and im slow in general im annoying i usetoo many gifs i cant start conversations im not

as passionate as my friends about our shared interests i cant handle late replies i cant handledry replies even though i always give them out i can never match anyones energy i repeat things too much i talk too much about things nobody gaf about i cant form my own opinions people like stay with me out of pity i think it must be like extremely annoying to like have a life and then get,a text from me (thatfeeaking bird you hate) asking about ypu hating me like i wouldnt be my friend and why would

i stress so much about kedping my friends if being my friend isnt even worth it ! ! ! ! i like uhhgb whatever i dont even carw i never care aboutanything i never take anything or anyone seriously because im an ******* whos incapable of feeling empathy for humans and im not even good at comforting people so im not fun to talk to and its not helpful to vent to me like can my friends lit just leave me so i dont likethink im enjoyable if im like not i dont evenwant friends its too hard i dont

want this !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i literally just wanna die my grades such right now my teachers hateme my friends hate me and i cant stop crashing out because of people being mean about my bf to me and i cant stop crashing out when my boyfriend isnt talking to me god i dont eeven wanna think about how pathetic i am not being abld to remain stable without my boyfriend i should not be this attacjed to someone its embarrassing !!!!!!!

if he ever leaves me im screwed because i cant survive an hour and a half alone without him i like actually cant

i want to dtop being friends woth allmy friends for my bf again because my bf is the only person i need but heisnt always around anymore he has schoo now he has stuff goimg on so i just go weeping to my friends like ohh my bf is gonee wahh SHUT UPPPPP

entering my ev*l era expect zeroday ranfren art soon

typing responses physicqlly hurts its physically causes discomofrt somtimes i cant even bring myelf to talk tomy fiwnds but whyshould i care bcauxe you all hate me like i get it kts ok

ive abandoned everyone in my life twice and havent spoken to anyone from before those times once since but i cant do it anymore it always helps to leave everyon ebut i cant do it anymore im too reliant on everyone its so embarrassing im a loser #lame

anyway this is like embarrassing dont comment on this ill die ok bye i dont know how to put therest of what i feel into words anyah im going to bed goodnign t colors live

its not even like leaving all my friends will like effect methat much i dont have any close friends alsoo this is like not my like dramatization the only person im close with ismmy bf nobody else knows me like him i cant let myself get as vulnerable woth anyone thats not him i can t let myself be close to anyone i neve r could