:000
AMAZING

@_-Just-Human-_
Hevhehvqrvwrv ty ^^

NP :0000
87c*bvk^ td(7

:/o

>CSKWSDDMDKDJJSJS AMAZED THAT YOU DREW THIS WHILE HAVING PIZZA-

is your hands greasy while drawing this?

@CrYsTaL_CaT
it was just a little doodle, nothing special.
and yes my hands were greasy -_-

Anna please. I'm begging you. I hope you're still here.

@Newt_Soup
cutt1ng is fun :)

@Anxious_Muffin mmm. please don't do too much.

@Newt_Soup
already did, its all over my body now, and next is to go to my abusive aunts house so she k1lls me :)

@Newt_Soup
im tired of living..

@Anxious_Muffin oh luv. i wish you could see how much eveyone needs you.

@Newt_Soup
nobody "needs" me, how do you "need" me to survive?

@Anxious_Muffin you make my days so much better. talking to you helps me when i'm having a rough time. there's so many other reasons, but we'd probably be here all day

@Newt_Soup
yeah right. you know theres other ppl that make you feel even happier -_- dude just give up
you dont need me

@Anxious_Muffin how about you give up trying to make me think i don't need you, or that you have no purpose. and, no, i don't have any other friends like you

@Newt_Soup
stop telling lies to my face...YOU DONT NEED MEEE END OF STORYYY

@Anxious_Muffin im not telling you lies, nor am i telling them to your face. we've never met irl, remember?

@Newt_Soup
well then its false. you dont "need" me to survive. i am nothing but an assistant to help you feel happy :)

@Anxious_Muffin thats so far from the truth. i enjoy talking to you, i enjoy helping you above all things. thats basically what i live for now, helping people as much as possible.

@Newt_Soup
well then go help someone else

@Anxious_Muffin i know no one else that needs help atm. you're my top priority now

@Newt_Soup
go see if other ppl are okay though, i do not like myself at the moment.

@Anxious_Muffin doesnt matter what you feel about yourself, wont change the fact that i'm worried about/for you.

@Newt_Soup
well u have better things to do than constantly worry abt me, go do something else.

@Anxious_Muffin actually i have no life. you're very important to me and i need to know you're still here, at the very least.

@Newt_Soup
we barely know each other.

@Anxious_Muffin and yet i care about you

i'm a very loving person, believe it or not.

@Newt_Soup
i can tell....well still, STOP worrying abt me.

@Anxious_Muffin you're probably learning this the hard way, but that's not gonna work luv :D

@Newt_Soup
please stop..

stop what? be specific please. not trying to be rude.

@Newt_Soup
stop worrying! please!!!

i'd try my best, but believe me it wont work. i can try but will still care about you.

@Newt_Soup
JUST STOP CARING ABT MEE!!!!

i can't.

@Newt_Soup
why not

@Anxious_Muffin because when i was in my lowest low God didn't give up on me. He saved me from myself. i want to show the love He gives me to anyone and everyone possible. i want to help save YOU from yourself. hate me if you want for this response, but it's the truth and nothing but.

@Newt_Soup
well i dont want to be saved from anything.

@Anxious_Muffin sometimes when you're in this mindset it doesn't matter what you'd like. you're being irrational. i'm here to be the reasinoning and rational side for you.

@Newt_Soup
this isnt a mindset, this is my life.

it's a mindset. were you born thinking like this? i very much highly doubt it (my grammar doesn't exist).

@Newt_Soup
well i grew up this way >:^

i'm sorry about whatever happened in your childhood to make you feel this way. whoever hurt you, you absolutely didn't deserve any of it

@Newt_Soup
i deserve all of the pain now! :) ive cheated on som1 twice

nothing that can't be forgiven

@Newt_Soup
well--that was after that person cheated on me three times and used me :) and broke my heart for som1 else several times--

well then they deserved it? what you did sounds like nothing compared to all the sh1t i did

@Newt_Soup
eh well whatever...i still feel awful and disgusting for doing that though..

hey, dwelling on the past won't do anything for you. people can forgive, yk? forgiveness takes time though, so if they haven't forgave you, just know people respond to things differently. you know who always forgives, no matter what you've done? God.
I dont give up on trying to tell people about God- if you couldn't tell. tell me if you're tired of it or anything.

