@BLuE666 Lol just let me know :sparkles:

@BLuE666 Bro, my brother sneaked downstairs last night to get some "water", and opened the fcking front door for a package, which caused our mum to wake up... why tf was he getting a package- how did he know???

Can I just say, my brother is an absolute moron? he doesn't even know HOW TO GET OUTSIDE WITHOUT WAKING THE HOUSE!!! :sob:

Like, I went outside when everyone was asleep a few times, but I didn't get caught ONCE. He's a fcking idiot for the love god... :skull:

@Bloopy_Doop
naur :skull:

bro just has that package sense
he needed to get it
for he is Package Man
:skull:

@BLuE666 Bro, there was packages one night when everyone was asleep, and I woke NO ONE. I swear, He's gonna absolutely screw me over at some point with his moron desieses

@Nutty_Oaks lmfao :sob:
dude I panicked i thought u fcking poofed-
just changed ur user my god bro :sob:

@Nutty_Oaks also... hey
is there any point to me being on here anymore?
like does anybody still care?
because all I can even do is comment on things and I feel like that's not enough

I also feel like the new friends I've made don't care about me either
sure, they're "nice"... but they don't care
even my actual friends I feel like they don't care

does anybody care, anymore?

@BLuE666 Jesus christ bro, everyone's been freaking out over my new user name :sob:

@BLuE666 Dude, I think the people understand your situation. People can't always control their lives, so we all got to accommodate to what artist have.

Have you not seen people go on hiatus before? It's a thing, and it can last for a lil bit to years.

Hell, people who have been gone forever on stuff still get greated back

@BLuE666
(I am not the person to be saying this, but I'm self aware to understand)
Friends are finicky to even understand in the first place. With this kinda stuff, you have to think if they got an issue or you. If you just met them, maybe you should try to get to know em more. If they aren't paying to much attention to you, try having a conversation.. I don't really know how to do IRL friends man, sorry

@BLuE666 Honestly though, you commenting on something, can sometimes just be the best thing.
It shows you are still dedicated, and the people who care, I'm sure as hell appericiate it (I know I do...)

Look, theres really nothing you can do right now, okay?
I think the best thing, is to put in your bio you are on hiatus, and you can rarely comment, okie dokie?

I'm sure things will work out, and I'm sure others will be excited for your return :}

@Nutty_Oaks thank you
that makes me feel better
and you're right, I did just kinda meet them
but SERIOUSLY though whenever I reach out they never reply back-
and ik they got their own sht but like CMON MAN :sob:

sjshadb yeah :sob:

@Nutty_Oaks and you do have a point about like the hiatus thing

when I return it shall be great!!

ALSO I MY BIRTHDAY IS THIS FRIDAYYYYYYYYYYYY
imma be 15 soon rahhhhh >:DDD

@BLuE666 Thats kinda the thing with new friends man. You ether connect right away, or it takes time.

I'm sure ya'll will be good friends hopefully, just gotta take it easy for now ^^

@Nutty_Oaks also do you not go by Lucas anymore-?
should I be calling you Oakley now lol?

@BLuE666 Yeah, Oakley is my name now... I think.
I've been struggling with figuring out a name for myself, so please don't be surprised if I change it again :skull:
I will update my bio if so.. :sweat_smile:

@Nutty_Oaks uh.. no reason :sob:
ok oakley it is :3
man no idea
my mom has been sick for a wwwhiiileeeeee
and not only that we also gotta do stuffs for my sister :sob:

@BLuE666 (deleting messages casually) Mhm, alright then... :laughing:

@Nutty_Oaks my mom is not gonna let me drive :skull:
she says shes gonna help me find a job tho

@BLuE666 Damn, that sucks :sob:
Well, hopefully you are able to still have a good day regardless :}

@Nutty_Oaks :skull:

@BLuE666 Theres that I guess. My parents are hoping I ask to drive, but ngl, I'm way to freaking anxious for that

I'd rather a motercicle- :skull:

@BLuE666 Wait, how tf you on? Are you hidin' in the bathroom or sumthn?

@Nutty_Oaks hopefully :skull:
i just want a cake
and also in game currency-

@BLuE666 Yeah, that should still be a decent day! Hope the cake tastes good

@Nutty_Oaks thanks

so whats going on with you lately?

@Nutty_Oaks LOL no-
i mean i could be-
but my moms sick so I'm sneaking on via computer

@BLuE666 Just, laying in bed most of my days, trying to read a book...
Nothing really new. I had to hang around children, my intrusive thoughts didn't like that. Went as a One Piece character the other day for trunk or treating, so that was fun-ish...

We are getting a new copy of wind waker for the game cube, so I'm excited for that, I think

What about you dude?

@BLuE666 Oh okay. Just be careful though, make sure to delete the Colors website tag and history for in on the computer. Don't need your mom yellin' at cha.. :skull:

@Nutty_Oaks sounds cool
idek if imma do anything for Halloween this year tbh
didn't do nothing last year :/
whats wind waker?

@Nutty_Oaks my mom doesn't check my history so I'm good there-

also I cant delete my history so :skull:

@BLuE666 Damn :/
Well, should be fun seeing peoples costumes on the street, I guess

The Legend of Zelda, Wind Waker.
It's a place that takes place in the bad timeline after OoT (I think)
Basically, you go around in a floded Hylia as a pirate, saling around to do stuff, I dunno, haven't played yet-

@BLuE666 How can't anyone delete stuff off their history :sob:
Your like, the second person I've talked to on here who can't-
Not that it's a bad thing though. At least she doesn't check... yet

@Nutty_Oaks ah ok
idk any zelda lore so :skull:
i cant bc this is a school Chromebook lol

@BLuE666 I dunno stuff about school chrome book, but alrighty :thumbsup:

Yeah, thats fine. It's just another Zelda game, no worries :relieved:

@Nutty_Oaks a lot of stuff is blocked..
the settings n stuff...

@BLuE666 Damn, thats kinda sucky :skull:

@BLuE666 Dude, last night I was playing the Sims (Which I haven't touched since May) and I wanted to restart it (sorta)
I'm over here, costumizing my character, playing S&M in my headphones, dancing a lil, finally in a good vibe after weeks, THEN MY DAD COMES IN DANCING TOO. THAT SONG WAS LOUD AS FCK IN MY HEADPHONES!!
I was more worried about him hearing that then me dancing on the chair :sob:

Anyway, after like an hour the game wanted to restart my sim, so I went to bed XD

@Nutty_Oaks LMAO :sob:

just the worst jumpscare :skull:

@BLuE666 Really was :skull:

@BLuE666 I JUST GOT A FOLLOW REQUEST FROM SOME RUSSIAN DUDE ON INSTA. :sob:

Man, I'm so ready to open my Insta already... Not that I'll have much to show off, but I think I'll be a little more motivated to draw... :skull:

@Nutty_Oaks PHFT :skull:
honestly ur art is great
and having something to show off is better than nothing

@BLuE666 Dude, my PFP on there is just this angry Chopper (One Piece) I drew too :sob:

But yeah...

@Nutty_Oaks :sob: :skull:
is chopper the dog looking thing..?

just know that if ur popular on here you have a good chance of being popular on insta :)

@BLuE666 Yup! Choppers the dog looking thing :sweat_smile:

@BLuE666 Maybe! I don't want to get my hopes up, you know?
But I will say, I think my art comes out much better on the Ipad, more likely cus I have custom brushes :sparkles:
(Wish one of them had pressure sensitivity like the Sonar pen does :sob:)

@BLuE666 Oh yeah, did I tell you about this one kid?
Same kid that confessed to me a little bit ago. But recently he's asked for my Email (to send an IRL pic of him), Asked for me to be his father, said "Us jkjk" in my newest post. Said "I get all the gay men" after trying to show off his newest painting... it was something suggestive.

I confronted, thought the fight wasn't worth. Probably gonna start ignoring him :/

Anyway, been weird people-
Your birthday just happened, right? You 15 now?

@Nutty_Oaks where does this man live ill kill hi-

ah yes i AMMMM :D

@BLuE666 Lol everybodys been telling me to drop dead with him, but I've known him a few months after you, so rn, I don't wanna seem like the a$$hole rn... I dunno, at some point I'll get the "Fck them all" impulse energy, and it'll all be good :thumbsup:

Happy late birthday man!! How was everything? (I know you said not much was going on, figured I'd ask.. :/)

@BLuE666
*Casually hallucinates my mum screaming for me* :sob:
My mind is getting me scared for no reason istg :skull:

@Nutty_Oaks I got a headset and batteries and a charger for my xbox =DDD

it was good
the only cake I got was a cake pop tho... :skull:
:skull:
gotta love them auditory hallucinations :sob:

Oh cool! :0
Should be fun than :3

Derp :skull:
I mean, as long as the cake pop is good, I ain't complaining..

Dude, not even joking, I my mind hallucinates all kinds of things, I hate it so much (Extra Anxiety for no god damn reason, thank you brain :fairy:)

Didja get anything on your headset?
Also, are you able to get a job now? (I feel I remember you telling me you are able to once you were 15)

@Nutty_Oaks not yet...
moms gotta get a car first :sob:

it was good
very chocolatey.. :3
uhh i mean I have a mic-:sob:

@BLuE666 Derp-
I'm way to stupid, I'm sorry :sob:

@BLuE666 Yum :yum:
Well, didn't sound to bad of a birthday then!
If you didn't have a mental breakdown, call yourself a winner that day cus hell yeah :sunglasses:

@BLuE666 Thinking of getting a job soon, and the pay rate to work at safeway as a cashier is 16.10$-16.20$

...Oh my god, it just occurred to me, I think my parents would want to start grocery shopping there instead of doing pick up... I might cry over that now honestly :'}

(Anyway, hoping my mental state doesn't kick me in the butt when doin' that stuff :/)

@Nutty_Oaks winner winner but no chicken dinner :skull:
like im confused wdym by adding stuff on there :sob:

okay so I told my irl friend abt the youtube I'm crushing on.. (god she wanted to know so bad so I just caved in :sob:)
and she was like "jesus you make my brain hurt :skull:"

@Nutty_Oaks AND ALSO
i didnt get into esports bc I didn't fill out the form :(
BUTTT my moms gonna check out discord anyways so yayy :D

youtuber*

Fr man :skull:

Stuff like- games... my stupid butt, hearing headset, went "Oh, Oculas! :D"
...**** me, please. I'm so tired of myself :skull:

Lol you over talked about it or what the heck is this Youtube like :skull:

@Nutty_Oaks bro, if I was you i'd do it
like just get a job and get the damn money over with :sob:

and it'll be a good way to get out of the house so.. :skull:

@BLuE666 Heck yeah man! Thats cool :}

@BLuE666 I know, but I'm terrified of my mother, so I REALLY don't need that critasm at work, or whatever to happen :skull:
The pay is good, and I'll most likely do it (I just hope they don't ask why an 11 year old is working there-)

@Nutty_Oaks like the type of headset bro what?? :sob:
man idk it was 15 dollars :sob:
so uh.. he's short (5'2) and dating springtrap- :sob:

me and my friend are tall (girl is 5'9-) and shes like "you can do better :skull:"
we just both agree that I have issues :')

And yeah. At home I've been stressed outa my mind, so working there then getting some food for myself, doesn't seem to bad.. :}

Why do I already feel I know who it is :skull:
(I probably don't since the youtuber I'm thinking of, I haven't seen since last year-)

I mean, you do you, just so long as it ain't harmin or annoying others to much

@Nutty_Oaks LMFAO ELP :sob:

imagine :sob:
just... idk
i feel like whatever i say probably wont help in the long run so :sob:
just do ur best and if its too much take a vacay day or quit

@Nutty_Oaks if the guy is named Kwite then yes :sob:
just you knowing who it is makes me go "Oh no... " :sob:

@BLuE666 Quit living, Alrighty-! :P

Lol I'll try. I just gotta wait till I'm 19-20 to move out, then the only stress to deal with is living and my hallucinations of stress <D

@BLuE666 Yeah, I figured it was him :sob:

His youtubes were good, I think. I dunno, he seems chill enough-

@BLuE666
Anyway I took a shower last week and drew a dck in the mirror from the steam... It's still there btw-

