i suppose i cant stop people from leaving me. its their loss if they decide to not b friends w me anymore .
and i cant stop people from ending their own life. they will be missed by me, but at the end of the day its their choice, not mine.
and if i lose friends, thats ok. i just accept it, i guess. i cant change what fate decides. and there will always be at least one person thats there for me. i am never truly alone.

after some reflecting, i realized that wanting to die and expressing that publicly doesnt make me any better than my friends who do that. i just worry people unnecessarily, and that is not at all what i want.
i'll die when fate decides i will, not because i cause it myself. at least for now.
ily all, thanks to those who worried about me. /gen

ily /p im glad youre feeling a little better now