@Sticksandstones102 i dont know where to start if im being honest all of my problems are lots of little things that stem from a couple big things i dont know anymore there is somdthing bugging me i know i need to tell someone who is an adult but im too scared i only just told a friend what happened and this incident was aroud early march im worried whatll happen if i told someone i was trying to pretend like,it,didnt happen fof ages but that never works denial never works for me

and i,feel like im a bad person andi know iam because everything ive done to people and its not simple small stories they are big things that i dont want to get into and i fel likeif i was a good person or.if i was good enough for anyone to love me or like me properly id probably not be here in my aunts house where i live and i could be with my mum but she hates me and he hurts me for it i just want tto be good enough for someone but i cant im incappable of being good

i just dont feel like i matter to anyone but i feel guilty for thinking this way too nothing i ever do is good enough

@Paulines_Memorial i under stand what your going though and can reate. you Should try to ask a trusted adult or a older sibling if you have one its going to be hard but i bet you can do it! (also i by actedntly got rid of my comment sorry for any bad spelling)

@Paulines_Memorial You are wothery to be alive your still here and that makes you good enough.

and then when i try cope with how i feel all the time it usually results in me hurting myself or getting drunk or smoking and everytime i do that i feel guilty and pathetic like why am i even bothering to try fix these things im mking it worse and in situations when faced with anxiety and worry you can either change your emotions or change,your situation but its all.out of my hands im helpless soi try change my feelings but i just do it in the worst way possible i dnt know whst to do

@Sticksandstones102 i dont really have an adult i can trust i dont trust alot of people telling someone is going to make everything so much worse i just dnt think i can deal with the stress and the worry and what if people didnt believe me and stuff and i already lied to cover the truth if im suddenly trying to tell the opposite of what i was so adimant of then maybe theyd all think im a liar anyway i cant trust people

im a really bad person i know it

if i was a good person people wouldnt treat me badly al i want is a normal life but i will never have a life thats normal i hate myself i hate this world i hate evrything ive been through i want to be a normal person like everybody else i hate having disoders i hate it all i want to be normal

@Paulines_Memorial i dont know whats the 100% right thing to say other then i am just proud of you for being alive but takeing natural walks can realy help out.

@Sticksandstones102 ye thanks for listening

@Paulines_Memorial no problem i love helping people out.