@Nutty_Oak what :sob:
why :skull:

oh no :sob: :sob:

@BLuE666 Huh? :sob:

I dunno, context clues. People say I'm kinda good with em (I don't assume though :skull:)

@Nutty_Oaks no I mean why tf did u draw a pen!s on the mirror :skull:

@Nutty_Oaks if we ever meet kwite just keep ur mouth shut :sob:

@BLuE666 Because it's funny :skull:

@BLuE666 Lol what- :sob:

@Nutty_Oaks okay :skull:

you heard me >:(

@BLuE666
Random, but I saw this one reel that involved Rise of the Guardians (movie) And people were talking about how they all loved Jack Frost.
I'm over here like "Who needs twink boi, when childhood favourite has always been Australian Rodent :sunglasses:"
..I was very much a furry back then, lmao

@BLuE666 Due to me having a listining issue, I'm automatically required to say "What", more times than needed *Does a robot dance*

I can't think straight rn :skull:

@Nutty_Oaks that's so valid though :sob:
man I loved the easter bunny
...platonically

@Nutty_Oaks you never thought straight to begin with
dies :sparkles;

Man, I don't understand how others can't, clearly they didn't see anything (Ngl, if I did have a childhood crush in any means, it probably woulda been that fcker, lmao) :sob:

Lol, sure XD

@BLuE666 Haven't been for years :nail_care: :sparkles:
You aren't any better though-

@Nutty_Oaks I mean it :sob:
when i watched that movie I wasn't gay yet :skull:

@Nutty_Oaks you shut it :sob:

simping for hedgehogs is a TOTALLY normal thing!! :point_up:

@BLuE666
"I wasn't gay yet" DIES :sob:
Lol I know what you mean, no worries

@BLuE666 Yeah, in this day n' age it sure is :sob:

@Nutty_Oaks PHFT :sob:

little does past me know...
THEY WAS GAY ZEE WHOLE TIME

@Nutty_Oaks so is simping for a floating hoodie normal also :sob:

@BLuE666 One night, as you were sleeping, the magical gay fairy came by. With a flick of their wand, rainbow skittles entred your body, make you forever gay after that point :fairy:

Too bad he also made you more fluid, but at least you can be any kind of gay you want :D

@BLuE666 My ex-friend simped for a fcking lamp. Yes, thats still normal :skull:

@Nutty_Oaks yes... now whenever i wake up sometimes my arms turn into water :skull:

I almost forgot abt that dude :skull:

yummm I'm filled with red 40 yaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

@BLuE666 *I put you in a bucket, into a mold of yourself, and freeze you* Gah, not again... :skull:

Lol yum :yum:

@Nutty_Oaks :sob:
how big is the freezer and how small is the mold

@BLuE666 :smirk:
The mold IS THE FREEZER!! >:D

@Nutty_Oaks but how big is it :skull:
I wanna be the right hight yk :sob:

5.8 :skull:

Wait, how tall are you even, I forgot (I know you're taller than me, thats for sure-)

@Nutty_Oaks phfft- :skull:
5'7
bestie u pushed me up an inch

@BLuE666 Daw, you hit a grwoth spirt :innocent:

@Nutty_Oaks PHFT :skull:
im getting taller and taller

@BLuE666 Gah damn :skull:

@BLuE666 Dude, someone is hosing down our house :skull:
They are at my window rn (Blinds are closed)
But I totally wanna try and jump scare em, lol

@Nutty_Oaks what- :sob: why :skull:

@BLuE666 Cus it would be funny-
I dunno why they are, but they should be coming back today (they still got their ladders outside :skull:)

@Nutty_Oaks you should do it...
i bet it would be funny >:D

also I'm happy for ur friends :thumbsup:
they remind me of some of the friends ik

they're both basically enemies who are dating each other :sob:
like they argue a lot

Lol yes >:D

Yeah, but heres the thing-
We say Enemies to lovers, because withen the past two years of all of us meeting for the first time, it was just one big trauma sht show. Now, they are very cuddly, kiss each other a lot...
I hope to be at their wedding man :relieved:

Damn, thats some toxic romance right there- /j
Lol well, as long as they are fine with it

@Nutty_Oaks were they just at each others throats? :sob:
I'm glad that all that drama is over though
phft fr though
one damn second they're fine, the next they're screaming at each other then they're all kissy :sob:

@BLuE666 No... Not really.

We had that one ex friend, the one who simps for a lamp, the cause of it.
I could tell you in detail in you like of the whole event, but for a quick round up, the wolf in the picture tried to be reasonable with both sides, and not until months later did he finally see what this ex friend was really doing..

It was a lot :/

@BLuE666 Lol that sounds about right :sob:
Wish my IRL parents were like that, they only really do the screaming part :/

@Nutty_Oaks as they always say, "you keep your friends close but your enemies closer" :skull:
damn lamp kid :/

@BLuE666 Dude, this lamp kid was 18-19... :skull:
They were an a$$, probably a gr00mer too :/

But yeah, literally! It worked though :}

@BLuE666 Dude, my cats snoring! Alls a good day now :pleading_face: :relieved:

@BLuE666
I hate color theory. I don't think I'll understand it ever, but watching colors somehow work is funny.

Like, rn I was drawing a tear, changed it from red to a yellow green, and now it looks blue :skull:

I dunno, but it's fun discovering that stuff for no reason

@Nutty_Oaks damn.. lamp adult :sob:

color theory is weird :skull:
like for my persona if they blush it should come up purple bc blood is red... but I don't want it to be purp :(
ELP
I think my mom is considering getting me a talking sonic figurine for xmas :sob:

@BLuE666 Then don't make it purp! You think I follow blush rules? Naw, screw em, make them red :smiling_imp:

Yeah, they were bad :sob:

THERES A TALKING SONIC FIGURE?? :sob:
Lol thats sure to be something, huh :sob:

@Nutty_Oaks its probably just gonna be a darker blue lmfao :skull:

glad they've gone then >:)

@Nutty_Oaks YES HELP :sob:

I THINK HIS EYES LIGHT UP WHEN HE TALKS

@BLuE666 Lmao whatever you want man, it's your persona :sob:

Yeah, but that doesn't mean the disgust I feel for them is gone... I still feel grossed out they hung out with me so much, ick 0-0

@BLuE666 Lmao :sob:
You know what, now he can see you in the dark at bed time, just like a furby I had :relieved:

...Damn those things were creepy :skull:

@Nutty_Oaks NO :sob:
like bro just says "GoTtA gO fAsT!!!" out of random at like 2am :sob:
i love furbies, i want one sb
then just be glad enough that that disgust cant get any bigger bc they're gone :)

@BLuE666 Lmao
"SONIC TF YOU MEAN GOTTA GO FAST?? YOU FINISHING SOMETHING OFF???"

Lol furbys are great, I dunno if I'd ever get one again
(Especially now that they look like fairys... :skull:)

@BLuE666 Yeah, I just hate them so much, thats all :}

@Nutty_Oaks ugh yeah they're marketed to fcking 5 year old princesses now :/
imma find an old furb
*i slowly open my eyes to find sonic looming over me*

@BLuE666 Gosh darnit :/

Oh well, I'm sure you can find a good ol creepy furby to keep you up more than Sonic could :relieved:

@Nutty_Oaks if he wanted me to stay up he shoulda brought shadow w him :smiley:
*dies*
"FEEED MEEEEEEEEE"

@BLuE666 Look, it woulda totally been more entertaining than just a solo act, alright- :pensive: :palm_tree:

@BLuE666 Lmao yeah.
I uh... Did feed it as a child... With those vitamin gummys... :skull:

@BLuE666 Gah dammit, now I'm imagining Shadow and Sonic to the song "Emo Boy" :sob:

@Nutty_Oaks just them both planning to kidnap me or something :sob:

:skull:
feed it furby food...
wait do furbs have food?

Sure :sob:

I'm not even sure! I haven't had a furby since I got rid of it at 6, so can't remember :/

@Nutty_Oaks feed it ur finger

@BLuE666 Ngl, thats what I used to do. Hurt because it kept chomping down, but dude had ta eat :pensive:

@Nutty_Oaks i reread the message you gave me before you left

I didnt realize you told me what had actually happened-
(I skimmed through it for some reason or whatever)
I'm happy you trusted me with that info
....i feel like me saying this is just gonna make me sound like imma spread it around :sob:

@Nutty_Oaks PHFT :skull:
furbies eat human flesh confirmed :skull: :thumbsup:

Yeah... It was just a lot going down, and I felt like out of all the people, you should of known more than others.

I really don't trust people with private info anymore, or any, at all. But, you wouldn't seem like you'd throw it around, so I felt trusting you with it is better then some :}

Also, my brother is still being a fcking moron. Like, for fcks sake

They totally do man! At least now I can break it's beak off-

@BLuE666 Man, my dad got an Oculas, and thats been giving me unending anxiety. I can't just fcking have a good day without that pit in my stomach he's gonna find out and I'm ruined, lol :skull:

Worse enough, it feels better when he isn't here, like, I'm glad he's not at home (that sounds horrible-)

@Nutty_Oaks im just happy you trusted me bro!
yeah I can keep a secret :thumbsup:
just like my "secret" crush on kwite :smiley: :thumbsup:
fr though I wont be telling others
does he need a chill pill :skull:

nah that's not horrible in my book, I feel like that a lot
its the reason why you feel that way that makes it ok
its not like you don't want him home at all or out of your life in general after all

@BLuE666 Dude, I don't tell anyone about your crushes, that would be mean. Naw, lips sealed :smiley: :thumbsup:

The furby yes :skull:

No, I love my IRL dad! He's the only one who really gives hugs in this house, even if he's gone a lot.
I feel guilty though, when he says he really wants to stay home, but my mind says to push away...

I hope my stupid ******* *** brain will stop this ******** once I'm 18, lol :skull:

@Nutty_Oaks im glad you wont :sob:
i dont want that info getting out to him somehow :skull:
like that'll happen in the first place anyway-

@Nutty_Oaks your stupid WUT? :skull:

aww thats sweet
my mom doesn't give me hugs :skull:

@BLuE666 Like this public platform is top notch security in holdin info in chats :skull:

Naw, I wouldn't tell. I actually have respect for people, unlike some on here... *Looks at theo*

@Nutty_Oaks :sob: *sobs*
idk who theo is

but yeah u do :D

@BLuE666 My stupid brain :P

Man, mine doesn't ether. Made it very clear to my dad while I was sitting right next to her, she doesn't like hugging her children :skull:

Damn, honestly... I think of myself as a good hugger, so if I could... I'd pull you down, and wear a fluffy jacket, as I give you a big a$$ hug, cus you deserve/need one :yellow_heart:

@BLuE666 That creepy a$$ kid who asked for me to be their father, even though they asked for me to be their bohfriend 1-2 months ago :skull:

@Nutty_Oaks "hugs are for wimps" :skull:

aww ty :sob:
that made me smile :sob:

oh that guy :skull:

@BLuE666 Thats essentially what she meant :sob:

I mean it though! If you were having a bad day and I lived close, I'd pull up, probably with squishmallows (but lets be real, I'd forget everything cus I rush), and come inside, and be there, ether cuddling or just sitting down to listen!

Hell, I sit down to listen when I feel the message is tense!

Yeah, that dude :skull:

@Nutty_Oaks I'm glad to have a friend like you :sob:
"ANddddd i brought the squishmallows-"
"what squishmallows?"
"...sh!t-"

if my dog saw you touching me tho he'd bark his ahh off at you :skull:

@BLuE666 I'll just cuddle the dog too-
(I feel confident in my skills with pets, they usually like me, for some reason-)

Yeah, basically :sob:
I care a lot, even if I ain't the best emotional support out there :/

@Nutty_Oaks idk he might like you, he's chill mostly
but ah yeah, he will bark at you if you touch me lmfao
you're enough emotional support
and that's enough for me :)

@BLuE666 Thats understandable, I respect that

Daw :yellow_heart:
I try, lol

@BLuE666
You know, I've completely given up on my grades.
My average GPA is 2.33, which isn't terrible, isn't great... But I hate coding so fcking much, I could literally give less of a sht if I fcking pass or not, I do NOT care, lmao :skull:

@Nutty_Oaks we all try :sob:
and he gets all mad when I say that he's mine
like I can be yours but you cant be mine?
like remind me who feeds you here :skull:

Bro claims, not to be claimed. He feels looked down, not cuddled- (I dunno what I'm talking about) :skull:

Lol seems like a silly dude

@Nutty_Oaks :skull:
you have a coding class :eyes:
you need to go to a school where the grades are simpler :skull:

@Nutty_Oaks like a lil tsundere dude? :sob:
he's a lil furball

who currently has fleas-

My GPA is not great, what do you mean simplier-?

