@O_Choccy_Milk im worried that my irl bestie is drifting away.. she tells me nothings changed but then when i sit next to her she always faces away from me and talks to this other girl, i sit next to her to get away from someone else and to have a friend, but i get ignored.. if the other girl stands and wlks to another place she follows. every time.. even if we were actually talking and kin stands up and walks away wither bestie she'll follow. im worried im being over the top abt this to, or--

obsessive.. or to clingy..

every weekend shes busy, ive talked to her, but she says everything is fine and nothing has changed and im her best friend.. kin doesnt even really like her, shes told me. but reece tells kin a **** ton of sht shes never told me.. i fell like she doesnt feel comfy round me.
and all this is my fault.. im not social anymore, my mental health is declining, and when we were little i tried to push her away to be cool. when the rumor of her being gay went around i didnt--

defend her. shes been defending me when the same thing happen to me. telling people im not actually gay just cause im friendly with a gay. i feel like a sht person, and i feel obsessive. she has no clue i was pushing her awy and i hate it and isk how to bring it up and tell her.
i just want my irl bestie back. like when when we were in elementary. when we were inseparable.
i saw my cousin last weekend, as you know, and i saw her with her best friend, and it reminded me of my 6 and 7th grade-

us... i miss it yk?

im sorry for ranting girl.. i just GAHHH-

i dont wanna say this but i think i do.. i think i hate myself.. idk what to do..

@O_Choccy_Milk you a$$ /nsrs

you made me cry
ty

one big thing im worried about and that i cant get out of my head is (idk if i said this but) the same thing happened to her, there were rumors that she was gay and i didnt stand up for her cause i didnt wanna loose the people i thought i needed.. shes stood up for me and hasnt given a sht this whole time
i need to tell her and im scared.. i might tll her today if i can.. im scared. shes been the best friend i could have asked for the past 4--

years, you to ily/p, but stupid me pushed her away to be cool to others, to be friends with others, i didnt stand up for her.. and then my turn comes along and she stands behind me all the way-

also why its such a bg deal here is cause everyone is religious and mostly mormon. and a small class so people are worried, oh im changing in the locker room with a gay, theyre gonna stare at me.

@O_Choccy_Milk you made me cry then laugh XDDD

ill tell her.
its just were all so close but at the same time not comfy w/ each other.

@O_Choccy_Milk i planing on it today but i couldnt go to her house today so

im so fcking scarwd girl-

ilysm too <3/p