i literally told my mother that ive wanted to die for the past forever [not just since the trendy kids started saying it] and that i find myself to be a waste of space and useless piece of s.hit, she literally told me "its a choice". then she said that shes "not dismissing my sadness", but continued to talk about the sh.it that ive been doing and how it hasnt benefitted her. i took a 6 hour nap yesterday because i literally felt myself draining and couldnt stay awake
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12 Aug, 2017, 2:59 pm
i didnt WANT to take a nap yesterday. i didnt WANT to go to bed at 3am. theres a difference between conscious and unconscious decisions...
i didnt consciously decide to constantly feel like i'm less than and idiotic and shouldn't have been fuc'king born
its so hard to find anything that i enjoy anymore because then it takes over my life...
i guess im not allowed to play overwatch anymore...a game that forces me to strive to be better and has some of the most influential characters ive ever seen. one of the things thats brought some of the most joy to me in my life is getting taken away...how nice
12 Aug, 2017, 3:02 pm
this is all because of me not wanting to go to someone's stupid f.ucking wedding that my parents are stressing themselves out over. i f.ucking hate summer break. i hate constantly being in mental and physical pain without it being acknowledged. i despise the lack of care that my parents have for my personal life and overweigh the academic like it has nothing to do with the mentaal/physical/social...
one thing i didnt touch! im still going through 2 heartbreaks at once!! swell!!
12 Aug, 2017, 3:04 pm
im so close to disappearing, guys....i cant do this anymore. my mind cant take this anymore and im already slowly dying...im sorry.
12 Aug, 2017, 3:18 pm
You need to find a therapist, or someone who you can talk to and who can help. Tell the parents of a friend, tell a teacher, anything, because your mother (at the very least) is exhibiting intensely abusive behaviour, and you deserve so much more in life than this misery. Even if it's uncomfortable to pour your heart out to someone, You're obviously in a lot of pain and need help.
Please, there are people who need you to go on. You are loved more than you know!