HELP i forgot to add 'daily'
ito just did an hour of working out total and thats how he got so buff/j

Checkcheck check!!
Hi Apo, Love you!!
Hope you're doing alright, IIiii dont really have a lot to say honestly, nothing big has been happening here, so I mainly just wanted to mark this place for telking maybe :)

well i noticed you used fancy envalope bc i opened it and went whatta hale ! thats a map
the letter thing is a bit iffy for now, maybe later when im not in so much trouble
ummmm i drew mila and im liking how it looks a lot i tried soething different with te coloring :] i love uou so much

Millaaa!!!! Godd thank youthankyou i dont know if you can uplaod that lr even take a picture rn or anything butthankyouuuuu!!!!!! Ilove her so much and I live her even more because we made her together <3<3<3
I love you soso much, I am still trying to go to bed soo.. yeah, thats a thing
Good to know about the letter, I'll just have to put EXTRA much into the next one when I finally can send it again! :D

I loveyou so much, I hope you sleep well!
Goodnight!!!

Good morning!!
Hope you are doing alright!
Still in class so cant really write much roght now iloveyouuu!!!

NOOOO!!!! Hell on earth it deleted my message before I could send it :(

Aanyway hii I'm back now Iloveyouu!!! <3<3<3
Thank you so much for the photos I loved seeing you again!!

Iii might be buying a ton of extra rulebooks for this german pen and paper system so uhhhhh yeahhhh, money might be tight for a bit :D

Well, I hope you have a lovely day! I think about you all the time, loveyou!

Oh ALSO so I thought I remembered you saying you had uploaded the Desh-Stuff somewhere on toyhouse but I couldn't find it? Not sure if I misremembered thst but ahh, yeah

Oh ALSO ALSO did you rearrange your toyhouse page? It seems different somehow, I like it! :)

Oh ALSO ALSO ALSO IIIIIII miight be a bitty bitty tiny bit stoned which.. is a thing :))
Loveyouzzzuu

bestie ihave not touched toyhouse since my mom took my ds lol
ill send you mila image tomorrow and iwas thinking . if we arent sure if sending lettters to my house is ssfe, if dice or willow are ok eith it, you could send it there and they could take it to me

also zamn iwish i was stoned rn too HELP its now a habit to say 'zamn' bc my friend in chem does sobbing

Well, only if they are absolutely alright with that, because like, I'd also have to know their last name for that, right? Soooo.. yeah
I mean, I don't already have a bunch of letgers waiting or anything, but it migvt be nice to.. have some way to send them just in case maybe

Wellll, I can kinda see why juno would believe that maybe, and I do think that that could just.. help you probably, being away from all this stress and all for a bit and being able to judt.. gather your thoughts and everything again, it definitely helped me at least when I went to such a place for a bit, it was really nice actually, pretty fun with all the other folks in my same rough age, I am still in contact with some of them :)

But.. well I can absolutely 100% understand not wanting that for a bunch of reasons, it sure sounds scary as fuck as well and the stigma that comes with that doesn't feel too nice either soo.. yeahh, nothing you should be forced to do as long as you are still kinda managing and don't want that
But.. yeah, I just wanted to tell you that it really is a lot nicer than it sounds like, it is nothing to be scared of, I just want to tell you that in case you ever decide to go there
I'm gonna give you some virtual drugs and we will smoke virtual weed together, loveyou! <3

tomorrow is virtual drug wednesday no way

and the letter could be addressed to me but sent to them, thats how theydknow its for me. US postal laws are not very strict

And you are sure that would work, even if thr family name doesnt match the address?
Sorry, I believe you, I just want to be absolutely sure that there wouldnt be any problems.

Well, that would be really cool, but relly only if they would be okay with that and if they aren't thats alright too!
I love you, I might get lit up a bit soon because.. well why not ;)

i want to tell yu something not so great and i think it would be better if you were sober cause well. one time i was high anda friend startedtalking aboutdeath and sh.it and it kinda f.ucked me up so . yeah. if youre already zonked its fine ill just wait until later or something i love you

and about the mail thing yeah itll be fine we still get mail for sammy

Well, I decided against it, so I'm sober and all, I will probably be up for quite a while still

And also I think you can basically always tell me these things, I don't think I like.. would get a bad trip through this coming from you or anything, but thank you a lot for still asking:)

i dont think ill tell anyone else

But.. yeah even if you do not want to, I really really hope you wouldn't not tell me these things because of this pressure I put on you for this, so I am trying not to like.. overdo this while still making it clear how important this is to me

If you do not want to, I will give my best to accept it, but.. I dont know if I could forgive myself if anything were to happen to you

I love you so so much

ill talk to my mom about itafter school ends for good because juno told me that if i didnt show up to school theyd assume i was dead and i feel like dice probably would too

i love you so so much

im going to be fine em i promise you that. im not going anywhere especially when we still have a futurr together

i trust you with all i have i would never keep anything from you especially when its serious stuff like this