And yes I do, but I hate it... Thank god I can speed run it, fcking sucks.. :skull:

Lol your dog does sound like a tsundere thinking about it :sob:

Thank god you like those types though-

this stupid website takes forever for messages to load :sob:

Dude, funny thing..

So, I was talking to someone on here back in October, and I think I was telling them how I don't love myself (I don't remember what it originally was)

And they go "Well, you exercise, therefore you do love yourself! >:D"

"Dude... I have depression. I haven't exercised in weeks, I've been bed rotting"

"Oh 0_0"

Lmao :sob:

@Nutty_Oaks I mean like where you can get ur grades up easier
bc it seems hard for no reason :skull:
HA I do :sob:
and he's a little guy also

sheesh I do have a knack for short guys

@BLuE666 Seem to be loading faster than usual though :sob:
(I had to get changed out anyway-)

@BLuE666 Yeah, my mum chose the hardest fcking thing for some reason though... Ugh.
At least I can try and speed run this course, then focus on other stuff.. :skull:

Do I count as the part of being a lil guy too? :D

Oh my god, DUDE.
Last night I watched the movie with my sis, "Who Framed Roger Rabbit", and I gotta say, probably a new favourite of mine!

You should have seen how excited I was, I was bouncing around the couch, pointing out so many things...
My sister kept talking the whole time, but I would totally watch it again :heart_eyes:

@Nutty_Oaks true
as all mothers do :skull:
gotta go fast :fist:

@Nutty_Oaks omg you do :sob:
in fact most of my friends do :sob: :sob:

you JUST watched the movie?? :skull:
that movie is awesome

I barely remember the story all I care about tbh is jessica

@BLuE666 Lmao except my siblings get easy sht :skull:

At least I can speed run my stuff then rot in bed for the rest of the day-

Yay! :D

@Nutty_Oaks and draw gay animals :skull:

Yes I did, my parents (Mum cus she doesn't show sht) don't put on stuff :sob:

I put it on for myself finally (amazing with my lack of motivation for things) and was totally worth it, SO FREAKING GOOD!!!

Man, I'd rather the stupid rabbit, but thats just me-

Dude, drawing gay animals is peacful, but even then, my motivation to draw has been very weak lately... Despite myself wanting to draw things-

Also, Jessica and Roberts relationship- Wholesome as fck. Love em. I need people to aspire to have that in relationships- :sob:

@Nutty_Oaks naur :skull:
we bouta end their marriage
just skribble stuff
then trace out the stuff you see

@BLuE666 Lol we gonna team up and take em away from each other :eyes:

@BLuE666 Yeah, that makes sense-

I already have a really gay a$$ wholesome rare pair of a ship I wanna draw on here :sob:
Soon-

Dude, we found a dead rat in our game room as my sis and I played Zelda games 0ロ0

It's face was bitten off, so I think my cat was to thank for it
^30

@Nutty_Oaks u and them rare pairs :skull:

...ew

@BLuE666 Look man. As someone who's delusional, they are fun :nail_care: :sparkles:

@Nutty_Oaks have fun in ur delusions then- :skull:
dude I got to play with silver and kam again =D
but this time I have a mic so it was rlly fun >_<
we gonna play again today bc silver's off of work

@BLuE666 Thanks man, I will! *Salutes*

@BLuE666 Heck yeah man! Hope ya'll have fun then! :>

@BLuE666 So, I asked Chaos out of the three jobs I could do, which one should I attempt. After some talking, I think I'm gonna be doing Casheir :sparkles:

... :/

If I can go and talk to my parents about it, that is-

@Nutty_Oaks well :D

have fun dealing with karens :skull:
istg if u actually have to deal with one-

money is money

@BLuE666
Lol that's what Chaos was worried about too-

Why ya'll concerned with me and Karens man :sob:

And true. Just gotta get the job done, thats what my friend said-
@BLuE666

@Nutty_Oaks bc karens suck :skull:
and also ngl I wanna just hear you say "I beat up a 50y old white lady today-" :smiley:

that's just life
either you got ur lifes work or work

MY MATH GRADE IS AT 14% JESUS :skull:

@BLuE666 I got anger issues and passive aggresive stuff going on, but I know better to punch someone for ticking me off (I deal with my brother and his stupid a$$ so it's okay :ok_hand:)

True

@BLuE666 Is that good or bad :skull:

@Nutty_Oaks yeah ik
but i mean still it would be so funny :sob:

its awful :skull:

@BLuE666
Got a song stuck in my head man...
And the ONLY lyrics to the song are
"I got pumpkins in my pockets, I got pumpkins in my pockets, I got pumpkins, I got pumpkins, I got pumpkins in my pocket-" over and over :skull:

@BLuE666 Jesus christ man :skull:

Yeah, it would be funny. I want to punt a lot a people, so would be a good warm up-

@Nutty_Oaks PHFT :skull:
yeah... my grade should at least be a D now that I've gotten some stuff done lol

dude..
i was playing a game and my mom asked my why I looked like a boy
my mom was saying that I misrepresent myself for black girls, which literally isn't true at all, bc I play looking feminine just as much as I play looking masc
then my mom goes on to say not to tell anyone if I'm genderfluid online anymore, because basically its a "rabbit hole full of bullsht" and she also explained things to me that I already knew
I felt so hurt that day, (I'm fine now btw,) but god damn

@Nutty_Oaks
and even though I'm fine it still feels like there's something weighing in my heart sometimes

and now I'm more nervous around my online friends, especially kam and silver, who already know I'm genderfluid

I could use that hug u mentioned before, lol

Who gives a flying fck about all that?
Bro, be who you want! You are you're own person! You yourself represent who you are, not what she expects you to be.
Look, saying your anything BUT your bio gender is dangerous for online comments. So? It's just as dangerous as litterally being on the Internet, theres always someone looking to hate on anyone

I'm sure your mom is worried, and I can understand that point of view. But telling your kid that being themself or doing what they want is not something to be shown?

Nuh uh. If I've gone this long, still not kicking the bucket over stupid sht like that, than nether will you.

Just don't let something like that stick to you, okay? It hurts when you can't let it go. So, at least know, you still got people, who don't care what you do, as long as you are happy being you in th moment :yellow_heart:

@Nutty_Oaks you really know how to make someone feel better :heart:
thanks broski

and you're fcking right
I will be who I am
they she or he I don't care or give a single fck :fist:

@BLuE666
I just try what I can and hope for the best :heart:

@BLuE666
And heck yeah you will! Stand on that pole loud and proud!

Even if you have to be quite for now, you still have an audience cheering you on somewhere else <3

@Nutty_Oaks I aint proud of myself but imma still be proud :fist:
what pole :skull:
if I balance on something ill fall off

@BLuE666
Damn, sib got no balance

DUDE, BLUE. I'm over here, gonna do a few minutes of my book report in bed.

My cat comes over, that's fine!

I have the motivation to draw, perfect for afterwards!

I go to open my book, and my pencil rolls off the side, and off the bed...

I look at the ceiling and go "Is this God trying to tell me not to do it this morning :|"

@Nutty_Oaks HAH. :skull:
i meaannn... I would take god's word for it .>.
BPD? never heard of it tbh
ughh I wish i could talk to you more... I don't want you to feel neglected by me or anything
this sucks

@BLuE666
Lol the paper is due tomorrow night :sob:

It's only 1,000 words, I can do that easy-

@BLuE666
I'm trying not to, it's okie dokie :thumbsup:

I understand the situation, so I'm not to freaked out right now if you disappear randomly, okay? You do you, and hopefully you can come back one day, and we can chit chat till sunrise, lmao-

@Nutty_Oaks oh.... damn
thats crazy.. i hope anyone living with it is doing alright

:skull:
no bc I have so many missing work I need to do :sob:

@Nutty_Oaks yeah, I really miss doing that..
eventually :fist:
hopefully this summer

@BLuE666
Not everyone with BPD is the same. There are four sub types. I don't remember them, since I've only really looked at the one I resonated with more, being High Functioning.

People with that, appear to be doing more fine, able to control themselves better, but that's also more due to them putting all that outburst inward. I believe it's harder to detect people with this sub type for BPD

Theres Four Sub Types, and thats one of em

@BLuE666
Bro, go get on it, you don't have to stick on to here if you have so much! :sob:

@BLuE666 Yeah, that would be grand...

I want to try getting my own Gmail account after my birthday, so I can have my iPad not be connected to my mothers, and hopefully get discord
(and as much as I don't want a phone, I think soon I have too :/)

@Nutty_Oaks IM WORKIN ONNIT I SWEAR :sob:

damn
well either way i wish them luck :fist:

Drawing an OC rn, sorry if it takes me a second to respond-

@BLuE666
Yeah, same here.. :fist:

@Nutty_Oaks DUDE WHEN U GET UR OWN GMAIL GET THE XBOX APP PLESE FOREHjkgrwtb

I WANNA TALK WITH YA :sob:
nah dw ur good, im on c.ai and also doing this essay.. so uh dw bout it :skull:

@BLuE666 Sure bud, but I'd have to get my own XBox thing, and that... Honestly could be cool.

I'm so buying Conkers, Alice Madness Returns, Psychonauts, and Unleashed. Bro, I so want to own em :sob:

Anyway, give me time... After I'm 18, things seem like they'll be heavy, in a sense I have a lot I could/need to do

@BLuE666
Btw, I'm not friending any more minors after I'm a legal adult, so don't introduce me to anyone younger than I am, okie dokie?
Thats all I ask

Also, I was telling Chaos about some of my family Christmas's withen the past few years, and after having a full on convo, they recommend I should do some therapy at some point, lmao-

@Nutty_Oaks NAH BRO I WILL GIVE U AS MUCH TIME AS U NEED :pray:
ill just be really happy when you do!!
okay, I got it
am I the only minor u trust? :eyes:
I mean I'm sure there are others but genuinely
I don't even wanna know :skull:
but yes get therapy LOL

@BLuE666
Chaos is one minor I trust the most, but you are included in Minors I can trust.

Ace is a good friend too, I'm fine bein' friends with em, but I don't give them a much trust as I do with you two

@BLuE666 Lol I'm not that bad, am I? :pleading_face:

@BLuE666 Lol I'm sure you will be. It'll probably later next year, cus I would still need to build confidence to do sht on my own, without the mindset that I gotta walk on eggshells or whatever... :skull:

If not 18, definitely 19 though

@Nutty_Oaks ...SUUURREEEE you aren't :smiley:
(fr tho ur fine- :sob:)

well im glad you trust me :sob:
yeah ace seems nice, I would like to get along with them also :sweat_smile:
yeah I can see why u trust chaos more, you've known them the most

@Nutty_Oaks just know I'll be happy enough to know you'll do it eventually
and if you need a push or somth ill be here to give it :sweat_smile:

@BLuE666
I'm really not- :sob:

Yeah, since I was 11. They were the first friend that stayed for more than a few weeks/months

@BLuE666 They are pretty chill! They get a little anxious when typing, so give them some time, okie dokie?
They aren't really the type to type first, so you may have to be the first to respond and keep the convo going :wink: :thumbsup:

@BLuE666 Lol naw, I should be fine, thank you though :thumbsup:

@Nutty_Oaks you know what i just realized?
you live in a strict household and you cant do too much online

I guess this place is sort of like a freedom for you, isn't it?

