The inner struggles...oh no....>xc It's back?! They always come back for more, and every time with a diiferent strategy, but the same goal. You'll get through this, just like last time. I know it.

I'm so sorry about that, ceta... :'( I'm praying for you!

I was officially diagnosed with depression in June (ICD-10 code said F32.1 on the bill. Fancy doctor speak for "Major depressive disorder, single episode, moderate". More like recurring). Been suffering worsening episodes since teen years. So yes, they're back

And it's because I lost my love for good. My second love. I've decided to be celibate to prevent anymore pain

Aw, sweetheart, I wish I could just give you a hug... XC I'm very sorry to hear that. I understand how much you must be grieving over this. But, as despairing and bleak as your situation may seem, all things heal with Time. Whenever you can (when you can control yourself), try not to let your diagnosis and tendencies associated with it get the better of you. Relaxing activities such as drawing, though especially prayer, can help relax you and remind you of your self-worth. And one who is perserverant in prayer will never be confounded, finding only comfort, wisdom, and blessings. I suppose when you feel a bit better, I could DM excerpts of that book reflecting on St. Augustinian philosophy whenever you'd like. We could analyze it and discuss its meaning, and what it implies for those who wish to find their "true" selves.

Also, Monomo's account is gone! She hasn't followed me back on Instagram yet, so I don't know whether or not she made a note of it. Her username doesn't pop up in the search bar, her comments are gone, the main Atoll Pod RP posts are no longer there... Perhaps this is a sign that she's moving forward in her life. Do you know if she made a final post before deleting her account? I deeply regret not having been around at the time if so.

That'd be nice to hear of the exerpts. And usually I'm fine but life situations may make my mood crash further than the average person would. So it definitely comes and goes, makes me think I have dysthymic tendencies. I'm doing better today, sane at least, but still sad. I had someone send him a final message on Furry Amino, a "this is what happened, I recognize it's entirely my fault, your feelings are valid, and I'd still like you in my life if possible" message

And Momo did mention awhile ago she was thinking of deleting her account here because as you say she's moved on and ready to delete her lower quality art

It's good to hear your mood has improved since, though I know that it can tend to fluctuate in those with the condition (I actually have depression mildly myself, but I know many ways to cope with it so it seldomly escalates too much), not to mention that everyone's emotions naturally shift at least regularly, if not daily. And alright, I'll start sending excerpts whenever I find my phone. XD
Also yep, just as I figured. CX That's a very understandable thing to do. She IS going to college, and she'd likely still be very inactive here. It's at about this point in their lives that a lot of users leave, as most are adolescents transitioning into adulthood.

Though I've got a feeling that she'll still give this place a gander every once in a long while.

My emotions can be unstable at times. And my cycle does increase the strength of how I normally feel. It has contributed to worse than normal depression. In fact, my worst points recently, I was towards the end of my current cycle but in that stage where it's a bit late for PMS. Mostly from losing Rockus for what seems to be for good

And yet you have those like me too, 23 and still fidgeting on a 3DS xp but I am rather inactive here now

Ah, yes... That time of the month certainly exacerbates our mood, doesn't it? XD
And the reason some adults on Colors! are more active, at least from my perspective, is because they've finished school, at least for the time being. That was your situation when you first created an account, if I recall correctly.

Wait yeah, I was still in college when I started. Then after retaking calc that summer I had nothing to do since I wasn't working for months (and the now ex grilling me to get a job). Now I work full time trying to save to go back to school so between working I have time to goof off

Re: Pfft! Nea and a chocolate Kiss would definitely be something. X'D Although the first two would be cute