My Secrets by Kevyn

These are some personal matters that affect my experience with the Colors! community, and I felt the need to tell people. First of all, I have social anxiety disorder to the point of not being able to go outside. This makes it hard and sometimes impossible to talk on here. Secondly, I have androphobia, a fear of males, due to trauma. Talking to males even online is extra difficult and usually impossible. I hope you will understand.

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painted on a Nintendo 3DS
09 Sep, 2012, 5:54 am
01:18

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forggoton existence

09 Sep, 2012, 5:57 am

poor thing... not being sarcastic.

orange 6

09 Sep, 2012, 6:00 am

i understand , and if you want ,i can help you over come these opsticles

Neeshy

09 Sep, 2012, 6:01 am

Your just shy. Just remember that your also speacail :) in your own way. Your Beautiful inside in out. You also have a talent like many people whould like to have art. Feel good about yourself

Neeshy

09 Sep, 2012, 6:01 am

fix: and

metroidhunter123

09 Sep, 2012, 6:01 am

im a child male. hope you get over that fear (:

Kevyn

09 Sep, 2012, 6:11 am

Excuse me, but I am just a bit offended... My disorders are not so simple. It was trauma that brought me to this point as a child, and yes, I have been diagnosed... years ago. In fact, I have been a shut-in for over a decade. It is not shyness. Please don't belittle me and try to understand. And orange, I have tried to get over my fears several times through specialised courses and therapy. A random stranger cannot help me overcome this.

Kevyn

09 Sep, 2012, 6:14 am

Thanks to everyone, though. I know you all mean well. Also, I'm not looking for sympathy. ^^; I feel kind of bad about that. I just wanted to let everyone know that it's difficult for me to talk.

chrisstopher

09 Sep, 2012, 6:14 am

I suffer mild agoraphobia and mild androphobia as well. I never leave the house anymore tbh but talk online a lot to try and make up for it and to make it easier for the day I can leave my house again. Also when I talk to males online, I pretend they are female or I never imagine them male. It helps me and I'm slowly getting past my own trauma. I also draw males but make them my own way and recognise they're fake and it helps too. I hope my method could work for you. I kind of understand the point you are at myself though our experiences may be different. I know the difficulty it can be and all I guess I'm saying is that it makes it feel a little better to know others who feel similiar I suppose. Sorry for being awkward myself :/

DreamKitten

09 Sep, 2012, 6:18 am

Oh my gosh! that sucks... I'm sorry!

chrisstopher

09 Sep, 2012, 6:19 am

Also mental illness, psychological disorders and other matters of the mind are very serious. When therapy is involved it is not just being shy :/ The thought is nice but more understanding is needed for such matters.

Kevyn

09 Sep, 2012, 6:20 am

Thank you, Chrisstopher! I'm so glad you can relate; that was unexpected! Hm... To be honest, I have two male friends online, but I always say they aren't male. I can't seem to do that with strangers, though. :c I just feel that I absolutely must stay cautious because they might be dangerous. v.v Thanks for telling me your methods, though. I really appreciate it.

Kevyn

09 Sep, 2012, 6:23 am

Not you, rockman. ^^; Sorry for the slow responses. I meant Princess. She said I was just shy. x.x Sorry!

angelbear

09 Sep, 2012, 6:29 am

I am so sorry. I have anxiety/panic dissorder. I understand how you feel in some ways, it's not that your shy, it's a real dissorder. I will keep you in my prayers. You made a big step by opening up on here. Take care, and God Bless.

chrisstopher

09 Sep, 2012, 6:38 am

I understand that, my close few male friends I never really acknowledge as guys and they understand it. I feel so panicky and I actually can freak out at home too since my dad and brother are here. I love them but I don't even hug my own family anymore. The feeling is awful but my family an even online anonymity helps me. I agree about staying safe since on the internet, I don't even know the faces they share are real, all I can do is have faith in ones that gradually earn trust. But I talk to much I think, it just feels good to get some of this on my chest, wow. You are extremely brave to post this and it helped me a bit too, thank you so much.

Kevyn

09 Sep, 2012, 6:39 am

Thank you so much, Angelbear. I studied panic disorder in one of those courses and it sounds brutal. :c I am so lucky to have anxiety and not panic attacks. I'm sorry for you as well. But there's really no need to be sorry for me. ^^; I feel bad with all the sorry's I'm getting!

Kevyn

09 Sep, 2012, 6:43 am

Don't worry, Chriss. ^^ I am afraid of my family as well. If my step father moves anywhere near me, I unconciously take a few steps away and I tend to wait for him to leave before I can do what I wanted. x.x It's nice to get it out, isn't it? ^^

angelbear

09 Sep, 2012, 6:51 am

Btw, you have a beautiful art gallery! All likes! :)

Kevyn

09 Sep, 2012, 7:04 am

Oh, thanks so much, Angelbear!! You really didn't have to! x_X I hate getting all these sympathy likes, lol... ^^; But thanks a lot!!

Krazy Katt111

09 Sep, 2012, 7:13 am

Aww. That must be awful... :(

Daj09

09 Sep, 2012, 9:51 am

I doubt I understand how you handle your disorders. Society has this idea that people who do not love socializing are wierd and should go out and talk to others until they enjoy it. I always found this offensive. It wasn't until much later in life that anyone ever said that although humans are social creatures not all people want to socialize. And you seem to already understand/accept the detriments to keeping distance from others so you can have the benefits and you even seem to have or at least want friendship while hating fetid, sewn-together lumps of meat (people.) Anyways, I do love this painting. I think its my new favorite from your gallery.

sword master

13 Sep, 2012, 1:12 am

only way I could relate is that I never go outside anymore been like that for two years now

mushroomgirl

25 Nov, 2012, 2:15 am

i feel terribly sorry for you, and chris,too...honestly i dont no wat life must be like for you, but i do understand disabillities, whether or not ur born with them... (i have asbergers autism spectrum, add, sensory intigration disorder, and something else i do not feel comfortable to share with the online public...its awful and embarassing...) and i both sypathize u and wish that u one day may b able 2 leev ur house agian, or at least make some overcoming progress. and i supose things could be worse, u could be limbless and blind, or watever...that wat i always try to think about,annyway. Btw, nice gallery. :) Meow!

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