I want help on how to do that to sum up why is I have been though $@ and im still in the hole it left me in, I have been in this 'hole' for 7 years amd more has just happened over time and yes I have been though $ħ

@sweet_peach_girl
Hey. I'm not a professional at all, but I'll give my thoughts to anyone struggling. Itll always depend on your personal situation and who you are.
I come from a history of mental illness, and breaking away from a toxic relationship. I learned a lot from the experience. My entire life went downhill in the 8 years I was in that relationship, and I went genuinely insane. Having delusions that made me push away any semblance of a support system (my friends who really tried for me)
When I got out of that, it wasn't even by my own strength. I was dumped, so it was out of my control. Pushed out of the nest, so to speak. But how I handled it mattered. It was like a catharsis, allowing me to step back and see the whole picture rather than my narrow, miserable view.
I took comfort in knowing the world was bigger than I could see. That eventually led to "IM bigger than I can see." I've always been better than I thought, more capable than I thought. I could have continued to be miserable, but sheer willpower to make it out, to prove I'm "better than what he (I) thought" drove me forward. I'm quite the contrarian, after all.

I studied psychology when diagnosed with depression. The earliest conclusion I came to was this: Humans are capable of such incredible feats, but our minds are capable of even MORE. Getting better is well within our power.
(An inspiration for me was also the character Kratos from God Of War. In the newer games, he talks a lot about "Be Better." I've built the new foundations of who I am on that. Everyday, I will Be Better.)

I'll still have struggles, I've had days or weeks where I'm scared I'm regressing into the dark again, especially the last 2 weeks. But talking to my friend group is good for it, just having a good time and relaxing with good folks. But above all, being hyper-aware of where my mind is helps. Knowing "okay, I'm not doing well, I should ground myself and work on it for a second." It keeps me from spiralling and losing my progress. Talking myself through these emotions.

I don't know your struggles, your story, but I know humans. We are powerful. When we feel weak, that's our own strength acting on ourselves. The lower you feel, the stronger you actually are. Getting better is a skill, loving yourself and maintaining happiness is a skill. But EVERY skill can be trained.