Please dont, i dont know you, but its really not worth it man. whatever is going on will pass, dont make a permanent solution to a temporary problem. im here for you man, dont do it.

@minenwerfer its a permanent thing that is happening

whats going on??

@minenwerfer bipolar and someone who raised might die tomorrow

oh my god
im actually so fųcking sorry what the hell, i really hope that whoever your loved one is is ok, and i really hope that tomorrow isnt the last day you see them. itll be ok, it really will be. i know whats going on is hard for you, and nothing will make it any less hurtful, but please do not harm yourself or kıll yourself. it may relieve you or the thought of it relieves you, but its not worth it. you have a long life ahead of you and itll all work out for you in the end.

@minenwerfer it only goes down hill from here if it doesn't happen tomorrow it will happen soon and when it does its gonna be hell

please try to distract yourself. when it does happen, you need to develop coping skills that are not self harm. please try anything but that. death of a loved one takes years of coping and help to get over, but itll be significantly harder to get over if self harm is a way for you to cope. i care about you, im proud of you, and im hoping the best for you. just please, dont do anything to yourself. itll be okay, it doesnt feel like it right now and it wont for a long time, but itll be okay.

@minenwerfer yeah

@minenwerfer the surgery went well im so glad

@minenwerfer thank you

@MaggotBelly Im glad to hear! Im wishing them a quick recovery :3

@MaggotBelly No problem man :)

@minenwerfer there wont be much of a recovery it was to re open her dyalis port because she had a masave blood clot and it was a 70 % she Wouldn't make it because of health

oh.
is there still a rate she could survive even after the surgery?

@minenwerfer shes 86 and bed ridden it just hurts because she was always there when my mom wasn't

@MaggotBelly oh im so sorry :( in a good note, shes still here with you, even after the surgery. it still gives you days, weeks, months, or even years still with her by your side. maybe spend as much time with her as possible? (if youre not already)
she seems like a very sweet woman to be around, and im grateful she was there for you growing up

@minenwerfer she cant talk anymore and she doesnt remember anyone and when she passes my mom is gonna snap im gonna be loseing her and life is gonna get worse im prob gonna be going back to the hospital

@MaggotBelly once she does, if your mom does snap, if she does anything to hurt you mentally or physically get into contact with cps as soon as possible. and is going back to the hospital a good or bad thing? peoples views on them are different depending on the person.

@minenwerfer its good and bad. and i can not contact cps even if i wanted she wont let me near a phone and i only leave the house for church and store trips. she wont physicaly hurt me but she is very verbaly abuseive.

@MaggotBelly do you not go to school? if you do you may need to call them on a friends phone.

@minenwerfer homeschool

@minenwerfer i dont really know ppl at church so thats not a option and plus i dont wanna tell anyone there

@MaggotBelly oh man. well since you have hardly any options id reccomend to just wait as patiently as possible, while still giving yourself things to do. get a job, get a drivers liscense, get a car, and save money for an apartment until you can get out. esp because getting a job will get you away from your mom and around more people.

@minenwerfer yeah i think i the best option is hospital

@MaggotBelly alright, whatever is best for you. the hospitao luckily can get you away from her for long periods of time

@minenwerfer maybe they wont let me stay for more then 3 days tho

@MaggotBelly oh :sob:
find ways to stay longer while there, js dont show ur getting any better (even if you are)

@minenwerfer mom told them last year i only whent to talk to people so they keep me in a room by myself with only a bed :skull:

@MaggotBelly are u being so fr :skull: