actually i do know what to do unfriend, report, block im js stupid ok

@Sp4wn_P0int_Z3r0 good advice to ur self

like e daters need help sorry not sorry

Oh dāmn dude... I know you know this, but you DO need some sleep if school's in a week.
If possible, put your screens elsewhere to remove the temptation and just try relax quietly before bed. Draw traditionally or something. Do you like to read? I like to read and listen to music before bed.

Also I know I'm kinda being hypocritical but trust me dude, you need sleep.

Also yeah good self-advice. E-daters are slightly odd imo. Keep yourself safe :thumbsup:

@LeonardBirdstein its funny ive gotten advice for sleeping from three people now its a sign,,,,,,, i love giving advice and not following it myself bcus i suck

i still feel anxious drawing traditionally and i cannOT read for my life dude i get so,bored bjt sometimess i read and its fun,,, i like listening to music before bed too i get to think abt oc lore its fun

i took a i dunno how long nap today and my family ws going to costco n i realized they were gone so i cried idk and then i- cont

fell asleep agaun i hate taking naps like no pls let me be awake thank yu,,,,

e-daters are weird imo,,,,,,, like if yuve seen eachothers face like on a call for example thats fine ig,,, but js never seeing eachothers fce let alone heard their VOICE js pmo :broken_heart:

No that's alright! Music is good :)

I hate napping too cause it throws off my already pretty shıt sleep schedule, and then I miss day time that I could use to do other FUN stuff.

Sorry you've had a shıtty day though :(
I'm here always if you just wanna rant or anything - I can't guarantee I'll give you useful advice, but I'll listen :)

@LeonardBirdstein thank yu man,,, i mught rant to yu rn

okay imgonna rant ok

im actyally so fuсking done man. im so exhausted. i want to eraw but my motivation is slowly slipping away, im so anxious drawing traditilnally so i js dont do it at all,,
i want to make kandi so badly but whats the point? i wont be able to wear it bcs i can only wear three peices on each arm and they cant be that big either..
my last escape was pinterst,,, till they fuсked THAT up too. im just getting more unmotivated to do anythung everyday,,and im startung to lose| cont-

my appetite too,, i dont think they understand how this is all affecting me,, especially when my dad threatens to CHANGE SCHOOLS if my grades get worse. i hope he understsnds if he does that he'll lose his child. he says stuff like 'i dont care the risk,, i WILL keep my word' ok have fun only having one kid at home then,,,,, im gonna snap one day.. i will. its funny im cryng rn,,, im a mental wreck and im pretty sure i have depression. im surprised im still clean after all of this, but| cont.

thats because of jujitsu,, which im losing motivatioh for.
i miss being younger,, even if it was rough. i dont thunk i remember a time when it wasnt. sometimes i think abt ending it all, i mean, i could always overd0se on my dads pills, or grab a bread knife and sl!t my wrists,,, but i dont.
god im cringe. sorry for venting all this on yu. haha, its funny im cryung. im so emotional eugh.

i js KNOW school is gonna ruin me.

i love sadcore,,, it brings me comfort. i js love sad things in general

God I'm so sorry, that all sounds like shıt. Lack of motivation by itself is exhausting, cause you can't bring yourself to do the things that help you get out of the slump.
I understand your anxiety around drawing traditionally, and it's awful that your parents don't have any sense of privacy. Do you feel able to just doodle? Cause even doing anything might help, even if it's just scribbling or messing around with colours.

Kandi is SO cool, is it school rules that mean you can't wear loads? Cause you could make loads anyway and swap them out each day; that way you've got something to do that you enjoy that might help take the edge off a bit?
It's inSANE that your dad is threatening to move you - how is a new school going to HELP your grades? From my perspective, all that's gonna do is add another layer of stress to school that you don't need, given the shıttiness of it already.

I'm glad you're clean despite all of this though - if you can resist it, that's a BIG plus, and even if you're feeling shıt, you can be proud of yourself on that count, or evem just know that I'm proud of you for keeping on going.
There ARE things to live for, even if it doesn't feel that way at the moment, and despite how dıckish your parents are being, they WILL miss you, even if it doesn't seem that way.

@LeonardBirdstein well,,,, a bit after the incudent i did draw traitionally for a bit,, but the anxiety is coming back.

also its not a school rule,, i got in trouble for cutting my hair a bit n he restricted my kandi,,, honestly i dont rlly blame him for that but cmon,,,,
im losing my sense of self n idk what to do.

Don't EVER apologise for venting - if it helps to get it all off your chest, then ALWAYS talk to me. I'm always here for you; even if I don't respond immediately, I'm keeping an eye out for you.

