@felixstayy Here, this is more private.

oh ok

can you tell mme

@felixstayy Would you like a summary or the exact message?

exact ppleas3

@felixstayy
Okay, he said; 'and to the love of my life Linnea, I'm sorry I couldnt be the prince charming you deserved and I hope you find that person who makes you happy. The person who makes you feel like you don't want to close your eyes and not wake up. I'm giving you 2 days to mourn me, I want you to be happy. That is all I have ever wanted. I love you princess.'

oh mygod i cant do tthis im ccryng
why did he do tthis to mme why did he do tths

@felixstayy I'm very sorry, I don't understand the whole situation but I truely don't think it was your fault.

nno im not gonna ddo 2 days i cant its gnna be mmonths its gonna be longer than we were ever together i cant do this

wwhy can i come with him i. want to so badly

@felixstayy I'm very sorry, you can talk to me and vent for as long as you need.

i need to come with him i cant last a day without him i cant

@felixstayy Please calm down and take deep breaths. I'm sure that Isn't what Kyota would want. Before he went mute he used to rant about you and how much he loved you. He would want you to live your life to the fullest.

but i dont want to live mt life to the fullest the only peron helping me was him and e was the only person keeping me alive and hes gone
fforever i ccant
oh mmy god

@felixstayy
Belive me, I understand how you are feeling but Kyo would be upset if he saw you this upset over him.

i feel so nauseous i feel like im gonna throw up im so disgusted at myself

well i dont ccare i just want him in my arms again

@felixstayy I hope I'm not overstepping but can I ask what happened..? It seems like you were the last person to talk to Kyo.

basically i broke his heart i hate myself for it and i want to die but i hurt him and its ttoo late now i cant get over it and i wont

@felixstayy What do you mean you 'broke his heart'?

the moment i start realizing that i DO still love him an i never lost feelings like i said i did i just was stressed and i cant go bck i cant say i love him one last time i want to die

i told someone i lost feelings in him, on his ppost and it hurt him but now i realized i neer lost feelings i just was stressed

he died because i couldnt say i loved hhim...

@felixstayy I understand how you feel.

but i did i was just too stressed and overwhelmed to,ssay realize it

i hate myself please. kiII me

@felixstayy Do you know when Kyo sent his last message? We are trying to determine the E.T.O.D.

time, i dpnt know. it was yesterday but his last medsage to me was "goodbye love"

@felixstayy
Okay, thank you

@felixstayy Again, I am very sorry for your loss..

oh my god that makes it worse i feel horrible i cant forgive myself

i. relapsed

@felixstayy It was not your fault Linnea.

yes it wwas

my arms hurt

@felixstayy Relapsed?

yex

i want to slit my ndck ffor him

@felixstayy Drügs or self harm?

self hrm

@felixstayy Please do not do that.

and i was 2 months clean

no i want tto do it ffor him i want to slit my nck like he did

@felixstayy Kyo wouldn't want you to hurt yourself over him.

id rather him be mad at me then him ddie at all
but hes already gone

@felixstayy He loved you. I know that for sure. He would hate to see you this upset over him.

i need comfort bbut haerin isnt on and kyos dead i have nobody left

@felixstayy I'm not sure how much comfort I can be but I can try my best.

please kiII me

whenever i try to do it myself the universe wont llet me

@felixstayy
Please don't do that..

if the universe let me die i would be dead 10 months ago

@felixstayy Kyota is one person. Please don't let him be the last person you date. You seem like a lovely person and I'm sure it will get better.

idk how im gonna be good to a lover in the future when hes gone and i dont know wat to do

i am not a good person ddont say i am

@felixstayy I don't understand.

wha do you mean
im saying with my mental state rn bc kyo is dead, idk how ill act happy ans give attention to my future lovers.

and then i said dont call me a good person, bc im not.

@felixstayy i dont understand why you think you are a bad person.

because i am, i dont need to think. i know i am.

@felixstayy why?

im the reason my ex died. my dad hates me. i have no friends other than on here and even then theyre barely on and ignore me at times.

@felixstayy Your friends seem to care alot. They care so much that they are dissing on Kyo.

ehh they have always been like that though.

idk bro i need to learn how to cope

@felixstayy I don't know.

welp i have to leave for my plane

@felixstayy
okay, have a nice day and stay safe please!

thank you

before i leave, kyo does know i love him right

@felixstayy To be honest I'm not exactly sure..

is there a way to tell him that i do, even if hes gone...?

