Detective Pikachu Doodle by AmbyChu
Serious art talk time.
Sometimes I just want to delete my past artwork. Sometimes I want to pretend it never happened. My mind gets plauged by emotions just looking back on it.
Despite this I can never urge myself to purge it all away. I only do this for one reason really. For those who look up to me, like my art or personality I just want to say this.
We all struggle. I still struggle daily almost 6 years later. Life sucks and the moment feels cont.
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05 Nov, 2019, 6:27 am
dreadful.
But then I see the smiles on people's faces when they see a simply little drawing I made. There is something so amazing about art. It's so purifying and liberating.
Therefore, no I won't delete old artwork. Because if seeing that old art motivates anyone that they can make it, it is worth it to me.
Not sure why I felt the urge to say this. These are just thoughts that keep me going and perhaps it will help you too.
05 Nov, 2019, 6:43 am
On a side note while I'm at it, 2019 has been a very wild year for me. My mental state has never been so volatile. Changing schools, becoming an adult and loosing contact with someone I dearly loved. What a wacky swing of emotions.
Most of all I'll admit to this now. I'm transgender ftm. Which is partially why I hate some of my old art. After being so scared to say this for years, it is hard to say this now. But screw it. If this changes your opinion of me, unfollow. That is all I'll say cause it's not a big deal. I've been finally living male since the beginning of this year and I have identified that way for far longer.
Lastly a note to the person I once loved:
I wish that I could still be your friend. I wish I can still be in your life. But if you hate me I understand. My heart still hurts that our past two years together are merely memories. Because I can no longer speak to you, I'll leave this here now if you ever wish to know. Live an amazing life. Don't let our past pull you
05 Nov, 2019, 6:50 am
down and may your dreams of becoming an artist or veternarian come true. I cannot say much more other than I am glad to have known you.
My heart has been healing slowly but hopefully putting this online to merely exist will help my mind rest. Since we may never speak again, goodbye dearest sunshine. Please make someone else's heart grow just like mine.
I'm done writing for tonight now. Hopefully my career isn't burning in flames because of this. Well if you wanted to know how I'm doing there you go. Sorry if this wasted your time ahaha. ^^''
06 Nov, 2019, 2:13 am
i wish i had more to say, but hey!! you've been doing an amazing job staying strong for so long, and i'm sure you can keep going!
and hey, i'll support ya no matter what, even if we don't talk very much
many others will too, i'm sure of it!! :0
20 Nov, 2019, 5:44 am
"hopefully my career isn't burning in flames because of this" there's nothing in here for that I think!
Big thumbs up to you amby-- That's a... noble? (can't think of a good word) reason to keep your old stuff up, and I'm glad you're doing that.-