I’m a horrible friend and I selfish idiot. Why is it so hard to make friends, I just want to have a friend that I can trust and be best friends with, but it is so frickin hard for me to make friends. I’m wayyyy to immature and I’m stupid and awful. I can’t talk to anyone because I’m so afraid they are going to find me weird, disgusting, immature, stupid etc. I’m a horrible friend to the friends I do have, I hardly talk to them and they have to try to talk to me or I’ll never talk to them. I’m so afraid of losing friends but I don’t want to seem like I need their attention all the time, so I don’t do anything. I’m so stupid. I get jealous over little things like when my friend talks to other people and I feel left out because I can’t talk to that person too because that person already hates me because I’m stupid and weird and immature. I envy those who have good friends and I envy those who have good relationships with their friends. I only have one friend at school, but she’s extremely smart so she’s leaving for college her junior year (in 11th grade) I’m going to be all alone. My mind makes me think that everybody hates me and everyone is against me and I’m not worthy of everyone and I don’t deserve to have friends because I’m so pathetic. I’m thinking about leaving Colors! because I just don’t like to be on here anymore. It reminds me of all the friends I had in the past but because I was too stupid I let them drift apart from me and instead of trying to keep being friends with them I just let them drift farther apart until they just left and I couldn’t talk to them anymore. I’m so fricking stupid.
imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry. I m s o r r y.

i don’t what to be here I just want to go away I don’t want to be here why can’t I just disappear. I hate myself! I’m horrible.

Gravity’s not here right now, they’re not okay right now