Thats in a week, right?
I think that would be a good idea, talking with her about this

Ohgoddd Joseph I love you so so much
Please stay with me
I love you, I think going to bed esrly is a good idea
Please remember to drink and to take your meds tommorow morning
I love you

And I trust you with everything in my life
I love you, I want to share evreything with yoz

i love you ill sttay witth you i love you so much

Thank you thank you thank you

I care about you so so much, I love you
I want to be with you forever

i love you em

I love you Joseph

I love you so so so fucking much
I love you

youll always have me ill always be yours i love you

I want to hold you in my rms and be with you
I love you so so much

Thank you for being here, thank you for being in my life Joseph, I care so much about you

I love you

Do you think you will go to bed soon?

Well, maybe ypu are already asleep, that would be nice :)

I love you, goodnight! <3

yeah im going to bed now
um fun fact ive started drawing a star next to my name whenever i sign stuff because of you <3

i love you so so much em you mean everything to me

goodnight my love :]

Ohhh godd that mean soso muchh to me<3<3<3

Ilove you ilove you so so muchh

Iloveyou
Goodnight Joseph, I hope you sleep well

agh i cant SLEEP because my thigh hurts and i cantsleep unless im facing this side and it burns cringe moments

i love you so so much em i cried just from thinking about how much i mean to you

Godd I loveyou iloveyou so much yeha you men the world to me you mean everything to me ilove youuu <3<3<3

I'm sorry for your leg/thigh :/ i hope you'll find sleep soon
See if we were together I could make you some warm milk with honey and sit next to you and be with you until you fall asleep :)

I loveyou

ohhmygod that would be lovely :] i love you that reminds me i dreamed about you
it was really weird like we were prisoners or something and all we could do was sit at a desk and we each had our own little rooms to sit at the desk and i like broke out and found your room and i dragged you out of the chair and just layed next to you on the floor and we hugged for like hours and it was so so vivid i still remember how nice it felt to just be in your arms and how at peace and safe i felt it was so so wonderful i love you em

You just made me cry a lot from this gldd I loveyou thisjust.. touched something someway I feel about you and need you

Even just after the first line I already thoughr about how wonderful that would be, so like.. yeah, I dont care about the prison, as long as I am with you
And then this.. usbeing together and all it just.. okay iamcryingagain ohhmygodd i loveyou Joswph ilove you so so much

Goodnight my love
I would do anything for you

i llove you em i cant even describe how it felt to be in your arms, even in a dream it was everything and i want you to expirience the feeling too and you will i love you em

Ohhh godddd that would be everything even jzstimagining mademegodown liek a sack of potatoes justnow ohhgoddd I love you I wish I could hold you in my arms ohhh my god I never want to let go i loveyou i need you

I loveyou soso much
I want to fall asleep holding you Ilivelyuuuuu
Goodnight joseph <3<3

i love you so much em i hope i drreamof you again tonight <3

Ill go to bed now
Iloveyou so so muchh god i wouldlove to dream of yoz again iloceyou josephh

Goodnight i loceyou

'oh ill play pokemon for q bit before i go to bed :]' its 1am . whoops
iim a lot more tireed than i thoughtt i was oops gofd damn typpingg on this while half asleep is h ard i love you i fdont knoe when youll wakke upp but good morning mmy love <3 i love you so much god i love yoi my rvryything annd ill always love youu no matter whhat life throwws at uus i may be battered and torn and f.ucked up but im still yours <3 im yoourf ucked up littlle guy aleays and forever

Well, I hope you aren't *too* tired today, good morning Joseph! <3 ilove you so somuch
I love you so so much I want to be with you forever oh youuu <3<3<3

To me, you aren't broken or.. "wrong" or "damaged", you are the most perfect person I have ever met and I love you so so much, you are so wonderful godd I love you!!

And I will be yours forever <3<3

ii love you so much em <3

Ilove you Joseph <3<3

i love you i drew tbh on the board in english and someone recognized it and im known as the person that draws tbh everywhrte

Yayyy!!!! Perfect brand!! <3 <3
I loveyou so much
I've just been walking sround the city sikce you had to go, just strolling around, while it slowly got darker :)

I thought a lot about you <3

my mood/mental state just Tanked to like worse than yesterday for literally no reason lol ! attempting to live laugh love my way through this i love yiu dont get lost in da city

I'm back now!
I love you, I am so sorry you feel this shit again! :(((

I love you so much

https://youtu.be/Gc8SLS72DP0

I hope you can still use this

If you csnt use the link, I could also make it public and give it some numbername, so you can find it

nope i cant use any link now ell oh ell
im laying down now and just taking it easy so you dont have toworry about me doing anything bad

i love you

Okay so it is now called "1872jheb", but if that doesn't show up you can also still just type the link per hand into the youtube search bar, that usually works as well

https://youtu.be/Gc8SLS72DP0

It's good that you are laying down, please remember to drink some water if you are thirsty, I love you so much
I am sorry you feel this bad, thank you for still being careful with yourself
I love you

em 0 youtube links work At all since im using an older ds lol

i lovve you so much em god i love you
i probably wont ssy much about how im feeliing cause if i think too much about it ill spiral again and i do Not want that
i love you

Yeah I mean literally typing the link into the search bar in your youtube app or youtube browser, just treat it like the titel of a video, i just tested and if you do that the first result is my video, otherwise it isn't showing up sadly :(

Or can you not use a youtube app rn in general?

