i hate being a system. i hate the constant disassociating, the drastic things my alters sometimes do, how many times i've nearly commited because of withered bonnie. (fictive)

@Davesprite2-birdboy- how many alters do you have? btw im talking to your main rn right?

I havve 4, eridan rn. eridan, yatta, Calliope, and wwithered bonnie. Nyx is the host.

@Mollie_AndDuck-Quack well there are many reasons to live and im going to name as many as i can rn
1: the smell of rain
2: family
3: friends and besties
4: art
5: music
6: thinking of peak summer memories from childhood
7: school breaks
8: sleeping
9: the feeling of hitting a really good stretch
10: being clean for a very long time
11: love
12: the feeling of that first kiss
13: accidentally taking a wèèd gummy and watching sharkboy and lavagirl (!!NOT CONDONING!!)
14: finishing a rly good book

@Davesprite2-birdboy- what are there personalities like?

@-Harvey_Draws- Ehe thankyou, i feel like its just that time of the month of bieng sad, love the one about the wéèd gummies bro :thumbsdown:

:thumbsup:*****

@Davesprite2-birdboy- btw i will be going to bed now cuz its 1 am where i live but ill respond asap in the morning!!

K!
Nyx, host: Introvverted, anxious, can't cook for their life.
Eridan, current fronting fictivve, homestuck: (According to others) Sassy, shy, rude at times, but furiously loyal.
Yatta, dandy's wworld: Kind, energetic, generally extrovverted, sevverely sleep deprivved
Calliope, homestuck: 'wweird kid' stereotype (mlp, nightcore, vvocaloid, ect..) vvery kind, childish.
Wwithered bonnie: Sulcidal, angsty, makes face puns too much, ambivverted, great at guitar though.

idk if this counts as a vent, but I'm kinda messed up rn due to my s3xu4ll1ty. I've always been aroace, but now I'm kinda realizing I'm lesbian. but i still feel aroace too? like i like flirting w girls and hugging (in a flirty way idk how to say w/o being weird, lmk if you want me to say anyway) them, but i absolutely could never be in a relationship at all or even go on dates.

i have no idea what i am anymore, basically. I'm having an identity crisis. plus, even if i did figure it out, my bff

is SUPER h-phobic and so is my family. i could never come out at all most likely. TAT
that is if i can even manage to figure out my s3xu4ll1ty.

I'm super messed up :sob:

may i vent? i do understand if not.

i don't really like my irl bsf anymore, shes being rly hipacritical, i feel like i cant reslly be me around her but i fee bad because shes rezlly funny and nice. but anyway sry to waste your time :)

@H0W-TH3-ST4RS-SH1N3 ofc!!
@L3m0n_Br34d so either you can tell her how you feel and work it out or js slowly distance yourself from her until shes out of your life. but im sry that shes treating you that way

@L3m0n_Br34d you're not wasting my time!

so, i've been struggling with my awful mental health. i want to jump off a building and die. i want my death to be painless. if i tell anyone i know irl, i'll be sent to a mental hospital or asked dumbäss questions. i've bottled up my emotions and i can't feel pain anymore. i was basicly a sociopath, before a guy made me really happy on a daily basis (i have a crush on him) but he has a crush on my best friend (she's lesbian and feels like shït cause he likes her) and i have no chance.
cont-

continuation
i'm literaly just a dumb, mentally unstable, green haired, artist. my best friend is basicly a goddess, i don't feel jealous of her, i'm just bummed out he doesn't like me. i'm still deciding if i should tell him, but i don't want to ruin our friendship, or make him uncomfortable. i've been in his situation before, a bunch of people have a crush on you, but you only like the one who doesn't. it feels weird to know that everyone likes him. (like 10 girls do) i don't want to make him

even more uncomfortable. should i tell him? i've studied physiology and he's showing signs of intest in me, but i don't know if he does have a crush on me.

