i keep getting obsessed with random people but him and finn are permanent. ive never experienced real love before so whenever i find a hot boy whos kind and funny, i immediately get attatched. isnt it funny that ive only found two people like this, aka finn and him. lol

i need help. am i the only one who's not really interested in adult funtime and stuff? im really just interested in being loved and wanted. when he keeps on looking at me i feel on top of the world. all my relationships except one (which was on here) were toxic, and i was the only one showing love. i like actually dont really know how it feels

ive only felt loved once (the relationship i was talking about above, on here) so yeah. ive only been in love 3 or 4 times which is crazy.. lol. like i feel lost. i feel annoyed. i just want to be held honestly. i dont want s.xual things, which a lot of boys think so, which makes me pïssed. i feel like its gonna be a long time until i feel comfortable enough to want those. i feel broken, not in a cringe way, like seriously. ive come all this way but i just lose everything.

alright, what im about to say, please take this seriously. things a little zesty and stuff i feel like im comfortable with. but sx, im just not sure with. i feel like im never gonna make it anywhere in a relationship if i dont let the male touch me sëxually sometimes. i like being touched, but only by people i have a crush on, or im really close with. do yall see what i mean or am i sounding like a physcopath right now-? oh my god this is so hard to explain.

i really hope im not the only person who feels like this. i just feel stuck. i love affection. i love him. i dont know if im venting right now or not, im getting kind of tired of drawing myself in gore or something. doing things like this honestly help more. i just needed to dump all this out, i feel stuck. i just want to be loved and wanted. fück i dont know what love is. like honestly what the fück is it? something i cant have, for sure. i sound insane lmao..

and now i dont even know my gender. i really want to be straight, and honestly i think i am, but my gender keeps coming in and changing my mind. this is shït. im like a fûcking dog waiting to be unlocked out of a cage. im acting like im dealing with the most serious problems ever, when i know people go through things way worse then my problems. i want to be happy. when he looks at me, when he laughs, when he speaks, i feel happy. i just want him. this is honestly kïlling me.

alright i think im done, sorry for rambling i just needed to let this out.

wtf was i on about..