The good news is your family problems are relatively few. You have my sympathy when it comes to medical expenses and depression/anxiety. Those can be an incredibly difficult hurdle in life.

@The_Adjudicator I have a lot of family problems but they couldve been more considering my and our situation
And meds are hella expensive and i dont get any money with is awesome so my parents have to pay for everything and i hate that...
And what makes it even worse is that they are needed to stay alive but they arent available a lot of times so i have to switch to similar but weaker ones which also dont work the same and have to hope they are enough till the right ones are available again...

@The_Adjudicator I mean, and i extremely sorry to burden you, im on deaths door which is absolutely not scary or unfair at all (obviously sarcasm)
And nobody, even professionals, dont know how to help me, and some just dont care but that is a very different story...
Yeah, my brain and body are betraying me and i shouldn't even draw bc it costs to much energy but i cant just lay in bed and cry... and i love drawing...
Im so sorry i dont have people to talk to so every chance i get i over do '-'

Nothing about this is a burden. I'm quite delighted to chat with you whenever I can. Though I'm usually online for a short time most days, I do try to make the most of it any time.

You have my empathy regarding your life circumstances. I can't even imagine how difficult that must be. But for what it costs you, I think it's best you keep doing what makes you happy. At least this way you will be creating tangible memories that will last.

@The_Adjudicator Yeah but i do tend to overdo it withe the whole "trauma dumping" :/
Its just not correct to burden other people with the knowledge and the unhappy feelings that come along
Those are my problems...

I try to make the best out of it, even tho its getting harder and harder
I just dont know anymore
I dont do stuff bc i want to do it, no just bc what else should i do, i draw at this moment bc what else is there right now..
I dont know I just dont
U shouldve seen me when i was

healthy :}
I actually think i am positive and have a good personality at heart but it all just gets so suppressed and kicked in to a small corner
And so i become this always whinning annoying person that is literally a party popper and i hate it bc even tho i dont believe that i am a "saint" im definitely better then this but i cant do s*ht about just hoping that wonders really exist and i finally can be free from ths prison that my own mind and body created...
Yay what a way to start the day :}

Your condition, whichever it is, I trust is very real, and I can only imagine how challenging it all is. I dont intend for this to be belittling of your situation in any way, I've heard and thini I live by the following statement:
"Attitude is not a force of circumstance, but rather a matter of choice".
With that, I am well aware of how much circumstance can influence attitude. It's hard to be joyful when you're burdened by an endless wave of depression driven self-deprecation.

I think to myself sometimes how I might respond if I suddenly found myself disabled in one way or another. I love to ride my bike and take long walks, I'm happy to be helpful and a handi-man when someone needs me to help with any sort of task. I often wonder how I could possibly cope with life if I suddenly found myself unable to do any of these things. I can only hope I would have people who would gladly help me with my needs the way I would gladly help them.

There is little I can do to help you with your very real needs, but do know that I think often about what you may be going through, that you have my sympathy, and that you can always call on me like this if you ever need just a little extra morale support.