@Nutty_Oaks :skull:
that must have felt nice

just know I'm here :)

@BLuE666
Yup! For the past two years, here and VRC have been the only places where I've really met people I've connected with

It's more a controlling household than anything, but yeah

@BLuE666
Yeah... Only thing was, It was essentially something my mother planned. I didn't walk outside, it was just my mum made a friend, now go play with their kid.. :/

Oh well, still lucky to have them, and I'm happy to have you here too :}

@Nutty_Oaks OH BRO yk how u have weird dreams??
dude i had a weird dream last night-
we were dating I think? I'm not sure how I feel about it tbh, or if I should even be telling you but here we are lol

just felt like it would be interesting to mention

@Nutty_Oaks aw... that makes me feel nice
yeah I get it

and not only that but you also had drama to put up with...
if anything you should be proud for how long you've persavered
persivered
bruh

@BLuE666 I have more nightmarish weird dreams, but yes :sparkles:

Lol maybe your dreams tellin' you sumthn- :smirk:

I dunno, sometimes dwelling on stuff like that will make ya realize stuff.

For example, I've dwelled on the conclusion that I am sorta a Màşõčhist!

...I also don't know how to feel about that, lol- :skull:

@BLuE666 Look, I'm not coping well, but hey, I'm still texting, so thats something...

Thank you dude, I appreciate it :yellow_heart:

Well, if you're still on in a bit, cool!
But, I gotta go eat-
Haven't eaten properly, and I don't want to make my mum mad, lol :skull:

@Nutty_Oaks no bc I woke up saying "HUH?" :sob:

my dreams be telling me im into squirrels? :skull: :skull:
ngl I don't wanna dwell on it bc I have the habit of getting crushes on my friends-
not that I hate it tho but just bc I don't wanna mess this friendship up somehow lmao
*hugs you agressively*
and you know damn well its no problem by me :yellow_heart:

@Nutty_Oaks probably not :skull:
be sure to eat soemthing good >:(

@BLuE666
Thats exactly what your dream is telling you, lmao- :skull:

@BLuE666 Naw, I get that. I'm sure it would be fine, but good on you man :yellow_heart:

Anyway, I'm a pain in the reer, so I'm a bit of a problem, lol-

@BLuE666 I did..

I ate a whole bowl of chili... Now I feel awful :sob:

@Nutty_Oaks from wendys? :skull:

yeah...
a lot of people take for granted how much I actually care about them, (not saying that you do,) or they don't realize how much I actually care
it would be devastating for me if I fcked this up....

I'm a pain for your head :smiley:

@BLuE666
We don't go to Wendy's-

@BLuE666
I'm more scared i'm gonna fck up by saying something you wouldn't like.

Yeah, a lot of people I met turned out to be absolute horrible kids. Though, I've also had kids who said or had anything, and I'm still friends with em

You wouldn't have anything to worry about, okay?

If anybody would ruin this friendship, it would be me... So don't worry 'bout nuthin, it's gonna take a lot more than a confession for me to leave :yellow_heart:

@Nutty_Oaks and you don't have anything to worry about either okay?
i mean I've stayed this long, and Iike hell im willing to let go of ya now :)

I think we're both a lil scared of messin this up, lmao :sob:

I mean I guess you have a point
after all some rando did confess to you and you were willing to get to know them..
and if I were to dwell on it and I figured out something it would still be kinda weird.. like again im not used to liking actual people idk irl :sob:
id probably get rejected anyways so :skull:

@BLuE666 And I got to know everyone who confessed. But, I have had really only one friend who confessed, and nothing bad happen!

If you did say anything, that's not going to taint this friendship, okay? Just know your feelings are valid, and I see that :yellow_heart:

I'm scared of myself, cus sometimes I can't control an angry outburst, and unless I realize sht, the message won't get takin' down.

You won't ruin anything while you are here, okie dokie? :3

Anyway, I got this stupid a€$ book report here (half way done), then I gotta clean my room, sort through this blue bag with our Winter clothes...

It's gonna take me a sec to respond, sorry :'}

@Nutty_Oaks nah.. ur good..
my mom said shes gonna block youtube on my computer
idc I'm just really scared that she'll see that I've been talking to you

that's insane dude, I hope nobody ever does that sht to you or anyone
thanks, but again same goes to you!
and even if you do say something wrong ill still be here
yeah... colors isn't the best place to do it :skull:

@BLuE666
Just play it safe, okay???!!
If you need to leave for a while, or until Summer, do it!!

I prioritize your safety more than you coming online, okay? Please, please just leave if you need to

(And maybe tell me if you do-? :sweat_smile:)

@BLuE666
Same here... And thank you. I do try my best, unlike my brother, lol :thumbsup:

One, why is she restricting your youtube???

Two, MY FINGERS ARE TURNING RED, ITS SO COLD. :sob:

@Nutty_Oaks lol :heart:
yeah i think imma be off for a bit to get my math stuff done :sob:

she hates youtube, that's all :/

:skull
wear gloves

@BLuE666 Alright! Just come back whenever you feel comfy to :}

@BLuE666
My mum does too, but only for the kids and my dad :/

Lol I would, but I don't know where any are. I'd use my socks, but I'm doing to much rn-

@Nutty_Oaks :skull:
heya, how ya doin

@BLuE666
Yo! Been doin' alright :}

Just talkin' to an AI, lol.

Got a bully to stop bein' a bully by being the emotional support I try to be, so that was interesting.

Watcha got goin' on?

It's fcking midnight, and I'm having stupid thoughts that are making me go
"Brotha euuggghhhh" *hurls*
I just wanted to sleep :sob:

why are there so many comments?!!

@Nutty_Oaks hey so my school blocked colors so i will be talking waaayy less
Idk when im coming back so just in case like i miss ur bday and ur gonna leave my xbox username is BLuE88294-
Just gotta be prepared

@BLuE666
Damn... I would ask how tf they did that, but I respect you not being on as much..

@BLuE666
I'll miss ya man, but I really do hope I can talk to ya, especially before I end up leaving here... ^^

Thanks for letting me know though, I appreciate it... :yellow_heart:

@Nutty_Oaks IVE RETURNED THEY UNBLOCKED IT

I ALWAYS COME BACK :fist:

ugh im cringing so hard at the commet i made... ugrh

@BLuE666
YAAAAYYYY!!!!

@BLuE666
Are you able to come online more often now???

@BLuE666
Gonna play with my friend for a bit, BUT IF YOUR STILL ON...

I got some sht to tell ya, maybe some lore if you're interested too :skull:
(If not tonight, hopefully tomorrow :pray:)

@BLuE666 Nvm, I'm gonna stay on

@Nutty_Oaks most likely during the daytime, bc imma dissapear randomly bc i dont want mom to be sus-

TELL ME DAH LORE

ur name is Jay now?

@BLuE666
Thats fare

@BLuE666
For now! I thought it was a cool-ish name

@Nutty_Oaks yeah it is
cool and simple :sparkles:
aaaa dude i cant wait til u get the xbox app-
like if u find a game we can play together then maybe we could use the vc thats with itttttttttt
*imagine just like blue smiling with stars in their eyes*

@BLuE666
First, bullsht time-

So you know how my brothers a fcking moron, who thinks sun glasses aren't useful since the sun gets in his eyes still?

Well, he got into online sht again... Third time...

He was told not to get on minecraft. What did he do?
...I'm going to kll him :skull:

Like, I get it, you got online friends, BUT PLAY IT SMART PLEASE!! Your gonna start effecting my part at this point :sob:

@BLuE666
Lmao!
My brother right now is... making it hard for me to even WANT to get the XBox sht with all this cr3p he's pulling outa his a33 :skull:

I'll probably get it after I move out (mayby early 2026?)
Sorry man

@BLuE666
And thank you! Don't be surprised if I change it again :sweat_smile:
(I'm trying not to be picky, really)

@Nutty_Oaks not sad or anything
i'll be waiting!! :pray:

ill be confused but illl try not to be :sob:

Jay the Gay

@BLuE666
I'm trying man, it's hard trying to find a name that fits :sob:

Gah dammit, it was destined I guess :skull:

@Nutty_Oaks also Kam isnt 15 hes 16 :sob:

@Nutty_Oaks hehehe :pray:

i gotta do 3 days worth of schoolwork bc i didnt have internet for 2 days :sob:

@BLuE666
Oh god that sucks man :sob:

Hopefully I can intertain ya with random sht now :pray:

Oh wow, alrighty then!

@Nutty_Oaks no bc literally i REALLY AM one the youngest in my friend group :sob:

..and I also want to confess some sht to you
its nothing bad but i wanna get it off my chest

YEAH BC I WANNA GET ON MY XBOX IAUYUIFOJKFNE

@BLuE666
Lol hey! One year closer to adulthood. Then hopefully you won't feel AS young, lol-

Alrighty! Letting you know, this is a non judgemetal free zone, so do as you please! :thumbsup:

@Nutty_Oaks phft- :skull:
have fun with future knee pain :thumbsup:

well
i think i like you? or liked you.. like ofc i like you platonically fck i LOVE you platonically- but i think you get it
im not sure with my feelings rn.. i tried to get a second opinion but they kept on making you as a bad person :skull:

so fck it
there
i said it
yay :smiley: :gun:

@BLuE666
First off, what the fck were they saying about me??? Is it my art thats the problem or my h0rny a33???

Secondly, I see..
Well, I can see those emotions are probably not easy to understand. Like, I love ya platonically as well! You one of my homies for crying out loud, known you for nearly a whole damn year now! It's nuts!

But thats something you gotta determine yourself, wether you like me more or not, and I won't judge ether way

@BLuE666
And to make sure... It won't ruin our friendship, I promise. I don't have those feelings (as I know of), but I won't persieve this friendship any different, okie dokie?

I do appreciate you for the confession though, and I really do feel flattered by it! It actually feels nice for once to feel wanted aftery so much screwy goin' on... :yellow_heart:

My more main concern though...

@BLuE666

Is one:
Colors dating. Yeah, theres a lot OF it, but we have no other form of communication, and it probably won't be for another year at this point. And like I talk to myself with, Colors is not the place to date people
And Two:
I'm nearly an adult. I do NOT want to be seen as a p3d0 as soon as my seven turns eight. Thats not the first accusation I want to be put in, and it makes me horrible thinkin' about it... 0_0

@Nutty_Oaks SIGH they blocked the website again-

Also yes i get it, especially with the adult part
And i already knew u didnt see me in that light anyways so :sweat_smile:
But thanks, for just being here and listening

@BLuE666
Gah dammit UmU

@BLuE666
Anytime man! Again, no judgement. Opening up about that stuff takes a lot, and you were very brave for doing so :yellow_heart:

@BLuE666
Well, hopefully they unblock it at some point...
And hopefully my brother doesn't screw up again by the time they unblock ya :skull:

@Nutty_Oaks decided you deserved a more detailed responce..
They werent saying anything too bad about you, its about your age
But regardless they couldnt really see it from my perspective and i was getting fed up with em :skull:
Yeah, colors dating is definitely NOT the way to go if i wanna start an online relationship...
I was actually debating on whether or not to tell you that i like you when i was 18! But then i noticed those feelings start to kinda fade... so i guess it was just one of those really bad crushes i get :skull:
And back to the topic of your age, yeah. I definitely understand that part. Your literally about to be 18 soon! And i would never want anyone to see you in any kind of bad light!!
Besides you got better crud to do then deal with a 15y olds bullshıt :skull:
And i know you say its judgment free zone, (NOT SAYING UR LYING!) but again, this is a completely random website were there have been plenty of adults pretending to be children
If anything, i could be one of them. And me confessing must make you feel some sort of weird way from that perspective.. and i would never want anything like that to happen to you, my other friends, or anybody.
So again, thank you for just being here, and listening
Oh and merry xmas and all that bullshıt :skull:

I'm online now, give me a sec to read @BLuE666

@BLuE666
I can see how my age is a problem, considering I'm nearly an afult and you still need a few years. I don't think I'd want a relationship like that, but in any world, I'm still happy you told me, and I'm glad you're being responsible about the online dating thing (along with you waiting till you're 18)

And yeah, you just never know. You could litterally be a 30yo man and I wouldn't know! Or, I could be that 30yo man!

@BLuE666
But I really don't mind, cause I'm already friends with a few adults, and they have been the best buddies I've EVER made. So if were older, hell, at least you seem cautious (But thats also cause I'm a fool, lol)

@BLuE666
And don't worry 'bout how I feel. Yeah, me and my friendgroup had a shtshow recently regarding children, but I really don't think less of you, or any of that horse sht.