@H0W-TH3-ST4RS-SH1N3 well imo (i've never been in a straight relationship so take this with a grain of salt) i think that you should learn to love yourself before you love someone else. because you cant truly love somebody before you learn to love yourself and take care of yourself mentally. learning your limits and boundaries and when to say no is when you start respecting yourself. i hope this helps at least a little bit!

it does! thank you!

@_-Foxy-Lily-_ honestly idk this sèxuality apparently i wasnt taught this at gender school according to conservatives. but i say js go with the flow and js let the gay happen considering pride months tomorrow. btw happy pride!!!

im getting gr00med by my boyfriend and im scared, hes my step nephew (hes older) and every time i hear his voice it reminds me of my SA'ers and it brings back memories i really dont want remember, and whenever he touches me i get extremely uncomfortable and im very open with it, but last night we were at a outside movie theater and he wants me to go to the bathroom with him, i refuse and he keeps touching my thigh and grabbing me and i tense up and i have problems speaking up so im just stuck...

alr, ty :3
happy pride!

thxx, your have rly good advice :>

also happy pride :3

@staryzx alright well first tell him honestly how you feel and if he disregards that then fūcking dump him. if he was actually a good man then he would listen to you and back off. one issue is if you still like him but even with that you still deserve so much better than him. i dont even know him but he kinda sounds like a dîck. but please do whats best for you and your mental health.

i developed a new alter, roxy- homestuck: Drunk, Silly

@LycheeStar first of all you're not wasting my time and second of all you wouldn't have friends if you weren't a good friend. ik times like this get hard but sometimes you js gotta push through to see the light on the other side. and sometimes you need somebody to help you get through this. personally for me it was my sister. but it could be anybody for you. the thing is you really dont want to die you just wished you never existed and ik that feeling but ik that you are stronger than this!

@LycheeStar you are a great person! and being ''enough'' is js your definition. so be enough for yourself, not for somebody else. learn to love the person inside you and you will see how truly beautiful life really is! ik you can get through this. i believe in you

I think my girlfriend is losing feelings for me. She's always giving me short answers, never seeming like she's excited to see me, and she never tells me anything anymore. She won't even tell me if she's okay or not. I jjst wnna know what I did wrong... I think im a good girlfriend, but idek atp... do i talk 2 her abt it ? :( i feel like she's gonna get annoyed if i bring it up...

@FREAKY_FROGSLOVER yeah tell hef honestly how you feel and if it turns out bad then you js kinda have to move on. but most likely she probably going through smth and you js have to be there for her. i wish you the best of luck :grin:

*her

i wanna cut but i cant but i also want to grab a knife and slit my thorat but i know how sad my friends will be but i think they hate me and its summer break. and i can not get thearpy due to trump bc my mom is worry i will say smth wrong and get tooken away and i cant leave bc if i do i will **** myself bc my friends are the only thing keeping me alive.

@_Miyuki_ i've been where you are. not exactly but i've been there. life sucks àss. but not every part of it. think of all the things you'll never get to do if you k!lled yourself. and i know that you are stronger than the urge to cut. things will get better, i promise. personally im religious (im pagan) so idk if you'll relate to this but whenever i get the urge i pray to Aphrodite for strength or a sign to not do it. im almost 1 year clean and i still get urges. it will get better. :heart:/p

Thank you

im truly greatful

hey @-Harvey_Draws-

i need you to go to my profile and look at the first post (a vent) and tell me *** i do

Hey, so idk if this room is still active but id like to vent anyways cuz i dont want to bug my friends.

Im going to kìll myself tomorrow night. I really really don't deserve life on earth anymore and All i can do is end it. I hate myself so deeply, i really really just cant do it anymore. Sorry to waste your time. Idek if youre going to see this lol

@JuniperStar HEY NO PLEASE DONT DO THAT YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR

ik it might not seem like it rn but trust me it WILL get better. Please dont do it.

@--RX_Queen-- oh- i didnt expect you to see that lol :sob:

@JuniperStar bro i check my notifications like every 10 mins im chronically online ofc i would see it. i js want you to know that you're not alone and that im here for you/p

@--RX_Queen-- thanks.