Im so depressed I can barely get out of bed. When I get home, I immediately lie down in my bed and I dont get up not even for dinner, despite my parents yelling at me.
It's because I'm slowly realizing that my dreams of getting my own cartoon show and being an animation director will never become true. so many people what what I desire, and they are better than me.
I worked so hard for 3 years now, getting good grades, working on my portfolio, practicing my drawings, but I'm not good enough. I could pass the animation test to get into college 2 years ago and I still cant now.
I just dont think im going to make it. I see the animation students at my school, i'M networking and trying to see what they do in class. most of them drop out, and if then finish the program, they get hard jobs that pay minimum wage and have harsh hours. animation is stressful and demanding.

I really dont think I'm going to make it anymore. I really rather kill myself than live to see myself fail, yet I'm so depressed I dont have the motivation to write a letter, and attempt anything.
I dont drink or self harm, really I just lie in bed and try to forget about it. I should be doing school work or working on my portfolio, but what's the point? It feels like all the energy was zapped out of me. I'm completely shattered.