@felixstayy I personally don't belive in a god but I don't know.

me neither, i dont believe in god either. but i do believe in witchcraft, and spells...

@felixstayy I think he loved you. This is just my opinion but I think he loved you and didn't care if you loved him back or not. Please don't blame yourself.

okay...thank you...i just miss him...

@felixstayy I understand. I miss him too..

im sorry...first haru and now kyo...

@felixstayy Yeah.. it hurts but it will be okay.

how did he survive the hospital having a 30% chance of survival but died bc of an overdose...

@felixstayy When he was bleeding out he came to me because he realized he wanted to live.. I guess he was so done that he couldn't find that reason this time.

oh my god if only i fcking just stayed ith him he would still bbe here

@felixstayy I don't think anyone could have saved him.

yes, i could. i have saved his life so many times

@felixstayy From what he told me before he died, you saved him so many times. You helped him Linnea.

i told him to not use the coke and he promised he wouldnt
im so mad at him and myself, he left me and i couldnt even say that i loved him fpr real

@felixstayy I understand..

i need a hug

@felixstayy
You can hug me if you need.

yes

huggies...

@felixstayy I don't want to replace Kyo whatsoever. However you can talk to me and pretend I'm him if that would help you cope. Not romantically though please.

i know not romantically, dating my dead ex's brother would be a bit weird...but thank you, that helps a lot

@felixstayy Okay, you said you had a flight?

yeah im in waiting place now usimg my phone's wifi

@felixstayy
Cool! Where are you going?

california, san diego

@felixstayy That's cool!

yea ig
im goint to see family on my dads side

@felixstayy Yeah, we are already setting a date for Kyo's funeral.. So I get to go to Japan next week.. Yay...

i was so proud of him tthough because he left japan, after he said he wouldnt live to leave...but now hes dead...

@felixstayy Yeah.. He had just gotten back a few hours before he ended it... He always said that he wanted to be buried next to Haru in our hometown..

aw...thats so ccute but heartbreaking...

@felixstayy Yeah.. I'm gonna miss him..

me too...god i just want to hold him...so badly...

@felixstayy Would it help you to talk about him? Like good memories?

no...it would make me cry even harder..

Okay, thats fine. I'll be here to help you however I can..

thank you yuri... <3 /vvvp

@felixstayy Anytime Linnea <3/vvvp

also, whats some facts abt yourself? i wanna get to know you better ^^

@felixstayy
umm well im 16 going on 17 this saturday.. idk, what do you wanna know?

i mean like favorite color, animal, etc...

@felixstayy
My favorite color is green and my favorite animal is red pandas

oohh
kyos favorite animal was a panda
anyways uhh whats your eye color?

@felixstayy
green
Do you know this @/avataranime-gurl ?

ooh pretty /p

also yes shes kinda annoying tho

@felixstayy
She's talking about how much she liked Kyo but was scared of you..

@felixstayy
also thank you! wbu?

ouhm??? yea i have hated her for a while

and my eyes are grey

@felixstayy wow! i've never met someone with gray eyes..

aw -w- yea i think that my eyes are honestly the only pretty feature abt me

@felixstayy
I'm sure that's not true!

ehh i mean im really skinny...like super skinny and ig that suits me? but then my hair, its okay, then my arms, covered in scars.
the only good picture i have of myself is when i had a SH!T tone of makeup on so like it made me pretty

@felixstayy
Scars don't make you any less beautiful. I'm sure that you just don't see your own beauty.

ehh, none of my past lovers did, so neither do i. everyone but kyo ignored everything abut me.

@felixstayy That just means that you haven't met the right person. The right person will cherish you and everything about you.

ehh

@felixstayy
What do you mean 'ehh'?

idk im bored

@felixstayy
What do you want to do?

idk

@felixstayy I'm kind of upset right now..

bc of kyo or a different reason?

@felixstayy
Well alot of reasons.. Why does nobody believe Kyo is dead... It's bringing up alot of feelings. I'm struggling to cope with the fact he is gone and these people are attacking me and saying aweful things about Kyota...

ooh...

