Because why not?
Katamari exists, what I could create does not, people know of Katamari, not of me.
And my mind clings ever so tightly to Katamari, like the drowning man to a raft.
It feels like my core nature is to create at least a few disturbing tales or artworks about Katamari, but the fans, would they tear me appart for ruining their pitiful nostalgia?
I love Katamari, as they do, but I also love things that are... Disturbing, alas, it feels asif fan content, not just for Katamari, but for all media, has to be this sunshine, rainbows, lolipops and fluffy kittens fluff land.
Maybe it's fear, maybe it's trauma, but I just want to F*cking express myself.
And the cretins that live in my mind are telling me "KaTAmArI Is A GoOfY GaMe, ALl ThAT daRk Shlt iS JuSt SuPpOSeD tO bE A JoKe."
And I'm stupid and serious if I actually want to do something I enjoy, let alone post it.
All because of the past, because those critics in my head still think of me as some kind of sick, twisted monster.

And what of it?
I could try to move on, make something original, but everything just feels like a cheap copy of Katamari, that I made to convey the feelings that I want to.
And it even doesn't look like it to everyone else, because I just take the twisted elements, but to me, it feels flimsy, cheap even, compared to Katamari.
And something completely new is no good either, because I can't convey those themes and emotions, those themes and emotions I've been stewing in for my entire life.
It all comes back to Katamari, I don't understand how Katamari is so perfect in it's subtle expressions, so subtle that most don't even know it's there.
But it is.
It was a breath of fresh air at one point, but has now become stale, mostly due to my inability to innovate it, because I'm scared to express myself fully.
I just want to experess.
Express.
Expressssssssssssssssssssssssss.

That passion that awakened when I realized what dark stories I could tell with Katamari is still there, burried beneath all the confusion and conflicting emotions, I still want to express, I still want to create, and most of all, I still care about Katamari, despite the gameplay being as dull as a blank canvas now, I still care about the setting, the characters, the story? Idk if it has much of one.
But I could never bring myself to express even a little bit of negative storytelling, because I know, I've seen the fans.
Almost dillusional, about the true nature of Katamari Damacy.
It's as if the game has brainwashed them into disreguarding all negativity, and they tell me, "Katamari is supposed to make you smile."
So, why does my very core tell me there is something really wrong about Katamari Damacy?
Tell me that.
All this "positivity" that Katamari radiates is superficial at best.
The core of the game is rotten, rotten, rotten.
And the good elements are merely to disguise that.

But all this, could have been avoided, if I could simply be able to express myself, days and days of depresion and frustration, rumination and isolation, all because of the atmosphere surrounding Katamari, and my own little doubters.

Or maybe I'm just a crackpot, a weirdo who has lost their grip on reality a long time ago.