real

imma go knock myself to bed now it's literally 1:48am here what am i doing xpppp

@Papercuts ***
you really enjoy music?

*o.ng

@_tjz_ yes omg

ODETARI

@Nyghtmareish honestly.

dude, their songs actually gets me hyped while listening to em. like, their SO GOOD!! their vocals, first of all, is really nice. but also, do they make their own beats? if so, guys a genius, fr. the production is SO energetic and vibes in all the right places! and got the vocals to compliment it! dude, this guy's good!

@_tjz_

mhm mhm

oh, i forgot bout makina here. makina's also a really good genre

@JinXxDoeSsArTt hey, welcome back! and thnks :)

@JinXxDoeSsArTt not until now, really, but yea that's nice lol

@JinXxDoeSsArTt anyways, how has your day been?

@JinXxDoeSsArTt well that's good enough

@JinXxDoeSsArTt stressed, but i'm okay

@JinXxDoeSsArTt eh. just tough times attempting to be that *********** friend to one of mines who's pretty far into a whole and my mental and rationality can only bear so much which makes me doubt myself of being a helpful friend or even decent.

but i'm just tryna chill now. it's all fine. you're good. i wouldn't really mind talking bout it, tho. i've been talked to a coupe of my other friends bout the situation. but honestly, being in that moment made me felt a bit deranged. i can't even lie.

************

*ther.a.peu.tic

DAM N XPPP

@JinXxDoeSsArTt yea. true all of that. i do hope they can seek actual help. very much needed

also, i honestly kinda wanna tell them how i'm feeling about all of it cuz it's just so much goimg on that i can handle. i don't want it to be represented as guilt-tripping or any of the sorts cuz that's a bad trait in any relationships. but still it just hasn't been so easy for me. especially with my mentality. hopefully we both could get at least something outta it

@JinXxDoeSsArTt yea. fasho. i've heard that phrase quite a bit. and it is true. and honestly, i don't wanna be stressing about the guy all the time and just enjoy stuff outside of it. that's prolly one of the reasons why i don't really talk to them so much. may share a couple of projects n stuff to each sometimes, but not much actual communication. but i still did want to check on them every once in a while. and honestly, idt the state had gotten any better

@JinXxDoeSsArTt right right. guess things can't always work out like you want it to. and sometimes, even if it may hurt, you might have to take a step forward and do something about it. not with too much resentment or anything, but just comfortable enough to understand

@JinXxDoeSsArTt yea. but really, i genuinely do hope they'll be doing fine soon. and also that i cn regain my sanity back as well. it'd be nice if we can talk in a more stable manner again

@JinXxDoeSsArTt hopefully.

@JinXxDoeSsArTt i don't wanna act so naive - like, i know this world can be trash - but i'd just like to have some things worked out well in the end. there's already been tons of cr*ppy stuff especially since *****. and honestly, i still look forward and strive to see at least one thing that is even remotely good

*the bat flu

okay, the censoring of that 2020 sickness really is no joke lmao ion blame em a single bit

but yea, i just like for some things to turn out for the best, even if that'll be in a year or a decade or longer if we'll still even be alive then. i just wanna live to see if anything's somewhat good is going to be upon us

@JinXxDoeSsArTt for sure for sure

right. i may be rather bit dead inside, but i still have some type of ledge to grab hold on

but for now, it's just time to endure the roughness of what's ahead of us for now. hopefully it'll all be temporary, tho. just like my mom said

@JinXxDoeSsArTt honestly, i'm not really religious at the slightest, but i do get the picture that you have presented. it's happy endings and good fortune that we're talking about. so yea, i really do get it, and that's nice

@JinXxDoeSsArTt oh, yea! that'd actually be really nice! ay, i've even tagged you in a painting that talked about seeing our friends on here irl. you was featured in my list. obv

@JinXxDoeSsArTt i might a bit of a nihilist. you might know what i think about those typa stuff xpp so sorry

but yea, that's nice! you really do be nice and friendly and caring of others

@JinXxDoeSsArTt i mean, not all the time. it is good to take breaks and focus on your own likes for a bit every once in while. but i do like that you like to be around for your friends :]

also, nihilism is basically just having no spiritual nor religional beliefs and think that everything'll just pretty much stop once we die. life's life, and there's just one

but i don't wanna be that dark, edgy nihilist. i just wanna be a more ehm.... happier one, i guess that's one way of putting it

@JinXxDoeSsArTt yea. and honestly, i don't wamt you to worry about what'll happen. it is kinda terrifying. but ay, at least i feel somewhat comfortable (maybe not the best word to use but i think it drags the point across anyways) with that idea cuz i don't really be messing with all the afterlife stuff n all. no offense whatsoever

but still. there's just various different types of concepts that still scares me @~@

but imma just cut it off there b4 anything unpure thoughts slip out

@JinXxDoeSsArTt also, at least a couple of hours. you really do need some breaks sometimes here and there

@JinXxDoeSsArTt yea. death is inevitable, so we'll know eventually

also, an hour will do

@JinXxDoeSsArTt fair enough lol at least you taking care of yourself for a bit