@felixstayy I guess I'm just confused...

welp, people dont like him bc he cheated on me more than 10 times

@felixstayy Okay, that's fair. Now I'm kind of p1ssed off at him too..

ooh

@felixstayy How did you not hate him?!!?

idkk, i judt didnt

@felixstayy Well I'm going to block anybody who disrespects my dead brother but I do understand.. I'm so sorry my brother hurt you like that..

its fine

@felixstayy
No it's not? He cheated on you Linnea.

almost all of my past lovers did the same im used to it atp

@felixstayy That isn't okay! You shouldn't have to be used to it! You are worthy of love and someone who won't cheat on you.

thank you

@felixstayy It's true Linnea. You might not belive you are but you are a wonderful person.

im not but ty

@felixstayy
Who told you that?

myselof

@felixstayy Who else?

just myswlf

@felixstayy Somebody told you that because nobody as awesome as you just comes up with that. You are a wonderful person and if nobody has told you that before than you need to find better people.

im not a good person tho...

@felixstayy Yes you are.

eh

also hows your other bro? i forgot his name but how is he?

@felixstayy
Momiji? He doesn't care.

care about kyo passing?

@felixstayy Yeah, he doesn't care. He never liked or cared about Kyo.

oohhh...yezh i remember that....i meant how is he in general though

@felixstayy I don't really know.. He doesn't talk to me much.

oh
welp
can i talk to him?
(on a different post than this one, i wanna annoy him a bit...bc yk he kimd of s3xually hrassed me before)

@felixstayy He is out with friends right now but i will try to get him to talk to you when he gets back.

okie, lmk when hes free

@felixstayy I will. How are you feeling?

ehh still not over kyo but ill live

@felixstayy
That's great! I'm proud of you!!

yeah

ahwhzssamwy im bored and hae got offline again after i was yapping to her :broken_heart:

@felixstayy Who is hae?

haerin is my best friend @ jisung

@felixstayy
ohh okay. You can yap to me!

ehh idk if you would want to know about my actual obsession with felix from skz romantically and s3xually

@felixstayy
lol, I like skz! I'll listen.

okay so brah i need this man
hes like my future husband

@felixstayy oh really?

yes he is so fine his VOICE his EVERYTHING

@felixstayy
lmao yeah he's cool. I'm Seungmin biased

seungmin in the building

felix is my EVERYTHING i need him so bad

id let him do anyrhing to me

@felixstayy
0-0 oh?

yes anythng id let him even drown my ahh in the ocean :heart_eyes_cat: or drown in his eyes instead heh.....anyways i love felix hs my husband i need to turn 18 and go to south korea and meet this mn and get married and have children and i will name them felix jr and felix jr jr :3

@felixstayy
o-0 got ittt
bro what does this girl mean "why did he do it?" like whatttt?!???

ik bro shes stupid

ANYWAYS and then comes bang chan, my bias wrecker
hes so pookie i love him too aapaiajakdhkxusajieyaldksus

@felixstayy
lol yeah hes adorable

ad then hyunjin OH MY GOD HYUNJIN hemwaanshhsjdhsj i want to marry all 8 of them gyatt DAYUM.

@felixstayy
lol, brb i gotta go eat

awh oka

@felixstayy
I'm *************!!!!

baaaaaaacccccccck

hiiii

@felixstayy how was your flight?

goooddd!! im,in a cabin!

@felixstayy oooh fun!

@felixstayy My helix peircing is infected :sob: im gonna cry..

ooh :sob: oh no

helix...
replace the h with an f

@felixstayy
-_- gurl-

hehe im just a girl :ribbon:

@felixstayy Can I rant to you abt this guy I met?!?

ssuee

sure

Well I didn't just meet him, he has been my best friend for a couple years now and I have the most massive crush on this man. I was hanging out with him on tuesday, we went to the park and library. So he was kinda lightly flirting with me and that threw me off but we keep it pushing. :nail_care: (note!: im bi and he is "straight") so when I had to go home he was like "ill walk you to your car" and im like "ookie" and so he walks me to my car. and I was parked next to a chain link fence. and he-

HE PINNED ME AGAINST THE FENCE AND KISSED ME!!!! And it wasnt just a kiss this man kissed me hard with tounge and teeth! I'm fighting for my life over here!!! And then he turns around and walks away and says "I'll call you later"
@felixstayy

DAYUM that honestly reminds me of this one guy i used to date tbh thats almost exactly how we got together

i want felix to do that to me

@felixstayy
lmaoo i canttt i was dumbfounded!

gay ahh :blush:

@felixstayy how dare you! >:0

hhehehhahjay

@felixstayy Is that drawng a self portrait?

@felixstayy btw momiji is home if u wanna talk to him

yea sure :)

also yea

@felixstayy
ok, I'll go get him rq