@Newt_Soup
i love to look at my past, to see what a horrible person ive become :)

you're not a terrible person, no matter what you think. at least you don't have multiple charges for stealing drxgs, drxg abuse, underage drinking/getting some1 18+ to steal alcohol for you, etc. nothing can not be forgiven. what you've done/do doesn't make you a terrible person

@Newt_Soup
well they tell me i am.

who cares what they think? only matters what God thinks about you. And He thinks you're perfect. He made you perfect, made in His very own image.

@Newt_Soup
well imma ask him for a refund...life isnt what i asked for, so ill just send myself back..

that's not how it works. He has a huge purpose for you. and kys is not part of it.

sometimes you get things you don't want

@Newt_Soup
so u throw the stuff u dont want to the side! like my life :]

no. you have to work with the things you don't want.

@Newt_Soup
well u can, but i wont.

i will admit i'm not the best at it. we could work on it together? i've been pretty depressed lately too, feeling the same you do. everythinh just falls apart. i'm not alone, i know that much. you're not alone either. ik thats a generic saying, but i really mean it. sorry for talking about my s h1t, got carried away.

@Newt_Soup
well im not working on my mentalness :) i. dont. care.

fine then just suffer with me bc i'm not working on mine either.

@Newt_Soup
well u actually have som1 to talk to, and u get to communicate with ur gf, u have ppl that actually help u with ur mental health.

no one helps me with mine. i'm usually pretty closed off, and hide my emotions. i'm talking to you rn aren't i? at least i'm talking with you, and i'm pretty sure i'm a someone.

@Newt_Soup
what abt ur gf?? she should help a lot, right :(

@Anxious_Muffin i dont tell her abt how i'm feeling. she's dealing with enough rn she doesn't need to know abt my stupid life. and you don't to know abt it rn either, i'm here to talk about you, not myself.

@Newt_Soup
thats unfortunate....i hope things clear up between u two..also i wanna talk abt u instead

nothing going on between us, i just dont need her worrying abt me when shes already going through some crazy shxt herself. i don't want to talk abt me.

wait if we talk abt what you want can you promise me you'll still be here tomorrow?

i'm pulling at straws at this point.

@Newt_Soup
idk, maybe i will, maybe i wont

well then sorry, but we're still gonna be talkin abt you. i can't lose you.

@Newt_Soup
no..ur turn

no thanks luv [:

@Newt_Soup
nooo dont u "luv" me >:^ ur turnn

i'll "luv" you all i want. it's not my turn, i don't talk abt me [:

@Newt_Soup
well no more "luv" how was ur day?

mmmm. it sucked aś$.

@Newt_Soup
[like me >:)]
well, whats ur fav color

idk, cant think much rn

oh, one is dark red ithink

@Newt_Soup
well--what exactly CAN u think abt rn?

uhm. this whiskey is ******, that's all i'vegot. also thinkin abt what my mum said today, couldnt get it out of my head

oops. k1ller*

@Newt_Soup
stop drinkinggg its bad for uuu
what did she say?

not stoppin. she told me i was thr most worthless scum that it was everr her displeasure to meet. tld me i was a r3tarded piece of sht. shes not exavtly wrong

@Newt_Soup
she is wrong >:^ ur the best

huh.

been botherin u all day anf u still care? don't get it.

@Newt_Soup
thats bc ur drinking hun.

i dont think im the best, im a low down stupid little ***** who drinks bc i got nothin good goin on in my life. drinkin and sh. all i do nowadays

@Newt_Soup
but u gots a lover, u can spend so much time together, stuf like that, id k1ll to be u (literally)

never seen her irl. shes not on mmuhc. and when we talk it feels like thesame convo repeatingh itself

u got friends yk

@Newt_Soup
dayum--that was kinda rude :<

srry didnt mean anything by it. what did i say?

@Newt_Soup
nothing--just u talkin bout ur gf--it was a lil mean-

oh. its not her fault. i suck at conversations. shes a lovely person andm very good to talk to. didnt mean to disrespect herr in anyway

@Newt_Soup
oh dude stop drinking. ur typing is telling me that ur having too much-

mm itss not that much

@Newt_Soup
stop.. pleaseee

just lets just talk abt smethin else

@Newt_Soup
no >:^ now IM worried abt u >:((

why so!

?**

@Newt_Soup
bc alcoh0l can do bad things to ur brain :<

oh yeah but its thstd ok

@Newt_Soup
okay stop drinking pleaseee....itd help me out--

its gone anywyas so i got no chioce

@Newt_Soup
thank god..

what for? whyy do u mind it it if i sttop,?

