have you ever looked at someone's art and just went "god i suck"? i do that a lot. this looks f.ucking awful to me because i spoil myself.

Aw gee, I hope things will get better for you eventually... :( As for the art thing, I do that too and that hurts a lot of your self-esteem. It helps to call myself out when I find myself comparing my art to a better artist's, and I compare my art to my older art instead to see how much I improved. It's basically an unfair comparison when you base your art worth on someone else's work because they have a different way of practicing and drawing. I know doing that is easier said than done but I hope that gets better with you and the awful feeling goes away...

Your rendering is amazing wow

Also I hope that works out for you

Re: Well if you say that it's a good thing then I'm glad you're having that to help with depression.

And that's a good point, I think comparing art is only good when it's for constructive purposes and not deconstructive, so I guess in some ways it helps :0

And thank you!

antidepressants? i hope they work well for you!

and i never ask this (i should but im awkward and always say something else) but how are you doing? :o

also-- youll probably disagree since we're always our harshest critic, but i think your art is great, ive always liked how you draw (your anatomy in particular has always been notable to me) and in the past couple years your art's /really/ leveled up to where your coloring, shading and lighting are awesome. the anatomy, posing (that can be lumped in with anatomy though), thin lineart, coloring, /shading/, it's all great.

i get the comparing thing though, i do it too and feel bleh about my work afterwards. maybe it's (partially) from that competitive nature shining through in us? lol. the woes of never being satisfied.

it's great to hear youve been doing better :^) im glad. hopefully things stay that way!
and good luck with the personal stuff and family junk. family stuff can be a bit.. much at times.. lol.

and as for how im doing, alright i guess. "could be better, could be worse" sums it up like 9O*/,, of the time for me lol.
my dad's been doing a lot better since he started that new treatment, his cancer's responding very well to it (knock on wood... i dont want to jinx anything) so that's one thing im very glad for.

though-- one of my uncles passed away on the 25th and that's something that's been...well, something. it's hard to comprehend that he's /gone/. i felt a bit closer to him than others (him being both an artist and musician are probably part of why) so his passing's just such a surreal thing to me. --

And same here, until recently I hadn't shown my family anything I'd made in years lol
(I decided to show my parents the beetle I posted on my main for the heck of it)

Most irl don't know I draw, I keep that fact sorta on the down low because most of the stuff I draw is character related aaand I feel like my chars and whatnot would be seen as weird by folks irl. lol

I wish I'd told my uncle about me being an artist now though..

maybe if there really is an afterlife (I used to be sure of that and ghosts but I'm not totally sure of much anymore now) he's aware of it now.

like-- about ghosts, while i was the only one around the house a few days ago, i heard a music box sounding thing in another room (hadnt heard it before or atleast i cant recall ever hearing it), and while i want to think "ghost/ /it was him/" i cant get myself to IOO*/,, believe it... ive always got the thought of "my mind might be f**king with me"

but then i always think of the time both me and another person saw--

--a shadow walk across a wall like II years ago (i think, im not sure when it was, my memory /sucks/ and i hate that) and i dont think two people couldve had their head play tricks with them at the same time so i dunno...
that's the main thing that gives me hope about ghosts and whatnot being real.

an interesting thing about that shadow is after describing it to my mom, she thinks it was her sister who i apparently resemble strongly in ways. (i never got to meet her, cancer took her before i even existed)

ah, sorry for dumping these text walls on you, i always type way too much lol. i guess on here i make up for my silence irl.

Dat as.s tho