I hope it's helped a bit to get all that out, and that I've managed to bring a bit of comfort despite it all.
Thinking of you xx

Oh for fūck's sake. That's ridiculous, your dad needs to get a little perspective on what actually matters in this world. Jesus Christ.

im probablt too anxious to even doodle,, whuch sucks.
ik my parents will miss me, and im glad im still clean, but holy shīt its rough. whats keeping me alive is honestly my friends, and ik if i kms one of them will too. i can get thru this,, js a couple more years,,,,

@LeonardBirdstein thank yu Leo,, yu mean a lot to me. thank yu for listening, i rlly needed it.

Fūck dude, I'm so sorry. I'm really glad you've got friends to keep you going - can you talk to them about this kinda shıt, or are they not those kinds of friends?

Also, would you feel comfortable talking a bit to your therāpist? I'm not sure how it works really, but even jus sharing one thing each session and hearing what she has to say could help? I'm not suggesting you tell her everything, but it could give you a bit of peace to know that someone else knows.

the urge is coming back no stop brain to my thoughts kys respectively

You too man, you're probably my closest friend on here, and I really care about you. I'm glad to have helped a little, and don't ever be afraid to hit me up again if things get worse - I want to help in any way I can ******

dāmnit why does Colours sensor loads of x now??

@LeonardBirdstein ive got those kinds of friends,, dw. i can only rlly talk and vent to them n be myself to them at school,, so ive been keeping it in recently.
i might tell my theràpist some stuff,, but im afraid if i tell her abt my thoughts and past sh she'll have to tell my parents abd thats the ONE thing i dont want them to know,,

Ok ok try really hard not to - have you got a plushie or something you can grip onto, just to keep your hands away? I'm really sorry, I don't know how it feels, or what helps you stop.

idk,,, the shortest amount is two x's,,,, look let me try three ***

yur my first online friend that i actuall talk to,, thank yu dude.

@LeonardBirdstein ok,,,, i have my childhood stuffed toy with me n i like to like scrunch his ears up
ty for the suggestion :P

Ah cool, I'm glad - will being back at school help a little bit cause you can see them again?

Yeah I totally understand that fear; if you only tell her little bits to begin with, like 'smaller' things that have upset you recently (I'm not suggesting this is a small thing, but for example your dad threatening to move schools), then she can get an idea of what it is that makes you feel shıtty, and then as you get to know her a bit better, you mkght feel safer talking to her about other things?

Always here for you xx
And that's good - what kind of plushie is it?

@LeonardBirdstein it will help sl much bcus i can talk to them and hopefully my lover will be here this year pls be here this year J,,,

good idea,, i might accidently info-dump on her haha

@LeonardBirdstein its the pink toys-r-us dog plush. its like half my size and good for hugging,,, :]

Oh that's amazing <3 I'm really hopeful for you

Awww cute!! I would LOVE a HUGE plushie, but the largest I've got are the two middle-sized Blåhaj (the IKEA shark!!) I own :3

I've gotta go have breakfast (my mu bought chocolate pancakes hehe) but I'll be back in a bit if you're still around.
In the meantime, look after yourself, try to relax, maybe listen to some music and think about your OCs
I'm thinking of you ♥

@LeonardBirdstein THE IKEA SHARK PLUSHIE LUCKY ****
its huge to me bcus im like 4'9-5'0 loll

ok!!! chocolate pancakess thats so peak,, ill be here trust!! and if im not,, im sleeping lol
enjoy yur breakfast!! <33

They're wedged down the backboard of my bed so they loom over my pillow!
I wanted the HUGE one but he's like £30 and I couldn't justify the purchase to myself hahaha

The pancakes were suprisingly mid... they were kinda dry and not very chocolatey :(

@LeonardBirdstein oh thats so tuff i NEED my room to be ocean themed
awh D: i hope yu get better pancakes another time :P

i would justify the purchace beung 'shark :3' and woudve bought it lmao

also i need help with a definition canNOT search </3
whats the difference between Genderfaun and boyflux?? :broken_heart: i wanna know so ik which one is the right one i need to use

I bought a LOAD of fish beads yesterday from this really cool shop so when I'm done dusting I'm going to make meself some fish bracelets <3

I did ALMOST buy it, but I think it was also ALL of my money at the time. I'll definitely buy him someday :D

Oooh... um... I think they're fairly similar? Genderfaun is genderfluid through only non-woman/fem-aligned identities, whereas boyflux is through masc- and non-binary-alinged identities.
I think the nuance is that boyflux is generally more masc, and genderfaun can be a bit more gender-neutral?