I love you, I am sorry you have to deal with more and more crap now just to talk with me
Oh, is there anything you would like me to tell hellfire, or will you do that yourself soon or not for now or something?

I loveyou so so much Joseph
I want to hold you so tight and tell you that it will al be alright, you matter, you are worth so so much you are a wonderful person, I love you so much

I am so so in love with you
You are such a wonderful person, every day I thinknof you and how much I want to be with you
I love you, every part of you, everything you ever do makes me fall even more in love with you

i cant uuse youtube at all godddd i love you em i lovd you so muvh i love oyu im so so in love with you iif i ws inn ypur arms everything would e ok i love ylu

You will be, nothing will stop that from happening

You WILL be in my arms, I will hold you so so tight and be there for you and you only every day godd Ilove you soso much, this is the future our lives are going towards, and it will be wonderful
I love you Joseph
I love you so so much my star<3<3

auauaua god i love you i lovve uuou i will always be your star i love you em i need yoou

IA

Yeah sure thats what i wanted to say

And I need you my love, I need you so so much every day I daydream about bwing with you every morning I wake up with you as the first thing on my mind I love you Iloveyou i love you sosososo much godd you are so perfect Joseph

How can your brain be such an idiot and not realize that you are the most lovable and most wonderful person in this world???

I adore you Joseph, I love everything about you, I love you so so much

"lA" -em
i loove you em i will always love yiu no matter what and one day we'll be togeyjer qnd im sure of thhat
ive already kind of made a plan, ill save up, get a car, when i turn 18 ill move to my dads apartment and ill mostly be alone in the house since he workd and all and when your summer starts ill fly over there and ill stay idk a couple of weeks probably more anf then we will be together :]
i lovr you so much em i need you

Thats a good plan!!!!
I thought about these things myself and yeah, it woulbd probably fit best if we would then mainly stay/at least sleep at my father's house, since his place is a lot bigger than my currenttiny apartment and there are unused rooms you could crash in
But we could still do it like aggy and I back when he stayed with me for a week or so and still just live in my super small place (if I still have it by then) and just also hang out a bunch outside and stuff and I could show you around and show you the city and I probably wouldn't even have that much to say about it because I barely even ever remember the places names or how to get there but I could just show you places I like and paths I like to walk sometimes and we could hold each others hands and walk around and be with each other

And I will finally make you some european pamcakes then and you can make me american ones and we can compare them godd I love you sl so much I loveyiu I love you I loveyou basicaöly whenever a good thing happens to me I immefiately think aboit how much more fun that moment would be if it was with you goddd youuuuu <3<3<3i3 iloveyou iloveyou soso fucking muchh!!!!

i hope im at least sort of fluent in german by then because it would be super awkward if i was staying at youur dads place with you and i could not communicate with the person letting me stay there lol
we see each other in passing or whatever and we just look at each other like ':l'

ill make you so muvh more than just pancakes ill cook for you like every night :] i love you

Heh, well my father is a very social guy, so I think even if you couldn't speak a single word of each other's language, he would still sort of communicate with gestures and all, I think he would do his best to make that as not-awkward as possible, thats a cool thing about him :)

Goddd I would love your cooking so so much I would love that so much I would eat it all and I would also try to cook for you and maybe not even give either of us food-poisoning in doing so!
I love you Ilove you so so much, I can barely wait to finally be with you, but I will do so for however long it takes for it to happen, as long as I can be woth you at the end, it will all be worth it

ill teadh you how to cook so you dont poison me i love you

Well, you can try, but I gotta stay true to my roots, I can't make food that's *too* safe to eat, you understand?

I love you so so much Joseph
I am so deeply in love with you gpddd Iloveyouuuu

well you wouldnt want me of all people eating some5hing unsafe so maybe just this once you can make good foood :]
i lovd you so muuch im gonna get up see yu later mmy love my eberything

Fair enough, I'll just have to actually be good at cooking for once, but for you I can do anything!<3

Alright, see you later, I love you so much!!!

shoutout to mitchell who very very angrily told me to "just cheer up dude" i am cured

oh um its getting kinda laggy on my end from all the comments so just pick another post