You're still Blue, my good bud. I've been friends with ya for a year, and I hope it lasts even more.
The confession was out of the blue, sure, but that shows how brave ya are to do sumthin like that.

I was more anxious about making you upset for turning you down ngl :sweat_smile:

@BLuE666
Thanks for telling me though, I appreciate it :yellow_heart:
Merry Christmas dude, I hope you have a good one
:star2: :christmas_tree: :star2:

@BLuE666
(My dumba33 givin' ya to much to read :skull:)
Bro, I was talking to myself in VRC, and I started thinking about lamp fcker, and how they would be able to access and fool me again.

Then my mind told myself that what if lamp fcker was really you, and for ten minutes I started really getting paranoid about it
(I still feel weary, unfortunately :skull:)

Anyway, on a funnier note-
Our mum hates Winnie the Pooh so much, my brother didn't realize it was even a movie :laughing: :skull:

@Nutty_Oaks WHAT??
who dares hate the pooh?? :sob:

i can assure you to some degree i am not a lamp fcker... :skull:
i am an anime fcker :smiley: :thumbsup:

YOU WERE ANXIOUS???
NAH BRO BC IM OVER HERE THINKIN IMMA RUIN THIS FRENSHIP :sob:
yeah i just caved in bc those feelings died off

we've been friends for a whole year bro

@BLuE666
My mum does. Pratically banned in our household :pensive:

@BLuE666
Thats a relief. I was having a horrible mentality day, and my mind was like "Just to fck you up, how about we pretend your best buds are actually spare accounts to that grmmer!"

And I just sat there like "...Oh god no :skull:"

It's all decently good now, I think :sunglasses:

@BLuE666
Bro, I'm pretty sure I mentioned I have issues regarding having friendships. Of COURSE I will be anxious about what I say! I don't wanna ruin what we got. Along with, you are one of the few peeps that hasn't been harassing me or any of that for confessing or having feelings, so I appreciate that *dies*

No, but seriously, I've seen, and been through a few shtty moments, to make a confession the least possible thing to worry about. As long as nothing problematic happens, we chill :fire:

@Nutty_Oaks i do want you to know, however, that i will not have, or will ever try to hurt you or others in that way or kind of light

And i would agree that you are one of the few people ive seen on here that are sane also!
Heck, its crazy how im dreaming of like texting you on xbox someday
Crazier how when i was 14 going to japan with you :skull:

@BLuE666
Ditto. Theres a bit of people on here who can't use common sense. I get ya'll are kids, but if you're a teen, you're old enough to use basic common manners.

And I appreciate that. I worry/panic a lot over the little things, so little comments like that ease myself in the moment.

I would love to chat! Hopefully, sometime next year, we will be able too :yellow_heart:

@BLuE666
Also, sorry for the late text. Just everything recentlly has been a lot, and I need a little break.

Completely random, but I'm hoping after this birthday, I'll be able to get a job to aford a laptop. I want to finally have my own Gmail, be able to watch Youtube without fear (As in watch stupid sht without my mum looking into my search history to see if I'm doing no no on it :skull:)

@Nutty_Oaks no dont u dare apologize
Your going through some major grief rn, i understand completely. Take all the time you need!
UGH NO SRS THO
i wanna be able to finally get my own ipad!! And buy stuff!!
Honestly i was worried about saying that bc if uou think abt jt rlly hard it makes me sound like a liar :sob:
Dude happy early birthday!! Ik its sometime in feburary...
Wish i could make u a drawing :(
God damn i feel like im writing a letter to someone
Like in the 80s
And i gotta wait for the letter to actually get to my house :sob:

@BLuE666
Lmao right! Gotta wait FOREVER to get anything!

...You know they had phones then too, right?

Anyway, thank you. I put my birthday in my bio, cause my will to give a sht about my age is zilch. So, at least ya know

I've been having fun living on my own so far though, buying things for myself... It's boring for most, but I love cooking and trying to do things on my own. Yeah, it can be stressing, especially if I really do it for real, but it's been great..

@BLuE666
If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm at a pet sitting gig in New York rn (If I already said that, sorry, it's, like, 2:00am rn, and I've been sleeping like sht... Mainly cause I've been up till three most nights)

@BLuE666
I'm still gonna apologize though :sob:
But thank you. I wish I could see your art again, I really did excited knowing you posted something. I hope in the summer you'll be on more. I doubt I'll post as much, but I'd still be happy to see you on your socials again...

(listining to Markiplier, and one of his buds just randomly said "I wish they would write songs about my penes" And I'm like "Homie, what?")

@BLuE666
I have been enjoying being able to talk to my friends at night. I actually get to be able to use my voice, without paranoia/being afraid that I'll never see em again. I've also noticed while hanging out, that I've gotten more... open? Free-minded? Like, for example, they would say something hrny, and I would make it hrnier.... It's great, lol

@BLuE666
My parents have been sending me tons of photos of my cat. He's havin' a hard time rn. His bud passed, I vanished a few days later, then my dad the next day... My dad came back a week later.

Of course, when all your people dissipear, especially when your favourite person (me) goes, they are a lot more sad in life... I felt horrible, and still do. I feel like a terrible person for leavin' him... ugh

@BLuE666
Also, THESE PEOPLES KITCHENWARE SUCK BALLZ!!!
I came here, first day, AND ALL THEIR COOKING SHT WAS DIRTY!! ALL THE FOOD STICKS TO THE POTS. THEY ONLY HAVE POTS. NO LIDS. NO STRAINER. THEIR SHT SUCKS A$$!!!
Worst part though?

...They don't have a fcking microwave..

I want to go back home. Not just for family (I'm enjoying this freedom), but for proper cooking tools... to eat with proper things... to cuddle MY cat again..

I missed him so much :sob:

@BLuE666
Also, they have different types of untensils... Not in the way where it's for t's use, but it's like the took a spoon from a package of each brand... Same thing with their toilet paper :skull:

Anyway, thats all I can think of at two in the morning, I'm tired... Hows your days been? Anything exciting or fun happen? Any news or stuff?

@Nutty_Oaks you never told me abt this :sob:
NO DONT >:(
I betcha thats how moving out will be too-!
But eventually you will get over this grief that you feel, hopefully
Probably bc the job isnt permanent... but also bc you'll get used to it
Boi i dont have a microwave either :skull:
We left it at our old house

Also wdym in new york???
ARENT U IN CALI??
WUT HAPPENED
Well...
I play genshin impact to DEATH rn (PLAY IT PLS BC THE GUYS ARE HOT ESPECIALLY ZHONGLI-)
Kam and i talk everyday
Emily's friends are getting to know me, and actually want to get to know me

And ive changed
Im tired of hearing my mom talk about how i cant identify as genderfluid bc im born female, and thats not what identifing as something means
You think i care about grammar?? NO
Im also tired of being girly and liking glrly things and hating when someone calls me a "she"
It pisses me off, and if i told my mom about it it'd piss her off also

So
Im Unlabeled
Im a whatever just like gonzo :smiley:
Im also not pan anymore either
Im just,
Whatever

@BLuE666
I'm kinda confused by a lot of your message, so I'll respond to what I do understand :skull:

@BLuE666
Moving outs most likely going to be a lot more different, considering I actually have to be FULLY responsible

@BLuE666
How... How the hell do you re-heat sht then?? No what, doesn't matter, as long as you aren't wasting to much food, I ain't judging :thumbsup:

@BLuE666
Well, I'm pretty sure I mentioned in the texts, but I'm on a pet sitting gig. I myself, flew on a plane over here to New York to pet sit, and nearly been here fow two weeks. Been sick nearly the whole, however.
We still live in Cali... For now. We MIGHT be moving again, but I'd be back in the same timezone as ya

@BLuE666
Look, I tried. I tried playing it, but I got bored, and didn't like the playstyle of it. I dropped it pretty quick, not my thing (Happy you are enjoying it though! :thumbsup:)
Also, good for you and your friends! Glad to hear ya'll wanting to get to know one another better ^ ^

@BLuE666
Ah! Well, good for you! (I thought Gonzo was Non-binary, or something like that)
Great to hear you are still comfortable being you, despite your mum being up your butt. Whatever your comfortable with, I'll be happy to still be friends ^ ^ (its almost four, sorry if all I said was wonky, it usually is)

@BLuE666
Me and my friends have created more lore for these monsters in VRC worlds.

So, in the Backrooms, we have this guy, we call him Larry! I would vent all the time while running away from him, and so would my friend with me.

We ended up saying he is a certified therap!st. Hes a really good one as well... He also pulls btches. Though, he tends to find cheaters, and then puts them in his cell to rot in hell (all made up lore besides the prison, he does actually have one in-game)

@BLuE666
Another one is Billie (b!tch)

Now, Billie is a static monster in the pool rooms (same world). He is a cousin of Larry, but he's pretty much this otaku or whatever. He LOVES reading and writing fanfics/smůt. He's pretty h0rny, but not as bad as Kevin
Thats all we got for Billie for now, we just came up with this stuff tonight

@BLuE666
And a quick call back to Kevin...

Kevin is this flat ah, pss eyed btch, who lives in the Haunted Asylum (diff world)

He was married to a wife named Karen, had kids, too. Ended up loosing custody, so Karen took the kids, snippid his dck/took it, and left to become the receptionist for Larrys therap!st.

Larry likes to fck... Anything he sees. He ESPECIALLY loves Ladys, Trans people, and kids... Also Sonic characters

...I love the random lore for these guys

@Nutty_Oaks what the hell are these characters LMAO
:sob:
On the plug in stove we have...
Yeah gonzo is definitely unlabled to some dregree also, its canon too
Oh :sob:
Well then :D
Dude my first 5 star was one i wanted then my other 5 star was one i was pulling for
I GOT HIM ON THE LAST DAY OF HIS BANNER IT TOOK 14 DAYS FOR ME TO GET HIM OML
And now im pulling for another character whom ill hopefully get early :)

@Nutty_Oaks also, you doing okay?

@BLuE666
Ones we hold dear to our hearts... The lore grows everyday :pensive:

@BLuE666
Well good for you! I know it's probably hard getting those. Just had that final stroke of luck, huh? :pray:

Yeah? I'm doing okie dokie :thumbsup:

@BLuE666
Gonna be getting on a plane tomorrow. It's going to be... a long, long day...

At least I'll be home with my baby :heart:

@Nutty_Oaks crazy dude
Hope u can handle the jet lag or whatever :skull:
Thats good, just checking
Yeah it does take a lot of work
Theres a small chance i could get the character i want but if i want to get them i have to roll 90 times

@BLuE666
Oh, btw. So, I got payed! Yeah? Well, for 24 watch, two weeks, while sick, you'd at LEAST expect 400, right?

