My dad: Can walk perfectly fine
Me: Can barely put weight on my left leg
My dad: 'Can you flick the light on for me, Sweetie?'
Me: /BOI, I CAN'T WALK./ 'Ok.'
Me: limps over are turns it on /I hope your happy you lazy @$$/
My dad: Continues looking at phone
Me: /NOT EVEN A THANKS? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?/ //procedes to try and stomp upstairs and fails//

^ yikes

Bruh, when I was 12, I was playing soccer and I was the goalie, so a god-damn meteor ball almost went over my head but I backflipped-- (by this time I had become an intermediate freerunner) --and kicked the ball back and it hit the ball back into a girls nose. Now this girl was known to have aggressive/abussive outbursts so she walked over to me with a bloody nose and fncking CURB-stomped my left shin with her cleets, then for good measure she stomped my right ankle once I hit the ground. I got up and basically threw that b!tch over my shoulder and socked her again in the nose before I began limp-running back into the school and into the nurses office.
Worst AND best day ever because I taught that b!tch a lesson and she stopped bullying for awhile but I also got a muddy infected shin...

^ oof