Hi, my week was okay, my dad threatened to drown himself twice last week in an argument, once because my mom said he needs to take responsibility for his actions, then she took it back, and then again he said he would if they didn't solve their problem in a week, that they haven't solved in years because they can't even apply their own advice. He looked gleeful and a smile stretched across his face when my mom said she was worried about what he said. That's unacceptable. Absolutely unacceptable. I know if I say that I'll be berated all day.

I hope they break up because it's obvious they bond through trama and fights, and I cringe.

I know how sick and twisted their souls are connected and they need to break it.

I like existing but why did they think it was a good idea to have kids, in their first year of knowing each other? Are they stupid? Blinded by """Love"""? I and my sister was like retail therapy to them, but with human babies. It didn't last long and they betrayed our trust.

I'm so sorry Soupi..... I really hope things can either change or get better for you and your sister....

I'm sorry you and your sister have to go through this : (
I do hope it gets better.

@Alexa_Bella
I guess my point is was that my dad never meant it. When he said it he didn't mean it and it's really extremely not okay to threaten s**s*de to get his own way, it's also obvious by the look on his face when he says it he's enjoying it. I definetly saw glee. He likes making people worry about him because it gives him some of their soul to feed on.

^ Sorry if that comment sounded angry, I didn't mean that

@InkDrawz @Angel_
Thank you.
I do think (and desperately hope) that it will get better.
I also hope that stuff gets better for my parents too, I have a lot of anger towards them but I also forgive them. I certainly don't want to paint them as evil, I only really post about them here to relieve my stress and anger because I think I'd blow up otherwise.

But yeah, a big argument happened last week because my sister came in the room my parents were in to ask for something and she looked at my dad wrong. And he wants to say it's her fault and she started it and doesn't want to admit he just blew up. Later they brought me in to rant at me about how evil and malicious my sister is for 8 plus hours then talk about politics for some reason?

Yeah, another argument is happening right now and I locked myself in my room.
I pray that they don't ask me down to rant at me for 8 plus hours again. I can't take it this time.

I hope this family falls apart. I hope my dad gets a non-life threataning health problem that requires him to go to the hospital, so I can get a break for ONCE.

MY PARENTS NEVER WENT OUT ON THEIR OWN, THEY ALWAYS TOOK US WITH THEM, I WISH THEY GOT LIKE A BABYSITTER OR SOMETHING AND LEFT US ALONE MORE, ONLY ONE DAY OUT OF MY ENTIRE CHILDHOOD DID THEY LEAVE US IN THE HOUSE ALONE AND I CHERISH THAT DAY.

It's funny how they have the audacity to say we're spoiled, how is screaming at the top of your lungs with rage and threatening death and violence level of arguments almost weekly throughout my EARLY childhood spoiled? I thought you were going to kill us one day for no reason, I had to brainstorm about what I'd do if I started getting hurt by you, I was 7.
I brainstormed how to run away.

There were no house rules and they changed to whatever he felt like punishing us for. I lived in fear of being punished for some random rule he implemented that second because you wanted to yell.

*he

I used to be a terrible person but no, I wasn't punished for that, I was punished for the wall paint flaking off onto the rug and him thinking that it was paper I dropped. He got me to go on my hands and knees and got me to pick it up while he berated me.
He got me to do 20 lines for tidying up.
Why didn't he punish me for doing things that deserve punishment? Like causing life to be hard for my sister?
No, instead he got me to pick bits off of the floor on my hands and knees and wouldn't let me vaccum, while looking at me with this face, as if he dominated me and had a power high.
To him being a dad is being the big strong dominant altha male man and everyone kisses his feet because he's a super hero and extra macho dominant. No, you do things for a child. Not the opposite way around. I actually half believe he expected us to be his counciler when we were kids. He certainly pushed that on me later. Life sucks. But it's okay, I've learnt to not care about my own needs.

I'm a better dad to myself and I'm not even a guy.
heck,
the mask or bear in this drawing is a better dad and it's a drawing.

you make me feel real

I am ashamed that I am related to them. How are they related to me at all?
I was never taught good morals or to be healthy, they just told me to do what makes me feel good and don't care about consequences or social consequences, because everyone is stupid, and imo that's where they fail as parents. They're basically encouraging addiction and have been encouraging me to hate everyone before I even know them and use slurs because "we have freedom of speech."
They said they posted blogs with discusting anti-semetism saying how they should kill Jewish people and H*tler was right, and they laugh at it. Do you know why? Because apparently the laws in England say it's illegal to have hate speech and want to annoy people and the police.

i'm trying not to go into therâpist mode here so apologies if i overstep. it really sucks that you are going through that because of their problems. Being involved in and witness to this degree of emotional manipulation an unhealthy transaction could make anyone want to close off from the world and even to themselves. Resilience can come at the expense of allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. It's hard not to be effected so it's important to work through these feelings. Vulnerability is needed.