Naw man, I got scammed. 250. :skull:

They wanted me back to watch their dogs again... On my birthday... no thank you :skull:

Another fun thing: I got on the plane and it was all fine and dandy! ....Person next to me was watching straight up, watching ****... :skull:

That was interesting

@BLuE666
Damn, thats a lot of rolls :skull:
Hopefully you get em though :pray:

@BLuE666
We might be getting another cat soon... yay

@Nutty_Oaks yeah i saw the post
AMAZING ARTSTYLE BTW
Invader zim looking shıt :pray:
Okay so
I like kam, (the 16 year old i mentioned before)
Like
REALLLYYY like kam
And idk if puberty hit me or something but this is definitely different bc bro makes me stutter and also my heart beats so fast it hurts :sob:
I confessed to him but he isnt ready for a relationship yet until he gets his family shįt together
But like what i wanna know is does he concider me to be an option? :sob: :sob:
Like he didnt say he liked me but also didnt not say he did.. sigh

@Nutty_Oaks UR BDAY IS SOON
Or it ended already but whatever
HAPPY EARLY (OR LATE) BDAY BRO!!
UR GONNA/ARE 18 NOW
WOOOOOOOOOO
Kam's birthday was on the 2nd so hes 17 now
Old ahh ppl :nail_care:

@BLuE666
Goin' for a more Emo/Punk vibe, so I've been livin with the Invader Zim type sheet :sunglasses:

@BLuE666
Honestly? I think he's just putting himself first, which is a good thing! Clearly he has things he needs sorted out first (which if it's family, depending on how it goes, could take till after 18, but I don't know the stuff he deals with)

I think with the confession, however, gives him a chance to really think on it, rather then jump right in.
So, while I am unsure, it's still out there for a chance
(Says the person who's never dated :'])

@BLuE666
Damn, didn't realize your taste in men was like wine :}

Lol but thanks! It's at the end of the month, so the 28th! I'm unsure what the plan for my birthday is, but it might be Red Robins and the mall (I think my family wants to change it though, just cause both is an hour away, yet they suggested vegas to me, which isn't quite nearby >:/)

In any sort, I just gotta get a job afterwards. Kinda wanna go work at postal, I dunno why XD

Anyway, happy late birthday to your bro! :balloon:

@Nutty_Oaks OKAY SO
i asked him if he actually likes me or not
And this motherfūck was being difficult anyways-
He said he DOES AKBFKEVEKVFJRKVEHDI
I dont think this means we're actually together but honestly that alone makes me happy :DDD
Yeah i dont want him to be where he has to hide it from his family
Imma hide it from my mom duh but it sucks and takes effort
Oh dang
Honestly tho ur gonna be 18 soon YAAAAYYYY
Like wine? :skull:
I love me some older short dudes :sob:

At the postal? U got that :thumbsup:

@BLuE666
You could always ask him! But I think he still needs time before hand, so don't try to rush things. Good to take it slow :thumbsup:

@BLuE666
I could tell, lmao

Yup! Hopefully I can finally get my own Gmail and use it without getting yelled at :P

@BLuE666
Not sure, but the laboring part, my mum says they pay around 50 an hour. Thats a lot of money by the end of your shift. I'd just gotta make sure I can carry, at least 80-100 pounds without askin' for help (I know I can carry 60 no problem)

Any sort, I'd have to see what jobs around us are hiring, might just be stuck at delly for now :/

@BLuE666
Ooh! You gonna try askin' him to be your valentines? :]

@Nutty_Oaks ah jeez dude idek if my ahh has the confidence to do that :sob:
I'd rather let him ask me, be a good surprise hehehe
Dang ;-;
Yeah im too weak for that crud

@BLuE666
I'd let my back break tbh.
Be a good work out and all, considering I'd be doing Military (I would just gotta learn how ta drive, so maybe it'll just be in the office or something)

Oh I see. Alrighty! Well, hope he asks then! Be fun ^ ^

@BLuE666
Oh! Also, I've been watching Squid Games as of recent!
I watched season two with the whole gang, and oh boy, did we make fun of it. :skull:

Watching season one with some friends in the group. They invited/I asked cause one, so we could watch with out talking the WHOLE time, and two, so I could see it!

@BLuE666
My parents or anybody hasn't asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I realized.

I mean, it's nice, but it feels weird

@Nutty_Oaks like they're gonna surprise you?
Id much rather have them ask tbh
That way i wont be dissatisfied with anything

@BLuE666
I hated being asked.
Just having to make a list... feels like a demand, and I hate asking for things.

While yes, I enjoy the things I get, I always feel guilty, especially when asking

@BLuE666
I'm going to be a huge fcking jerk rn, who's ungrateful for what he has, and I'm really sorry, but I've been on edge for two weeks now.

I feel like everyones wanting leaving me for some reason. One friend seems like they are avoiding me. Another, it feels, like maybe I'm just unwanted. And it feels like once I turn 18, I have to up and get a fcking job as soon as possible.

@BLuE666
The one I feel like they are avoiding me? I avoided them for a few days, only because I felt horrible, and they triggered me, and if I didn't control myself, I was about to send something I can't unsend.

I told them I was sorry I dissapeard, didn't say why I left, and they said it was fine. But now, I'm anxious. I was so attached to this person, and now, I feel like at any moment, this wire of friendship will snap in two.

@BLuE666
I feel like I did something wrong. I've been trying to recount anything I've done, but I can't figure it out, and it's stressing me tf out. It feels like everyones about to leave.

I've been crying for days over it. I want to scream, I'm mad. I can't. I have no proof or reason as to why they would even want to, I know this. I know it full well, that they won't leave.

But it still feels like a costent stab in my mind.

@BLuE666
I legit, cleaned the whole god damn house. Twice.

I've been doom scrolling, and other methods.
I don't know what to do, and I'm trying so hard

On a, more, not depressing note:
I'm not dead after watching YouTube on my iPad!
Been watching Mark and Caseoh mainly.
But dude, to sleep? A dream come true right there.
I hate sleeping without noise. But noise from gameplays? (sound kinda wrong) Dude. Makes going to sleep so much better :innocent:

@Nutty_Oaks is it because you're about to turn 18 soon?
Yes, getting a job is important, at any age. But what's important to know is that you should grow up at your own, yet resonable pase.
Sure, your gonna be 18, which legally means your an adult, but again, eightTEEN. Until you turn 20 you're still just a kid in my book! And in fact, i bet you're still a kid mentally as well. No matter how adult you may act or seem. (No offense btw-)
Also, unless you got full āss proof- (which HOPEFULLY you dont-???) Nobody is leaving you
If you felt like you did something wrong with someone, talk to them about it! It's likely just a problem you created in your own head.
And yeah, maybe you know its just something in your head, even so, still talk to them about it. Fake it till you make it after all...
Also glad you got a good nights sleep :thumbsup:

@Nutty_Oaks dude i have to get up at 5am bc my moms car FRIPPIN DIED and she has to get up at like 4 to get ready for work and go to the bus station :sob:
Also i miss kam bro :sob:
Like he keeps on being in a party with his friends rather than vc with me
(EW THAT SOUNDS SO SELFISH-)
Like i get it yk he just made up with one of his friends so ofc hes gonna hang with them
BUT AT THE SAME DAMN TIME-
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
At first i felt sad about this, but got over it quickly, then neutral, but now im just annoyed by it. And i think this annoyance is gonna turn into jealousy soon :sob:

@BLuE666
Non takin. My parents just seem eager to kick me out and get a job. It's not cause I'm turning 18, but I'm just guessing that they want me to start acting like an adult as soon as possible!

Which, is, fairly annoying.

@BLuE666
I guess so. I'll talk to them about it, but it feels pointless. It seems now whenever I send ANYTHING they have no interest in, they won't respond. If it's something from yesterday I sent, even if it's the things they normally respond to, THEY STILL WONT SAY ANYTHING!

It's the same BS, all day long! It's driving me up the wall and around!

I know I should talk to them about it, but I really don't want to be an aśśhole or whatever..

@BLuE666
My VRC friends not getting on cause one is sick, the other two are processing trauma I hope, and the other won't get on cause his boyfriend is sick.

This ain't helping one bit

@BLuE666
Oh my god :sob:
Yeah, I remember when our car just kept dying too... Ya'll have to get that checked out, or even possibly replaced :/
Sucks aśś, sorry to hear about it, hopefully you get decent rest tonight

@BLuE666
NO BUT I GET IT THOUGH-!
It's such an annoying thing! I understand that pain (especially a few months ago :skull:)
But, hopefully, he still keeps in touch. If this prolongs for any longer, you could see if he is willing to, at least make plans for VC stuff? Like, you both can agree what time or days would best for the both of you!

@BLuE666
I know that it's all annoying, but if he is a true friend, then he should be able to make time for two people. But it's also good to give him minute with his bud. I'm sure he missed them, so giving time for a little bit is all that matters right now

Just gotta be patient, but also try to communicate plans. It helps for situations like these ^^

@BLuE666
(theres this reel that says "Me after givin relationship advice knowing damn well the only thing I pulled is a push door: *starts spinning in circles with pop music*" and I relate a little to much to it :skull:)

@BLuE666
Somewhat funny thing to lighten the mood (when you return)
The other week, my sis and I went for our walk. We passed by this house that always has their dogs barking. My sister points at them one of the days and said "Look! Their hugging! :P"
...They were indeed not hugging :skull:

I'm online atm!

@Nutty_Oaks LMFAO :sob:
Yeah i get it, i just dont wanna look like an āss also
If its your parents causing you the pain then fūck looking like an āss for all i care-
But if you do, good luck man
And hopefully they respond/understand where your coming

@BLuE666
Naw, you're good :sob:

My parents are being a different kind of pain.
This one is with my friend that I can actually text outside of Colors with

@BLuE666
Thanks man, appreciate it

@Nutty_Oaks np dude!
Okay so huge news.. that kinda sucks
Starting march 3rd my moms gonna be working at her new work from home job, which means i wont be able to talk on colors anymore
Unless she finds a new job, which i doubt, this might be the last time you'll be hearing from me, for now. (Not like today but like probably the 2nd)
At least ill be here for ur bday tho :sweat_smile:

@Nutty_Oaks hopefully it womt be a complete year before we start talking again- (bc u said u probably wouldnt download the app until early 2026)
But just in case, my username's BLuE88294
Ill probably tell u it again the day before my mom starts her new

Job. New job
Bruh it cut me off :(

@BLuE666
I mean, summers almost here, right? Hopefully you'll get your switch back by then!
But yeah, that sucks balls :/

@BLuE666
I'll... Probably forget :sweat_smile:
But, I'm excited! I'll probably be busy more often though, due to working, and sometime that year, hopefully find a recruter and join the Airforce.. :thumbsup:

@BLuE666
Okay, so, I shoot that one friend a text, saying that I've felt like we've been distant lately for the past month, and that you ignoring me as grown really big.

I don't expect them to change, I just want them to, why I haven't been sending things lately, and stuff..

And I try to send some stuff that happens day to day that I enjoyed or got annoyed by, it's not like I'm ONLY sending them memes!

@BLuE666
I've just been feeling very rejected by them, even when I try. I asked if I did something, and want to know what. Like I said, I don't expect anything for them (to change themself). I myself, just want to fix whatever happened.

I just don't want to blow up at them because I couldn't communicate.. (I don't usually, which ends up in a LOT of self hate. It's bad)

They haven't seen my message yet. Really nervous rn

@BLuE666
They responded saying they thought they did something wrong.

I'm trying to have an open conversation with bro, and they just shot right back to FCKING MARVEL RIVALS! THEYRE TRYING TO APPEASE THINGS WITH SQUIRRELS. ITS JUST MAKING ME MORE PLSSED!!!

I want to fight so hard, but it feels like I'd be fighting a wall at this point.

@BLuE666
It took everything I had to finally say I was upset, and now they are straight back to their fcking game again.
AT LEAST I DONT FCKING IGNORE SOMEONE IF THEIR UPSET!!
If they wanted to have the same convo with me, I WOULD TALK. I want to resolve the issue!
I literally told them I've been holding internal anger. I told them I haven't been doing my usual responses, because the ignoring part from them feels to often.

They sent two messages at the start, and ignored the rest

@Nutty_Oaks damn what a load of bs
Idk, honestly id just drop them at this point, or tell them off
Like bro unless ur "friend" is dense af then wtf

@Nutty_Oaks but yeah ik you'll forget, lmao
Ill be sure to be as specific as i can when i send you the final details
Oooo ur joining the air force?
Dude im thinking that kam's lying to me, that he says he likes me to not hurt me
He says he's done that before twice, and so he should know better not to do it again, but maybe he liked me before and now he doesn't
Im scared, dude
I don't wanna be hurt right now
I cant be hurt right now

@BLuE666
I was gonna tell them off, but I knew it was gonna lead no where.

I love them, I really do. I feel, so tired though.

Like, I don't want to let them go, cause they hold a special place in my heart, but at the same time, I'm starting to feel to drained to want to respond anymore.

I know they got issues, I understand they can't see why I'm sad and know how to respond to it, but the constent lack of effort they seem to put in..

I know they care a little, but I'm tired

@BLuE666
Hopefully! (at least you aren't telling me not too :sob:)
With how I am mentally, it's probably not the best thing for me. BUT. It has a lot of benefits, and if I want to be a nurse at some point, that seems like the best course of action...

I'll probably start attempting to join by the end of the year.

That way, all birthdays are done, the Japan trip is over, and I can finally move out (my mum wants to ho to Disney with me in January next year, so we shall see :skull:)

@BLuE666
I'm gonna be honest with you, okay?

