i moved our chatroom :thumbsup:

♡

@M3DiCATI0N

hi!!, i thought i commented on one of your posts yesterday but i guess it was the wrong person, of course I remember you!!
and I go by Aiden now <3/p
But i miss you too, how are you doing?? theres a lot i have to tell u tbh

@M3DiCAti0N
im so glad your alright!!! <33333
theres so much drama that has happened lately istg-
Sooo, i got my phone taken away for like 6 whole months, then I got it back on christmas, my parents then took it again because i contacted a person they didnt like, and they told me not to, but i did it anyway bc she was my "bsf" all to find out, she was toxic, and maniuplated me into thinking my mom was just ly-ing. and to talk to her. so yeah she ruined my life, i'll never have a phone ever again
Then yk me and my ex broke up what... 3-5 months ago? i took a really bad downfall, almost k!lling myself, still have bad depression
im kinda just bored all the time, i used to cry over my phone 24/7 but i dont care much anymore.
I've made like 10 new amazing friends, and one of them became my boyfriend Febuary 6th and he really accepts me being trans, hes the sweetest person, and cares for me more than i care for myself <3 love him frfr

but yeaahh im not so bad off anymore, i was sick all week and im now recovering so im happier :)

what irritates me tho.. is me and my ex are still best friends :-: but like she and I still have beef with eachother
like i cant even talk abt my bf without her getting jealousy and being mad at me- like bruh -_- and im not even trying to "brag" im just happy...
but whatever
hope your having a good day <3333

you have nothing to be sorry abt! im just stupid :sob:

its probably not a you thing, idk why people would ever hate you-
and thank you TwT
hows your life been??

@m3dicati0n

forgot to tag LMAO-

oh my god.. thats awful! :sob: hes gonna get whats coming for him sooner or later :( i hope he does.
and yeah my stepdad... is my worst enemy we dont even talk
but i bet your new kitten is so adorable omg! give her a great home, spoil her :3

@M3Dicati0n

@m3dicati0n AWWWWW

@M3Dicat0n

the greatest showman

whats yours? :o

@M3dicati0n

im listening to the album rn wt-f :skull:

OOO HAMILTON-

@m3dicati0n WAITT RECCOMEND ME POPULAR SONGS FROM THERE-

@m3dicati0n OMGG HER VOICEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAA

@m3dicati0n hiiI!

@m3dicati0n

why do guys kiss like they're devouring you :skull:

like chatttt :sob:

also hru?

@m3dicati0n

ahhh im just relaxing, tryna calm my nerves :sob:

also FR? CAUSE LIKE :SOB: I KISSED MY BF AND HE WAS LITERALLY TRYING TO MAKE OUT WITH ME AND I WAS LIKE WOAHH THERE BUDDY :SOB:-

i thought he was lowkey gonna eat me :sob: :sob: :sob:
but i hope you feel better! sleep alot for sure

BTW THAT WAS LIKE THE FIRST TIME WE'VE KISSED SO I WAS TRYNA NOT DO TO MUCH
HIM ON THE OTHER HAND - :SKULL:

@m3dicati0n help i said too much information :skull:

@m3dicati0n

istg so akward :skull:

im so damn tired rn :sob: too

@m3dicati0n
can i vent abt something....

@m3dicati0n
Thanks <3

man yesterday I was crying so hard.. I had such a good day and then my depression took over, I was suddenly feeling really insecure, i have dysphoria thats really bad
if you dont know what dysphoria is- its when your insecure of your gender, and not looking like the opposite gender.
And I just hate it so much... like my friends misgender me all the time, and I get it, its hard to get used to bc i call my other trans friend the wrong name and pronouns alll the time, but i feel HORRIBLE for it.
But im mostly upset about the fact that im not a real guy, and if I was they wouldn't ever use the wrong pronouns.