@HammerdStardust
Ty (((:
even know I'm just ranting, because I'm going insane.
Their souls are black as tar, and smell like a burnt sewer.
I'd be scared if I had the ability to smell their soul and spirit.

Thank you for the nutella bar btw

I do, I only talked to them because I thought it was ok, they've driven away every decent person in their lives because nobody wants anything to do with them.
Dad has basically ruined mum and turned her into a copy of himself, I think there was a recent season of South Park where Cartman did this exact thing to a girl named Heidi.

i know you don't know me but i'm proud of you for sharing this.

@RoseSoup
Yeah, that's true. It's easy to close off completely and put up huge walls but I like venting here because almost nobody uses this site lol

@RoseSoup
Aww tysm (:

this resolve is somethinb thats rare to see in you.

@Hammerdstardust

well, I'm glad one show is talking about it, even if some people don't get it.

Come to think of it, mom and dad are like those people in that video you sent me, they don't get dark humor, they just laugh because minority people are dead or something.

@Hamnerdstardust
They find the image of H*tler hilarious because it will offend some people. They find minorities funny because they wear funny clothes or something.

They really are trying to be like edgy tweens, huh. Think they made a statement by saying stuff nobody really cares about the minute they realise they're just doing it for attention and to drive people away from them.

I feel as if that video I sent you helped you find your voice somehow.
I know it inspired me.

"Funny clothes" as in transgender women and probably any race that wears any traditional clothing from their culture because yeah.

"Haha how funni and entertaining, look they are wearing makeup"
Pretty sure they even laugh at cis women being too feminine or masculine, women only are acceptable to them if they look extremely normal or look like they're from the 70's
mom even said Ripley from alien looks like a man bc she's taller than average lmao

I was always terrified of mum or dad finding all the gay stuff I drew for this reason, really, because as a cis straight woman, I wouldn't know how to explain it.
It eventually lead to a lot of my fears.

lmao I couldn't even enjoy movies bc they'd make fa rt sounds in emotional moments or pretend to vomit bc ofc they can't accept vulnerability or be sentimental about anything, let alone in real life. All their joy came from surface level jokes like ha ha poopy, there was no room to be serious about anything unless they were screaming

no wonder im so akward about taking anything seriously

I was questioning a lot aroubd that time, and I always felt like it was dangerous

I couldn't even talk about being sad, they said I could talk to them about stuff but when I did, dad just shut me down by saying "No you're a happy-go-lucky person". What does happy-go-lucky even mean? So yeah knowing I'd be shut down spiraled into what I think was depression because I was knocked down when I was already low.

Part of my brain tries to make me think it's not all that bad until I remember everything, I can't even write down all that they did wrong in one day, I'm always discovering what feels like 10-20 new things that makes me concerned about what the heck they were thinking when they raised us, every time I think about it.

Mum and dad are trying to discourage me from getting professional help for the problems they've caused........

That's just plain evil.
Dad wants me to be stuck, just like mum.

ACTUAL FRICK
I THINK HES GOING TO CALL ME DOWN AGAIN

I think

@Hammerdstardust

RLLY
Oh my GIDEONS
FRICKONG
FRICK
AA

noooooooo

@HammerdStardust
They've always said we could choose what we want to do and be and all of that
imo I think it's an illusion and a big fat lie.

I said I wanted to try out school for the last few years so getting GCSEs wont be as hard and because I was desperate for socialisation

They said they'd let me if I asked before

but instead,
berated me, said I'd be bullied by everyone and groped by boys

mom said I couldn't go outside to the corner shop or the town on my own at 15 because she said boys would ask me out or grope me because she think im pretty

I actually want to die if they ask me to discuss with them (Rant at me more like)

Years from now after I die I'm going to ask for a tally of the total time spent with them ranting at me, I think it's well over 24 hours if it's generally 8 hours at a time

Tbh I've always been fascinated by total time in my life spent on something lol

I wonder how long I've been brushing my teeth for in total

or drawing

why does dad compare himself to the average person and say they're all like him and if you don't like him, nobody will like you because he is like everyone.

if that was so, the world would be chaos.

I would gladly dissapear from a world like that

bruh he said if you got help the phycaiatrist would laugh at you bc you'd be going in saying "my dad told me off"

hilarious, I think he actually doesn't want you to go because he think it will 'tarnish' his name
bc he hates it when strangers he'll never meet ever think he's not nice

im going to stop bc I'll be going on forever otherwise

I have a request: can you please not delete anything here, it helps me because someone actually acknowledges what I've been through and doesn't undermine

I'm very affected by gaslighting

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I honestly hate people like that. Fun fack, if they want to act as if ****** was right, send them to Asia, he's not viewed as 'evil' there

@Zombiedude12524
I just imagined sending my parents by mail to Asia by somehow putting them in a evelope, lol.

@HammerdStardust
I was going to delete this, but okay

Well, that's a way to do it. repurpose some refrigerator box, maybe an envelope made from wrapping paper and maybe cardstock

@Zombiedude12524
Well, our refrigerator recently broke so