If he's done this before, on several occasions, he's probably a people pleaser. He probably doesn't know how to say no (depends on how closely you pay attention)

Why he told you afterwards baffles me though. He coulda asked you to sit and say he doesn't actually have feelings

@BLuE666
Things seem like their falling to sht. I can see and hear it in your text.

Your mom, colors, Kam... Thats a lot man.
I wish I could give you a hug rn, you need one. Bad.

If Kam is really your friend, you both should be able to sit down together, and talk about the situation. If you believe he won't leave the confrontation, then please, tell him that this all doesn't make things better.

I know I have no excuse. ZERO to suggest any of it.
But it works when you have a real friend

@BLuE666
*Goes to hug you really tight* If I could, I would do Disney's rule. It says to not let go of the hug, unless the other person wants too. To make sure, to let them know, they are safe, right. It's what my parents (dad) did back in December :)

Lmao at least YOU know my memory can't contain sht XD

@BLuE666
Side thing, back to my thing for a sec (sorry)
Bro, it feels like I'm greaving. Like, it's starting to feel like when I lost my cat last month. It's bad, lmao.
And for the record, they went radio silent when that happened. Happened with my dog a few years back, and my mum says it was because they never experienced it before.

I get it, but still sucks :/

@Nutty_Oaks i did indeed talk to him about it! He says that he does like me but he isnt ready to be in a relationship yet

Whew my fears arent a reality :sob:
I can see why you feel drained. If you know this person isnt bad, and if you know that truthfully, they do want to be your friend, and you still want to keep them that badly, then just dont message them anymore. Not as in ghost them- reply when they message you

Also greaving is tough. And im afraid i cant say or really do anything to help with it.
Just know that just because you stopped greaving long ago, doesnt mean you wont grieve again.
And that its okay to grieve! Your probably greaving again bc you dont want to lose a friend you care about, but might end up having to do

Shereshhh yeah.. probably not the best :skull:
But hey, you gotta start from the bottom to work from the top!

@Nutty_Oaks also, thank you
I would give you a hug also :D
Also happy early birthday! (Again-)

@BLuE666
Yay! I'm glad he's putting up boundarys, and happier that you are respecting them! Just keep in mind, that even if he's ready to date, his feelings might change. Keep that in mind, keep a positive(ish) attitude, and things will go smooth :)

I hope you two get together, you seem to care about him a lot :yellow_heart:

@BLuE666
Yeah. I even know it's horrible, cause they don't like responding first. They don't talk a lot, so I don't know how well this wil go..

They seemed to care when we were first friends. After the past two months, it's been blantily clear, that they can't even send a god damn emoji for anything.

I know it'll hurt them, but they have no idea how many times, I stayed up crying, cause I thought they were going to leave. That they hate me.

I napped all the time, just so I wouldn't block them

@BLuE666
I feel selfish, and that I should handle myself better, but I just can't with this anymore. I'll still do the halfway, of responding if they send anything, but thats as far as I want to go for the time being

@BLuE666
I'd love a hug from you. I love hugs, and I really want one :sob:

I'll be the first to hug you though, just cause I care for whats happening. You need one >:)

(You'd probably love a hug from Kam though ngl XD)

@BLuE666
And thank you! It's crazy I'm nearly an adult...
I'll be opening my Instagram account in a few days too, I'm excited! :D

It just sucks I won't be able to sit and chill with you, till, like, maybe the summer? Ugh.

Ngl, Part of me hopes you get Instagram, just so we can chat sooner. Cause I'm only getting an Xbox app once I actually have my own Xbox account, which won't be for a while *Dies on the stairs pathetically*

@BLuE666
Completely random, but I've been (slowly) playing a game called "Bioshock". They have some music in it thats kinda old timey. Been listining to a bit of it recently, and my god is it relaxing. It makes me feel like I'm just chilling in a cozy corner... It also sounds post apocalypse like, which also is comforting :blush:

I just like 1900 sht, especially the early cartoon style, lmao :skull:

@BLuE666
Please check some of that music style out, even as background noise (not your style I would guess, but I'm obsessed with it rn... and Bruno Mars, both have been relaxing rn, lmao XD)

@Nutty_Oaks oof dude my mom quit her job-
So heres my xbox info
BLuE88294
U gotta download the xbox app and then in the friends section look up my name
Either follow or friend request me either way ill friend u and ask why you did so
If the school unblocks the website ill check in with you
In the meantime though, just know that this isnt a "goodbye"
Its a "see you soon" :fist:

@BLuE666
Damn. Well, Hopefully I'll see ya soon. I'm glad ya almost made it to my birthday though!

Hope to see ya in the summer though. Until then, or whenever I get my own Gmail, I'll see ya soon, bud :wave:

@Nutty_Oaks *my hand just sticks out from some grass*
RAAHHH IM BACK
Just doing a lil check in
No clue when ill reply back to u tho
Also no clue if u left the website or not... erm
The school is absolutely keeping the website blocked, oof
So hru doing??? EEEEEEE HAPPY LATE BDAY BTW

I used to listen to bruno mars all the time when i was little
RUN RUN RUN AWAYYY-

@BLuE666
Naw, I'm just happy to see ya!

@BLuE666
But yeah! I've been doing okay. I haven't really talked with that one friend. I just mentally detached myself from them, sooooooo.. yeah :/

Oh! I got a few games after you left...

I got SonicXShadow Generations, Sonic Unleashed, and just today got all three Sam and Max games for the switch! They have been so fun...

@BLuE666
Okay, so Bruno Mars was a slight hyperfixation for a moment, but now it's Yung Gravy and BBNO$. Been listining to their music, but it also depends if you like their kinda jams or not

@BLuE666
Anyway, what about you? I don't expect you to talk right away, take your time, but how have things been?

@BLuE666
Also! I gained a new fixation. I haven't really had that deep fixation for something since setember-october-ish, so it's been nice. The game is called Sam and Max. I have all three available on the switch, and have been really enjoying the first one so far (Sam & Max save the world)

I've also found a Avi for Max on VRC. It's been great. :innocent:
I have been entering public lobbys again on VRC, though! It's been fun, hanging out with strangers, lol ^^

@BLuE666
Hey, so, I've been considering things: Yeah, I said this last year. Yes, I came back. If you wanna doubt me, I don't mind.

I've been really considering dropping Colors. To be more frank, at least for now, just stop posting. I will still talk with the community, but I will be posting little to pretty much none.

After opening Instagram, and having to take my age seriously, Colors has just been pushed to the side.

I need to work soon. I need to focus on life
(continue-)

@BLuE666
Yes, I could also work and draw on here, but it's not ideal. I would much rather do it on Instagram, where I'm more active and my art can really thrive!

I don't know when I'll stop talking on here, but it will most likely happen next year, or at least at some point

@BLuE666
Man, dude... You were my first true friend on here. Yes, I've talked and hung out with a ton of people before and after meeting you, it's true. But you made me wish I could send you memes, lol

You didn't harass me, or other people. You are genuinely a good person. You are there for a lot of people, including myself with quite a few drama starters... Except Jester, but we ignore that- XD

@BLuE666
I really, really hope we can still be friends after this.
I don't blame you if you think of me different after my birthday, or if I act strangely or even rude, and you need to get away, I understand.
I really do appreciate you being here, it means a lot :yellow_heart:

Btw, how are you and Kam doing? (is that his name..?)
Any updates since then?

@Nutty_Oaks DUDE WE WILL AKWAYS BE FRIENDS :D

also....
Heartbreak hurts.. its absulote hell

He just went along with whatever i said
He never even liked me in the first place

I cant believe he did that to me.. like things wouldve been betrer if he just said "no" from the start

Now im mad and depressed
Not only that but i cried after he hurt me!!

I cried!! I dont cry for people bro

@Nutty_Oaks honestly u always act strange/j
And i literally have other adult friends so... your no exception
And im glad you see me as a true friend
As i see you as one also

I rank you as "Familial Friend" on my friend scale, and thats the highest friend someone can be :)

@Nutty_Oaks also now i reread what you said about me
And... thank you
I always think of myself as a selfish brat most of the time.. but rrading you say that im a good person really makes me smile
And dont go thinking that you arent a good person eithet, bc truthfully speaking you are!

You never harrassed me either, nor did you harrass other people (from what i saw anyway-) and you were always so kind ti othet people
Im so, so fricking happy i met you, and so so so so so grratful your staying my friend.
Also, ive decided that im probably not going ti return to colors anyway
Im too scared to ask my mom fir my switch back and id be too scared to talk to othet people without you being there to protect me if anything horrible happens

@Nutty_Oaks and also im glad i was there! To help you out or simply just put you in a good mood
I will always, ALWAYS want to be and stay your friend

I mean, cmon
Im sneaking onto my moms phone to send you messages that takes me like, forever to even send
If anything i couldve just dropped you or you couldve just dropped me but, no
I care for you, and with all of the stuff that your going through i would love ta give ya a great big ol hug

@BLuE666
:sob:

@BLuE666
OH HELL NO! B!tch, send me his address, I just wanna talk. It'll be fine, I swear :)

I've dealt with seeing someone get hurt over a relationship, over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over....

It, HURTS, seeing ya'll go through shtty people like that... I don't care if you don't like rejection, or are scared of the other persons feelings. UNDERSTAND THE LONG RUN.

HOW, is it SO FCKING hard to grasp that SIMPLE CONCEPT??!!

@BLuE666
You deserve to be mad! No one should EVER just appeal to someones wants. If anything, he's a people pleaser, but could also be a manipulator...

You are worth so much more then to a lying btch like him, okay?

You need SOMEONE who treats you with respect. To not lie, to have loyalty!

Please... please tell me you both arent friends still? I won't force you not to be if so, but.. Coming from toxic relation to another, it's best to leave as fast as possible (that may also be trauma..)

@BLuE666
Awww! :sob:
I treat you like such a close friend, it's not even funny. You matter so much to me rn, and I'm so happy to know I'm able to make you.. at least smile a few times, lmao-

@BLuE666
And just making sure on the adult thing, cause I don't want to assume-

@BLuE666
You are indeed, not a brat! I can agree, you definitely are a mishevies bean, however! You really are a good person. You have a lot of respect and loyalty. Fck it, you risk getting exposed just to let people know you ain't dead! You even let me know about your wearabouts, and honestly, with issues with being left alone like that, it helps... so, so much. You have no idea :yellow_heart:

So yeah.. You are one in a million I would 100%, a good person, and that will never change ^^

@BLuE666
Lol thanks... it's nice to hear that I was alright in your eyes. I do not harrass people, no, I can promise that... hell, I mentioned I was scared shtless about how people would think of me because of some stupid brat I got affiliated with. Ain't no way I could pull that crp! XD

But yeah.. Thank you :yellow_heart:

@BLuE666
I understand. It would.. definitely be harder to defend ya if anything happened. By the time you even GET your switch back, I might just be to busy.. I need to start putting work first, and thats tough...

It sucks. I get not wanting to come back. This place is becoming dead anyway..

@BLuE666
Bro, it's, like, 1 in the morning, I'm on my headset, and reading all of that... I feel I might just start crying in the backrooms rn :sob:

You made me feel so excited seeing your name pop up! Hell, even as soon as I checked colors just now/earlier!

You make my whole day man. I dunno, but... I just really hope we can still connect again after colors. The thought of being unable to is legit, making me want to sob, lmao..

@BLuE666
You are going through a lot though! My crp is just pathetic, heartbreak is real, though! You need this hug, okay? I want to come over there, with all kinds of snacks and goodys. I'm going to makes sure you are all comfy in bed, surrounded by pillows, and blankets. The room will stay dark, except for the tv, where we shall watch your favourite show/favourite character and or play your favourite game...

@BLuE666
And I'm going to give YOU, the BIGGEST, BEST hug, you will EVER feel! I will make sure you know you are still, so loved, even if this loser lied to you. I'll make sure to help and hold the aching heart, till you can find another true, worthy passion...

I really, really wish I could do that...

