Can i just be dead already?

Everythings dull. Everything isn't as bright as it used to be.
Nothing's fun anymore. My blue eyes have become a dull grey. I'm ugly. My self esteem is gone. I want to be kìdnapped or àbused for validation or for attention. I want to be comforted during a panic attack. I want to be told that im okay. I just want someone to hold me close and give me love. But i wont ever get that.
I dont know. Its just hard.

#Lycheesvents