@Newt_Soup
it damages ur brain

hm been doinng this foryears, brain ss already damaaged sinece birth

@Newt_Soup
i mean same :^

my brain dumb

twins

im autistiic tho so i im, actualy prtty dumb ngl

@Newt_Soup
oml same--i also have dim3ntia :>

*dementia, however u say it

hm. nver wouukd iknow if u didnt say'

@Newt_Soup
yeah...im fxcked up :)

yea same

@Newt_Soup
twinning :>

mhm

but uur cooland i talkinn to you is fun. nobody,im not cool

@Newt_Soup
nonono ur fun to talk to too :(

and ur cool

nah

you still with me?

i assume youre tired of me?

well. i'm here if you need me.

@Newt_Soup
......

um,, sorry? idk what i said but i'm sorry

sorry for dumping all my problems and sh1t on you last night when I was drunk. I still have a hangover and massive migraine but nothing I can't handle. How are you feeling, if you don't mind me asking..?

@Newt_Soup
ur making me worry more and more abt your well being.

oh. I'm fine luv, don't worry about me. I'm too busy worrying about my gf rn to think about my mental shxt.

@Newt_Soup
:( alr
btw, im poly now :)

oh, nice [:
I never knew what I was and still don't know.

@Newt_Soup
pan...?

Possibly

@Newt_Soup
:/

my mum made me put makeup on and wear smth ugly and girly bc she doesn't want people to know I'm trans >>:[

Also, I have a random silly question, how old do you think I am? Just curious bc I feel like I act like a ten year old.

@Newt_Soup
idk, 15-16?

yeah, 16, going on 17

@Newt_Soup
yeaaa i guessed righttt >:D

@Newt_Soup
what happened to ur gf..?

idk.

really fxcking worried abt her though. haven't been able to think strait bc of it. I hope to God she's alright.

@Newt_Soup
:{ thats no good at all

yeah. I haven't talked to her since like 2 pm yesterday.

@Newt_Soup
aw :(

have you eaten today?

@Newt_Soup
nu :> nor will i

welp, I wasnt plannin on it either

@Newt_Soup
u eat. nows >:^

nah, i'll throw up if i do

@Newt_Soup
well youll d1e if u dont >:^

no its only been one day. you'll die if u dont.

@Newt_Soup
its only been 2 days for me, ill be fine

Mmm.

@Newt_Soup
:,)

Whatm would you like to talk abt? You're probably tired of me bothering you about your mental health. Although I wish you'd listen.

@Newt_Soup
im going into therapy :,/

next week

@Anxious_Muffin best of luck, I hope it goes well. Therapy is hard, but can help sometimes.

@Newt_Soup
yeah :,/

How are you feeling? You don't have to answer if you don't want.

@Newt_Soup
unwanted :)

Oh. Well, you're very wanted. I know you won't listen, but it's true.

@Newt_Soup
well whatever. wbu??

wdym?

@Newt_Soup
HOW R UUU

oh- I'm fine. sorry for not understanding, my brain's not working today

@Newt_Soup
prob bc u have a hang0ver..stop dr1nkin

My hangovers only last 1-2 days, I don't rlly have one now. I only drink once in a while anywy

@Newt_Soup
>:^

:/

@Newt_Soup
no more drinking >:(

'k mUm >:|

@Newt_Soup
i am ur mum but nicer at least >:^ ur real mom is a bxtch

true :skull:

@Newt_Soup
ill just adopt u tbh

alr i'm all for that

@Newt_Soup
i rlly wish i could ngl--
me as ur mum: "UR TRANS?! OMG IM SO PROUD OF U FOR TELLING ME!"
lmao--id be a great mom XD

That kind of reaction would be so,, validating- i think that's the word i'm looking for

you would be a very great mum

@Newt_Soup
thx TvT also if i was ur mum, id say that >:)

i'd prbly cry [':

@Newt_Soup
aw they bettr be happy tears mister >:)

they aree

@Newt_Soup
aw yay ^^ ((also im back and im not afraid of rollercoasters anymore ^^))

nice! I've been to dollywood a lot, my favourite roller coaster is the eagle or smth like that, what was yours? :0

@Newt_Soup
the dragon flyer >:) it really crazy

yeahh, that one's cool

@Newt_Soup
yaayaaaaa >:D