Sorry that was badly described
I'll find the actual definitions in a bit for ya ;)

@LeonardBirdstein THATS SO PEAK fish,,,,fish fish fis

one day,,,, i dont have an IKEA near me </3

@LeonardBirdstein oh shīt if thats the case im both lol,,,, i love my gender shoves microlabels in my microlabel sack

thank yu :3

FŪCKING FIS :fire:
Ahhh someday!!! Big Blåhaj for you :3

Yaaaayyy the microlabel sack :D np x

@LeonardBirdstein fuсking fis,,,,,, thats me canon

my microlabel sack has been sorta lost since pinterest went bye,,, rip
i still remember a handful of labels that i will now share with the class
Gay (mlm)
Abro
Omni (pref changes sometimes)
cokegummygender
kandigender
Genderfaun
Boyflux
very specific one where my gender is very complicated so i stick with gender-neutral/masc genders (i forgot name <//3)
loserboygender (dont ask)
nerdboygender (again dont ask)
dude/guy-euphoric
i think thts it

whoaaaaaa that's a LOT :D I LOVE IT!!!! My list is fairly restrained and mostly made of aroace-spec labels cause I fūcking hate the way I feel attraction so I like to have terms for it to make me feel better
My gender is pretty much just masc agender, but I've got a few microlabels for it too :)

@LeonardBirdstein I FORGOT MY AROACE LABELS FUСK,,,
Aegosèxual
Cupioromantic
demiromantic (i think idk)

i hate bejng cupio <//3
i had SO. MUCH. MORE..... my board had over 200 labels i think loll,,,,

REAL I HATE BEING CUPIO IT'S SUCH A BİTCH
LIKE
I LOVE BEING AROACE BUT THE FACT THAT I KINDA LIKE ROMANTIC STUFF SUCKS AAAAAAAAAĀSS

im glad yu find comfort in labels :DD i love labels

I should probably make a microlabels board...

Oh btw do you play Minecraft or ACNH?

@LeonardBirdstein REAALLL EUUGHHH LIKE I WANT A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP WITH ACTUAL FEELINGS TIED TO IT BUT MY BRAIN WONT LET ME <//3

ive lived too long w/o my oover eughjuilppp----- dies

@LeonardBirdstein i play ACNH!! :33 not Minecraft thou,,, i used to but never had an account lol

Oh just so you know I'm gonna be dusting my Playmobil so I can sell it on eBay, so I'm here, but I might not be fast to respond cause I gotta get SOMETHING useful done today haha

n yu should :3 i love making boards for everythbg

okay!!! :3

It's so awful :sob:

I'm slowly realising that I'm never gonna be someone's favourite/closest friend cause romance always comes before platonic love in this fūcked-up world. It's just disheartening :(

:0 yippeeee!! We should play at some point if you're able! I restarted my island and haven't been on in AGES, so I'm gonna need to tidy up haha

@LeonardBirdstein yea,,,, its sad, but im here!!! >:333 platonic love for life
we should!!! i havent played in a while either lol,,,,,

Yeah <3 I've got you, and I've got closer irl friends too, it's just that I fear anyone I befriend over the next few years will be nice, but I won't find the person I've been dreaming of since I was like 7 (I used to imagine that someday I would find someone perfect, who understands me completely and likes similar things to me)

God there's gonna be SO many weeds :sob:

@LeonardBirdstein itll be ok!! trust me,, yu'll find someon :3

weeds :broken_heart:

also uh my friend L we used to txt everyday and that was a month ago im a littl worried abt her,,,

Ok I'm officially in idiot
I just blew into a corner to get some dust out WITHOUT CLOSING MY EYES
and now there's dust in my eyes
I'm such a dumbāss omg

Ah... that's a little worrying... have you texted her, and she hasn't replied? Maybe she's on holiday somewhere with bad signal or something, or she lost her phone? I'm sure she's alright x

@LeonardBirdstein OH NO,,,, I WOULD CRY

UH I WOULD BLINJ A LOT PROBABLY,,, AND IF ITS RLLY BAD GO TO THE BATHROOM ND RINS YUR EYES OR SMTH,,,

hopefully,,, maybe she got grounded again,,,
ill probably see her at school,,, she always arrives before i do

YEAH I'M DOING A LOT OF BLINKING
I'M MOSTLY OK NOW I JUST FEEL QUITE SILLY

Ah that's a good point. I hope she's alright, and that you'll get to see her at school :)

@LeonardBirdstein when i first read it i was like 'o silly :3' but after a third read i realized what yu meant lol,,

ya

D'ya mind if I move the convo over to the hug? My Switch Lite is struggling to load all the comments here haha

@LeonardBirdstein i wanna make an object oc but idk what object to make them <//3 itll be mainky for bfdi bcus itll be the only object show ill watch (except for #BTWBR,, which is a comic on here :P)

:0 I've been thinking abt making an object OC too!!! No clue what to do tho haha