... if it helps, I care. Self acceptance is so painfully hard to find... And it's really hard seeing things like this happen to people. I hope you come to find that you really are a great and talented person, we're here for ya cuz we know you can do it.
If you need help with talking to someone, i'll gladly lend an ear :'> cuz i don't believe you're a horrible person at all. And I'm not just saying it just because, i really do believe in ya !

Re: yes sure!! Of course you can add me on discord ^^
although I may not answer today or right away since there's a school convention today but after that I will have all the time needed ^^

also I have read your vent and if you ever need someone to talk to I am here for you <3

Aw, I'm sorry you aren't feeling great. I get it's scary to open up, but if you ever do feel the need to vent feel free to hmu and I'll listen as best as I can <3

I know it doesn't always help, but I agree with Blake about you being a pretty rad person. Sometimes we're harder on ourselves than we need to be c:

I'm just afraid of talking. I don't want to clog up your comments with a wordwall of stressful or depressing things. Its like sometimes I don't want this place to know how sad I am sometimes. Sort of want to keep it happy all around but I can't even do that. Everything's so conflicting..

Just take a breath Panda, in and out, first of all I want you to know just how much of an amazing person /you/ are. You might not believe it but you are Precious and a wonderful Person. :)

Everyone has there fault that they need to figure out but often we don't have to do it alone even if we feel like we have to. And the best thing is with each new day a greater chance for Improvement, sure yeah mess up will happen and things won't get better overnight but one step at a time, you just got to give yourself a chance and others.
Here a little thing I do when I'm in the pit of Misery, first I look out a window and remind myself that today is a gift that was given to me and how Precious that gift is. I then I try hard to remind myself that the storm I'm going through in my life no matter how dark and ugly it is /will not last forever. / and I have to be looking for the bright light shiny though the clouds. But most of all I remind myself I'm not a lone, there has been many, many times I felt that way but that when I have to say stop Lying to myself and step back and look at the love that really around me, its can be very difficult but hard ship don't last forever and you don't have to face them alone:)

Panda you might not feel it but you are loved, you do have a Purpose in this life an amazing one :)

You just got to give yourself a chance and others. One day the clouds will break in the storm your going though and you see the beautiful sky, that doesn't mean you won't face more storms in the future but you know you have face them before and can stand Stronger taking what you learned from the Hard ships and maybe from that you can help others who have face a storm similar to your own.

If you want to talk more I can give you my Discord if you like :)

*huge hug* I know sometimes things can be conflicting, and certain times other things can go out of whack. A lot of times, sadness can be controlled by positivity. When positivity overpowers all else, everything always gets better. I fully understand how you feel. I don't like being sad or seeing others be sad and depressed. It hurts me to know that. You know you can talk to me or anyone else that loves and cares about you very much. We'll always have your back. You're a kind, sweet friend and you're a great artist. *hug*

Girl.......I just want you to know you are a wonderful person and there is nothing wrong with you....Life can be very challenging from time to time but there is always light at the end of the tunnel.....I get it, though.....You also need to know that there are plenty of people here that can help you and it is perefctly fine to talk to someone. Finding the right choice opf words can be a struggle, but I know a lot of us here will have the patience to listen to you if you are ok with telling us how you feel.....I do hope you feel better and I'm also here to talk if you'd like. It could be on IG or Discord. Just let me know if you do, ok?? Feel better, Panda...

oh pandaz, i wish i could give you a big hug right now.

itll be okay girl... itll be okay. it wont be like this forever, it cant.
i feel like ive been in a cycle for years myself, some things have gotten a little better, ive bettered myself in some ways-- small steps but steps nonetheless. you can dig yourself out of the hole youre in, just take things a step at a time. i remember a japanese poverb from a book i got in like 2OII: "Even dust piled up becomes a mountain"
all the little steps you take add up into something big.

also, youre not a pig or /anything else/ you think of yourself, youre a nice person who from what i gather isnt treated right. you get dismissed when you vent about stuff irl so i think that further f**ks you up and makes you bottle up more.

---

if youre afraid to post big vent walls on my newest uploads out of fear youre clogging stuff up with depressing vents, you can post them on my older posts! like stuff in #unfinishedjunk.

i could find a specific post (that i can delete later on so no one will see stuff if you want) and you could post stuff there and i could reply on that pic itself or on one of your wip posts in your alt, no folks would see our comments unless they got stalkery and dug around for them. (lol... stalkery... that sounds kinda funny, makes me think of stalker or... ninja? oddly? celery)

irl im pretty much not able to talk about my feelings without basically shutting down (me being afraid ill get yelled at is a contributor to it...) so i know how that feels. it's such an awful maddening thing and really makes you want to just disappear. i hate it.

Re: thanks :3

Oh Pandaz... I'm so sorry you're going through that...
I understand if there's a fear of talking about any of it, but I do want you to know that I, and these other wonderful friends of yours, are willing to listen. I am happy to listen as a friend and pray for you and support you in any way I can. It's admittedly really, really hard to endure those emotions... but you're not alone in this. You have friends to listen and help you, to give you a shoulder to lean on if you'd like it. You are an amazing and talented person with your own life and story, and I know you are worth it.
There isn't much other help I can give except let you know that you don't have to meet everyone else's expectations. You don't have to be what they expect, or please them, or anything else. You're living -your- life, so don't get chained down by what others tell you. I've been stuck in that trap almost my entire life so far, and only recently have I been told to live out my dreams and not somebody else's.
Even if you aren't doing much in life right now and don't see yourself as much... it's okay. Take it easy. Take a breath, move one step at a time, take care of yourself. Why, because you matter. -You- matter. -Shannon- matters. (Yes, I do remember your name, and I still think it's a really pretty name.) My best friend used to tell himself every day that he didn't matter, his feelings didn't matter, his dreams didn't matter. and his image of himself remained pretty miserable until someone finally told him that he -does- matter. And you do too. So it's okay to be loved by others, to let us listen to you and help you with your burdens when you're low. It's okay that you're hurting and struggling, because you're human and life isn't easy, but you're also not alone.
And if we spam you with all these walls of rambling text, then you bet you have permission to send a wall of text to us xD Or just a few words, or whatever else helps. If I could give anything else, it'd be a big hug. I sincerely hope things get better for you.