@BLuE666
On, some news... I've been distancing myself from the one friend.. I barely talk anymore... It's, depressing, but, at least I'm not forcing myself to nap anymore cause of them :sweat_smile:

And my brother... mh online friends HATE him, lol. Like... I could go into paragraphs, but another time... I found out, MORE so on the facts of proof, that... age doesn't apply to people for him on equals, unless it benifits him

@BLuE666
Meaning: He won't give a sht if your an adult, unless it benifits him. Then age becomes a thing -_-

He sucks, hes such a moron, lol...

@Nutty_Oaks gah damn bro :skull:
Ur bother be doin something everytime you mention him :sob:
....im so hurt. So so so fricken hurt.
I was planning to talk to kam after spring break, but then i look through one of my friends lists to see that he isnt there
I go to another game, isnt there.
I realized this mdf is ghosting me
My mom comes into my room to check and see what im doing (its like 2am btw... bc my mom was finishing my hair and also she got food)
I tell my mom im playing genshin impact
She asks why i seem down
I tell her one of my "friends" isnt my friend anymore
Then she asks who, and what he said
I start crying and tell her everything

@Nutty_Oaks like bro this happened LITERALLY LAST NIGHT
(...or early this morning..?)
I cant.. i just cant..
I ASKED HIM IF I SHOUDLNT TALK TO HIM ANYMORE
AND HE DOES THIS.

@Nutty_Oaks my mom said i was supposed to be playing games not having drama with other teens :skull:
She also said this was cruel
And honestly it fricken is
I AM A GOOD PERSON.
EVEN AFTER WHAT I SAID AND DID I WAS NICE TO HIM, I WANTED TO BE FRIENDS BUT NOOOOOOOOOO
fricken asshóle...
Bro donna (woman whos friends with kam) if she messages me back imma just tell her what happened
No clue who she'll defend but like this is crazy

@Nutty_Oaks and may i remind you how i dont cry for other people

When i cried for the first time it was just some tears.. no sniffles.. none

When i cried in my moms arms it was genuine pain

@Nutty_Oaks i shouldve listened to emily... (school friend)
She said to ghost him
But i guess im either naive or just so GOSH DARN NICE that i wanted to stay his friend

My mom said to block him too
This whole experience has also made me realize a few things
Like for one thing, some things just wont work out
And some people are fricken terrible...
And that i dont need to bond personally with everybody
Imma be real rn, im done with accepting anybody else as my friend
Ive been hurt for the last time bro... *some villain ark music plays*

@Nutty_Oaks and that.. now i know who are my friends
You are my friend
Emily is my friend
My friends are people who care about me, and you care about me a lot, so thank you
Thaaaaankkk you :pray:
Literally whenever i see ur replies i smile

@Nutty_Oaks i honestly think of this as like a wound
Kam telling me that it wouldnt work was when somebody stabbed me
And shoved the knife in and out
Me getting some space from him was the knife being pulled out
Me telling my friends was me putting a bandaid on it, but it rlly wouldnt help bc its a deep ahh wound...
Me seeing him ghosting me was when the wound got infected, and when it hurt even more
Then me telling my mom was me getting proper treatment for it

@Nutty_Oaks man.. just know how much i love you bro
I really really do love you (platonically.. if that wasnt clear :sob:)
You are one of the BESTEST of friends i have

@Nutty_Oaks awh sht now ur gonna make me cry :sob:
Honestly i can imagine us both in my living room (that apparently looks like a mansion..? My friends said it did :skull:)
And just like watching sonic snapcube or just like some nostalgic ItsFunneh videos
And heck- YOU REALLY ARE A GOOD PERSON
reminds me of when i had a small lil crush on you
(Well i say small... cough..)
You just straight up told me the truth, and now i appreciate you so much for it
Dude when ur able to get on the xbox app (or idk just have ur own xbox in general) imma just like gift you a whole bunch of stuff in fortnite.. lmao
When i get a job im planning to save up my vbucks till i have 10

10k*
Sighhh it cut off the K

@BLuE666
Broooo, even my friends are tired of his BS. Just yesterday, mf tried arguing to me, about how I help my sister with reading/writing... She has Dyslexia, and he told me that wasn't an excuss for her no being able to do sht herself, like dude... this moron :skull:

@BLuE666
Okay, so, I chat with my friend with a bunch of random subjects. Literally last night, I told em about the Kam situation. He also agrees with how fcked up this is.

He played with your emotions. Just cause your a people pleaser, doesn't mean you are allowed to hurt someone like this... it's fcked up

@BLuE666
I hope she defends ya. This is not some crp thats fixable. And you are a nice person! He knew of your emotions, your feelings, and he fcked it all up.

He never deserved you, this cnt >:(

@Nutty_Oaks LMFAO U CALLED HIM A CÛNT :sob:
That made me laugh
And thank you broski :)
Yeahhh im just never gonna talk to him again bc omg.. :sob:
ALSO MY MOMS AT WORK FOR 2 WEEKS SO BEFORE SHE WORKS FROM HOME ILL BE ON

@BLuE666
I understand. Trust falters when someone hands you a drink of poison, telling you it was made from the heart. It's like they said they handed you a plate of your favourite MnM's, only for it to be a mix of only skittles and reeses MnM's. It hurts, and you don't always realize it's a bad thing...

Trust me, losing trust with somebody... it's so easy to do. Trying to leave, cause you don't want to hurt them/feel a connection still... Thats the hardest part of it all

@Nutty_Oaks i like how now its a "Situation"
"The Kam Situation"
Bro when i become a youtuber someday (yeesssss ill probably force u to be in ar least a few videos of mine-) we're just gonna have this inside joke and like if somethin bad happens we'll just go "Well at least it aint as bad as the Kam Situation :skull:

@BLuE666
Daww, same broski! After so many events after events... I'm trying so hard to not get to attached to people again. Of course, I do trust you, and I mean that. I feel like a fcking magnet to ya, lmao

@Nutty_Oaks you must have been through a lot also then, huh?
Thank you for being here. As good as it feels to vent to my other friends and also my mom you're the one who truly makes me feel

@BLuE666
Homie, you are my FRIEND! You deserve the TRUTH! Will I always tell the truth? No, cause I'm really fcking good at lying. HOWEVER, I love ya to much. I don't have the need to lie, and honestly? It's refreashing. You're, like, one of the VERY (pretty much only) person, who wasn't being creepy or tried to use me, just after you say you had a crush.

This was months ago, so I hope we stay strong enough so we can play fortnite together, lol... (we aren't allowed to play it in my house..)

@Nutty_Oaks well.. getting attached to someone is very different from having a strong trust for someone, just know that if you get insecure about

@BLuE666
YAY YOUR ON!! XD
Bro, I'm so damn excited to see you chatting rn with me :sob:
And I couldn't care less about what I call him. I call other people I hate a bunch of other crp (me and my VRC friends sht talk alot, lmao)

@Nutty_Oaks eugh... i cant imagine how creepy other people coulda been :skull:
I mean tbh whenever i want someone to know i like them i just say it straight up... trying to flirt or anything like that seems pointless if im not sure they even like me back

@BLuE666
Lol! Yeah, that sounds good >:)
I want to have a VTuber of my Squirrel! I want to be them so bad :'

But sure! I don't mind being in some, just so long as I can make time (Military, nursing... fun stuff)

@Nutty_Oaks EEEE IM EXCITED TOO
LIKE BRO I KEPT ON CHECKING TO SEE IF U REPLIED OR NOT :sob:

@BLuE666
F E E L *ambiant echo*

I mean, I've met so many different people who all had some mental effect.. I just have experience, that's all

@Nutty_Oaks oooo omg dude id like to be a vtuber also
I have no idea how to do that tho- :skull:
I might start out as a pngtuber first bc if that
We could just like crash out in fn horror games :skull:
No bc literally fn horror games can be scary :sob:
I love playing those

@Nutty_Oaks IT CUT ME OFF SOBS IN A CORNER
I MEAN FRICKEN FEEL HAPPY :sob:

@BLuE666
Yeah... I was really attached to my one friend who I told you about, the one I stoped texting to. Like, I needed constant validation, I was so god damn paranoid over em, I couldn't handle a single day without hearing from them! It was an obsession, and honestly... I'm just sort of glad I detached myself mentally from them.. :/

@BLuE666
RIGHT!! Bro, I want to flirt with someone to be playful so bad, but I don't want to do that if they don't like me!!!! :sob:

Anyway, yeah, I get that. I really do appreciate the honesty. It helps, it really does.
Homie, I've met so many creeps, it ain't even funny :skull:

@BLuE666
I'm just blabbing and you send texts. I don't need to check. My face is lit bro, I'm so happy to see you texting right now, you have no idea :sob:

@Nutty_Oaks i have no idea how my mom is gonna be like when i play games with other people now
My moms making me take a break from other people (which is fine ig i do need some alone time) but.... im worried
I want her to trust me online again.. and i want her to trust my friends, my real friends
If she could just SEE what we talk about (...actually that might be a bad idea-)
If she could just see how trustworthy you are
:')

@BLuE666
I was just going to commission someone. Otherwise, I'm just gonna use my Fursuit that I'm definitely buying in the future and face timing you :sparkles:
(I just want to be a squirrel, I'm so tired of seeing my face, I just want to be goofyyyyy)

I'd probably recommend asking and paying someone. It'll be worth your money if you do it part-fulltime

@Nutty_Oaks it makes me happy to know your happy to talk to me :sob: :pray:
Im smiling and everything :sob:
Yikes.. well heres to an adulthood where creeps are non existent :skull:

@BLuE666
Lmao I figured, it just was so fcking funny it cut you off, I had too :sob:

@Nutty_Oaks *i just see this unhinged squirrel on my screen* :sob:
Yeah maybe i could pay somebody
It would be neat seeing my artstyle move when i

...when i move.
Bruh

@BLuE666
It shows she cares though. You are getting closer to adulthood, so hopefully she can let her gaurds down a smidgen..

I'm glad you trust me bro. Like, I know I ain't the best, but I'm glad you can be yourself in chat :yellow_heart:

@BLuE666
...I mean, yeah, hopefully I don't meet anymore creepy or traumatic people...
Oh! I did start commenting in other peoples post on Instagram! It feels so awesome to be giving my opinions on things! :heart_eyes:

@BLuE666
But dude, you make me feel so excited! Talking to you is so refreashing after all the constant paranoia and BS...

My brother keeps walking around, avoiding, school work..

Homie is fcking two years behind :skull:

@BLuE666
I want to be an unhindged squirrel PLEASE!! :sob:

@BLuE666
Broooo! Did you see they are adding the game Tomadachi to the switch!!!

I have it on the 3DS, AND THEY ARE FINALLY BRINGING IT BACK!

I so hope I can buy it myself after I move out (comes out in 2026)

@Nutty_Oaks u already are :skull:
TWO YEARS? naur bro is cooked
Im happy i can make you feel positive:

@Nutty_Oaks yes!! Ive seen so many videos of it on yt!!
Honestly im not rlly into it but its pretty cool

@BLuE666
Heh... C O C K :smiling_imp:

Bro, it's insane. He complains about my sister school work, yet he can't even do his.

123IQ MY FCKING A33 :skull:

And you really do! :D

@BLuE666
I get that. I loved playing it years ago, still do. It's not the most exciting game, but it is just something goofy (You could, hypothettically, get Bowser and Peter griffin to marry if you tried to make that happen. I just hope they have equal marrage on this new one, so I ain't playing Omegaverse anymore, lmao...)

@BLuE666
Oh, on my Tomadachi life on the 3DS, Sonic and Shadow are married. They are expecting a baby soon Uwu :sob:

@Nutty_Oaks NAW LMAO :sob:
Is their child gonna be purple..
Hmm sonic better watch out before i steal his man :]
Also mb for late replies... dude this takes forever to load urs :sob:
Im assuming its bc theres just so many replies on this painting that its being kinda slow

@Nutty_Oaks Peter Griffin and Marge Simpson... married at last..

@BLuE666
Maybe try a diff painting? See if that helps?

@BLuE666
Lol def purple umu

@BLuE666
LMAO YES!!!
Bro, tneres some crazy sht you can do, it's funny.

I once made a whole a33 song about mac and cheese in tnat game when I was 12 XD

@BLuE666
Just incase you keep checking here, it's the other one
(I'm just stupid, sorry)