Im screwed up. Ive never had S.ex, cause im 14 with common sense. But ive thought about it. :l Im very dirty minded. I trust my online friends way more then i should. I tend to forget to eat, constantly. I get really loud when im home alone. I enjoy people hearing about all of my problems. I think kissing is absolutely disgustuing. Children are a waste of time, money, and space. Humans are idiots. The planet doesn't need saving, thr planet will do fine after we end up killing ourselves by our own exsistence. Im brutally honest. I hate religions, but i respect them. I mostly believe in science. I cant paint irl. I started art in 8th grade. Im a rising Sophmore at an art school. I hate myself. Everything I do is either meaningless or just an excuse. I keep myself busy to keep myself from bleeding out. Im uncomfortable around other humans. I have been beat up before as a k-third grader on a school bus. I have attempted suicide when i was 9 right after I saw my dog get hit by a car.

I didnt know what suicide was until i was 12. But when i was 9 it felt so much easier to disapear then to deal with everything. Ive gotten bleach in my eye before. I have above perfect eyesight. I originally made Bear because i saw people doing art trades of their OC's, and I wanted to join in. So i made an OC. I planned on selling Bear multiple times along with other OCs. I love Bears. The only reason my username is _Red_ is because on ChickenSmoothie i wanted an aesthetic username so I used a color as a name, Red (r e d.). All i ever wanted was to fit in. I used to obsess over warrior cat roleplays. Roleplays are hella fun. I wasn't miserable until i met all my depressed gay friends at my school. Only two of my friends actually seem like friends to me. Ginger Ale is a quality drink. Ginger tastes bad tho. I wish i lived in Canada. Im not a picky eater. My cat is prettier then me. I named my puppy, Reese. Im tired, dude.

I--uh.. um i--uh drew you something

Damn
I hate to be unlike myself but i cant top what ki said

Just know that even if i will never get to see your face, hear your voice, know your real life in person, i will still trust you with my deepest thoughts and will give my heart to you. I dont care whether or not you hate this or hate that, i will keep whatever you hate farther away from you and i will respect your opinion. I would never leave you on purpose and will always and forever wish you a wonderful life no matter what happens. Even if youve lied to me, i can respect that and i will forgive you no matter what. You could honestly hate me and i would still love you anyways. It's just what i do, it's the other part of me. I swear if you saw me at school you wouldnt recognize me because i act so differently than i do here. I battle with whats easier- do i be the concerned for everyone colors person in real life? Do i be a sarcastic asshole on the internet to fit in with the other trolls? Tbh i always have to stop myself from any kind of self harm. I always feel i need to be punished no matter how many times i tell others they dont deserve any kind of pain.
Dang i got off track... Sorry.
Anyways, we actually share a lot of this here. I love horses and hate sex, im surrounded by dirty minded people and get bullied more often than i'd wish (though by now it's just my own thoughta bullying me... If you get a therapist, could you give me the address?)
Dont be afraid of the truth around me. I can never get myself to say it because there are too many things i want to say and it all gets tangled up. Just be glad youre not afraid, and remember that whether my wifi is dead or not, i shall be your a child :) <3

(And also, i can kinda relate with no sleep. I keep either becoming hyper or having a breakdown at 2am all the time)

Heck.

Red, its okay.

Everything that you hate about yourself, you need to forgive yourself

Focus on what you like about yourself instead, work on the things you don't and forgive yourself

Wow....I'm just gonna say it right now, you beyond brave for doing this. You have no idea how much I aspire to be as good and honest of a person like you. I..heh can't even put it into words. Your so light about something this deep and your so honest about it and I find it so courageous that you trusted yourself to just let it all out. You don't even know me but I just wanted to tell you that your one of the few people in the world who are just so good. Don't have much to say except your a wonderful person and never lose sight of the good in ya.

if you need someone to talk to, you can add me on skype, discord, kik, or here on colors. just please be safe, know that you are more of an inspiration to others then you believe

--
"When everything is going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it."
--

We're all here for you, Red. You're not alone, and I, and a lot of others, really care about ya.

Stay strong <3

I made you something <3 I'll post it when I have wifi again :3

Have an amazing day my friend. <3

here for you :] hugs