@m3dicati0n
yeah everytime i have good days i get sad.. I already used to being insecure all the time :(

@m3dicati0n

also i am the biggest extrovert but sudenly ive gotten really introverted -

@m3dicati0n i lowkey think i just have severe depression cause like.. everything i used to be interested in, out the window, and i've suddenly started to procrastionate every single thing
like there are so many things ik i need to do rn but its like im stuck

@m3dicati0n aww thank you so much! :sob:

@medicati0n

man i am so mad...

@m3dicati0n me and my bsf.. (aka my ex)

got in this stupid fu-cking pety argument.. bc I was saying how Sabrina Carpenter is very innapropriate, and she needs to stop doing s3xual things on stage or she might get the wrong attention
this girl, said I was s3xualiing her and that it was such a "typical male thing to say" like WOW. and she said she can do whatever she wants and shouldn't be s3xualized bc of it.
And i told her that sabrina WANTS to be s3xualized
bc it seems she does
she started making excuses it was bc she has a "mental illness" or "childhood trauma" and thats why
then proceeded to say that If i didnt sh!t talk her we would never be arguing

what a narcissis-t...

ugh yeah..

honestly i hate these stupid arguments..

@m3dicat0n

but thanks for being here and listening, I really appriciate it
im just stressed out :(..

@m3dicati0n also- sorry for ranting so much :sob:

im literally getting lightheaded..

@m3dicati0n

thats so real, i love when ppl vent to me, bc i never care how much they vent and it distracts me from my own issues.. like girl, if u want comfort im here
not to boast but i give great advice, i just never use my own advice :skull: ever

i already took a shower, drank water, ate some chocolates
tbh ima go play video games
thanks for the suggestions though <3

@m3dicati0n
umm this is gonna sound insane but i really need kissing advice :skull: :skull: umm

@m3dicati0n I WAS JOKING LMAOOOO

@m3dicati0n YOU THOUGHT I WAS SERIOUS IM DYING

@TH4N0S-230 LMAO THATS HILARIOUS THAT WOULD BE SO AKWARD ASKING FOR ADVICE LIKE WHAT

i feel so lonely..

@TH4N0S-230 u and me both :(

@TH4N0s-230 REAL LMAO :sob:

i have my depression to keep me company everywhere i go :)

@Th4n0s-230 ik :broken_heart:

@TH4N0S-230

can i vent...?

@TH4N0S-230

ty your so sweet <3/p

lately... i've been getting flashbacks to something I did "wrong" something that honestly wasn't even my fault
yet i downgrade myself, i try to k!ll myself, I lay there and think what the h3ll is wrong with me why cant I just listen? why cant i be trusted? why do i do this to myself? i ruined my entire teenage years all over something i did, something i decided to believe in
and all this has made me feel completely, utterly useless
i could be the sweetest person but everything comes back on me like i did something wrong, i give someone a compliment, in return i get called ugly. I tell someone im sorry and to forgive me, they push me down and tell me im not worth forgiving.

so everyday i spiral in this deep self hatred
i suffer, cry, feel sorry for myself
i fake my smile, my laugh, my confidence
to everyone i look so happy, and innocent
but im overthinking every little thing, im crying when no ones looking, im going through this all with a mask on and telling people im okay when i know damn well im not
im jealous of everyone else, who still seem to smile
and who can do what they want
im trapped, its so unfair

heck, i hide away whenever i get the chance
and cry and cry and cry
and then i stop hiding and put a smile on my face
like nothing ever happened.
its fu-cking pitiful, the fact showing emotion is a sin to me
if my parents didnt suck at being parents then maybe I would tell them whats wrong. But instead i keep emotions bottled up until i have a mental breakdown all by myself.

i know things I love about myself i just cant seem to love myself enough

my life choices irritate me..

@th4n0s-230

i forgot to tag help

theres a song u should listen to its called hear me out by maggie lindemann
i bet you'll relate to it
i relate to every word

@DALG0NA_C00KIE

can i please vent to u..