goodbye by Tilie
Hi, I know no one's going to read this so I'm going to write to myself, I've always been a weird kid, I'm hyperactive and bipolar but I didn't know bipolar could lead to this kind of thing, I've been cutting myself for a long time and it really helps, I cut myself to punish myself for being like this, for being a shit, I'm crazy, but for real, he wants to send me to hospital because of my weight, I'm apparently too thin for my age but what's the point, I'm a lost cause, I don't want to live like everyone else, a fucking life where you work and sleep, work and sleep, it's torture, I've tried, I've really tried, I feel selfish doing this, some people get raped, beaten up and then there are less who are fine. ..that's the main reason why I hate myself, I'm disgusted, you can judge me I understand. I hate this world and I hate myself. I made a lot of failed attempts, medical ones that I threw up again, the beam that broke that I was hanging on to, the jump that just ended up in the hospital...and when I woke up in the recovery room I cried because I didn't want to go through that hell again. I tried, I held on. The earth doesn't want me but neither does death, where do I belong? I can't take it any more, I'm at the end of my rope and I'm not joking, I've got a lot to say but I can't write a pamphlet either. I'm happy to have freed myself.
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Comments
26 Feb, 2025, 3:56 pm
Sorry
26 Feb, 2025, 4:20 pm
Hi Tilie, r u there? my son found your picture/post & we are concerned for you. Here if you need someone. Huggs
26 Feb, 2025, 4:24 pm
im sorry ur going through this... ik nothing i say will help at all bc u dont know me.
and depression is horrible.. im sorry your going to kys when u have your whole life ahead of u.. im srry i cant stop u.. alot of ppl care abt you,even if u cant see it. but its your choice..
i pray u dont kys and live a happy life..ik days can be very rough i get it. ive been through bad days,we all have.
26 Feb, 2025, 5:58 pm
@Tilie je suis désolée d'apprendre cela.. je n'ai pas compris tout les mots mais j'ai quand même compris de quoi tu parlais. On te comprend, on te soutiens et on t'aime, j'espère que tu ira vite mieux. sache que tu n'est pas seule, je suis la si tu veux parler (et dailleurs toute ma #colorsliveteam est aussi la pour toi). n'hésites pas. je sais que la dépréssion c'est difficile, je suis moi même passée par la, mais dit toi qu'il y aura toujours des personnes bienveillantes (suite en bas)
26 Feb, 2025, 6:01 pm
il y aura toujours des personnes bienveillantes dans ton entourage pour te guider et t'aider. tu peut avoir le moral à zéro, c'est normal. je sais que tu as essayé de te sentir mieux, peut être que c'est aussi aux autres de t'aider. parles-en a un(e) ami(e), un parent, un(e) psy... il y a plein de personnes pour t'aider.
j'espère que tu te sentiras mieux en lisant cela ♥
26 Feb, 2025, 6:02 pm
(et aussi je voulais dire "la #colorsliveteam"; pas "ma" dsl j'ai mal écrit)
26 Feb, 2025, 6:04 pm
your not a lost cause @Tilie :( dont think that
we love you i will pray for your peace
26 Feb, 2025, 6:08 pm
en plus, @Tilie , je sais que tu as envie de quitter ce monde, mais avant de le faire, pense d'abord aux personnes que tu va laisser dérrière toi.. beaucoup de personnes ont envie de le faire, mais dans la majorité des cas, ils ne pensent pas aux personnes qu'ils vont laisser dérrière eux : parents et amis (si ils ent ont), famille, etc... ils seraient si triste.. si tu ne te bas pas pour toi, fait le au moin pour eux...
11 Mar, 2025, 7:18 pm
@Byy_Ycn tu ne comprend pas c'est egoiste de ma part de rester ici, je narrive pas a partir parceque je suis une lache cest tout. Les personne ici souffrent a acause de moi donc je suis une egoiste....
11 Apr, 2025, 5:34 pm
mais non Tillie ne dit pas ca, on ne souffre pas avec toi au contraire tu nous rend heureux, si tu partais ca déchirerais la colorsliveteam car on laura tou sur la conscience, pareil pour ton entourage
25 Apr, 2025, 9:31 am
@SunLight00000025 @Mama_L
hello, I'm really sorry to have worried you. I don't know what went through my head to write this ... I'm sorry, I fell into a great dépression For 2 years and now I'm much better, I've just lost my reason for living otherwise I'm much better. I've stopped cutting myself and I'm eating better. Thank you for your concern and sorry too...I'was just lost but I'm much better now. Thank you so much !
25 Apr, 2025, 9:31 am
@zoni_lilly @Byy_Ycn
25 Apr, 2025, 3:41 pm
im glad your doing better :) keep up the amazing effeert your doing great ! :)
25 Apr, 2025, 4:04 pm
@zoni_lilly :heart:
27 Apr, 2025, 9:17 pm
:)