its fine

@Lyle_ I wuz talking to sm

ok its fine

@Lyle_ whats wrong mammas :worried:

nothing just my head is pounding and my brother is pissing me off and i ******* cant stop crying lol

@Lyle_ TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED! R u ok?

i dont know when i move my head it hurts and everyone in my house is sèxist and annoying to me

@Lyle_ Take some ivy profien :pray: fr, My parents are too

Im not allowed to

@Lyle_ oop- Well my stupid dad put a timer on my switch bc its a "privlige" So i have to go :sob: :pray:
I'll give him the privlige when i shove it up his a**!

oh...

okay bye...

@Lyle Bye mammas Ly /p DON'T do anything bad ok, I can since it, pinky promise me

@-DramaMamma fine... i pinky swear ya big bum...

@lyle_

i actually promise

srsly i do...

Hey

why don't you tell me whats going on?

you know i care, and wont let you do ****.

@Lyle_ I did tell you lex

ok but why do you want to end yourself. dude, i ******* care about you, okay? you can always talk to me... iono what i'd do with out you man...

You asked me why I didn’t say anything.

I don’t know. Maybe because I didn’t think I was allowed to. Maybe because the second I open my mouth, everything spills out too fast and too ugly.

The vodka burns less than I thought it would. The smoke makes my eyes sting, or maybe that’s just me thinking too much. About how I’m only halfway here. About how I feel more me when I’m with him, but also like I’m one wrong word from being unmade.

When I sneak back in, I’m careless. Maybe I wanted to get caught. Maybe I was tired of hiding all of it—the sneaking out, the bruises I give myself, the fact that I think I might like guys more than I’m supposed to.

my Dad didn’t yell at first. He just stood in my room like it wasn’t mine anymore.

He didn’t ask why. He just took—my door, my phone, my music, my sketchbook. Like punishment could clean me up. Like locking me in a silent box would make me less broken.

I didn’t say anything. I don’t think I’m allowed to. I think if I open my mouth, I’ll either scream or beg. And I’m not sure which would be worse.

Do I deserve it? Maybe. I snuck out. I drank. I smoked. I cut. I lied. I kissed a boy and didn’t hate it.

But I also laughed, and I breathed, and I tried. I wanted to forget the way I disappear in this house. I wanted to feel like someone was choosing me—even just for a few hours in the dark.

Maybe that’s not right. Maybe that’s not good.

But it’s real.

And maybe I’m not the person they wanted.

Maybe I'm not wanted

@lyle_

bud you know thats not true, you are wanted

you dont deserve getting ******* on for being gay, and im sure thats not why you got in trouble

@Lyle_ Ily /p

can i tell you something cam or ben whatever your name is

@Lyle_ Cam Is the nickname for my middle name, & ben is my first name nickname (Sorry the probably Didn't make since) But yea

im in love w someone who dosnt go for my kind sorry its totally unrelated

but with that said, i will never let anything happen to you.

@Lyle_ Lex I appreciate You sm & Your like my best friend ever :heartpulse: I want you to know that ilysm and ty for being there for me

i will always be here because i ******* care... just promise me you wont hurt yourself... i need you dude...

@Lyle_ I'll...try gtg Im not supposed to have this ly lex

bye lyt...

you didnt promise me, and i swear to god ben. if you do something i swear to god.