-saved his life from a spot of trouble he got from people online. Yet he's not happy being with me? I loved him so much I made sacrifices nobody should've made. Yet he can't handle us for some reason. This is why my mind and heart are conflicted. Why this is the worst depression I've ever had in my life. I was seriously considering... that.... and that's why I'm getting professional help

I've barely eaten all week. Yesterday I went 24 hours with a small slice of cake and an individual portion of yogurt. That's it. My mental health is gone

I understand it hurts.

But. You should never make anyone your whole life. Because when things like this happen/if they happen. Everything crashes down.
You can and will get through this. Your stronger than ou give yourself credit for Ceta.
Trust me when i say this, making someone your everything, is great But if something happens, it breaks you. Someone can be everything to you without being well EVERYTHING

You can do this.

I believe in you

Winchester: I'm aware of this. That's why I'm never dating again. My mental health can't take another beating

Hey, I know how hard it is to be taken away from your life. The one whom you put all this trust and love in just walks away, and I know it's like daggers piercing the heart. I'm about to say a few things, but please don't take them in the wrong way...this is just some things I like to consider.

He is definitely NOT one fish in the pond. You love him so much, right? Even if he may not requit that back, who says you can't stop loving him? You can always be nice and kind to him, and he never has to know, because you know how much he means to you. And you know that love is always for the other person.

Things like that happen...and maybe if it really was meant to be, one day you two will get back together. Maybe he's struggling with something...maybe he needs time. Whatever it is, time will mend all wounds.

I'm sorry if this doesn't really help. You don't have to listen to this, but it's just some advice to make you feel better.

I'm so sorry about that Ceta, I wish I could understand your feelings fully....
I wonder why things like this have to happen, and when they do it seems like the world should just end. But, I don't know, a decade later you may look back on this and see it as so small, so insignificant compared to the extent of your life. If that's the case, nothing good can ever come out of ending your life over this matter.
I know that a broken heart may not fully heal, but never make a rash decision because of it.

Also, a lot of people believe that there is not always good in the bad, but if you believe in God, there is still the hope that things will turn out for the better. I don't know where your heart is with Him right now, but you can always come back to Him if you need something to hope in.

I want to show my love to him as a couple and he won't allow that. I want to hold him and kiss him. Not that he liked that when we were a couple... but that's besides the point. He seemed pretty sure of this being permanent. Our mutual friend even said so. I thought I'd need therapy to fix my issues to help us. I need it for myself now. He claims he has his own issues to work on but idk if that's truth or excuse

I don't really believe in God or trust him anymore. I'm more agnostic in terms of religion after everything. I was so desperate I opened my Bible and prayed to bring my love back for good and to fix the issues that keep popping up

I know the pain of your lover leaving you, but, your case seems a bit more severe. I don't really know where you are in your life, but I know that you're in pain. I'm really sorry that this happened to you, but maybe this is important.

I know you love him a lot, but perhaps this is to prevent you from getting in a bad relationship, since it doesn't really sound like he cared much, and that could make married life very very hard. Sometimes relationships aren't meant to last, but maybe this is so that you can find the one who is meant to last.

Or, this could be an important part of your relationship, maybe if you two can get through this, and he learns of life without you, maybe he'll come back and together you'll be stronger than ever.

It could go a number of ways, but I know things will go up. It may take awhile, but you will be in a better place ^ ^ from my break up, it was really difficult, but through it I learned many things.

I've seen God's plan work out in my own life as well as others, and I know hw's working in your life as well. I know you feel separated from God, but he is really a master writer. Just like in a story, you are a hero, and you'll go through cjapters and pages, each with a different tone. Some times it isof peace, and other times it is of trials, but all of those work to help the hero unlock his potential, become strong and defeat their enemy.
Look back at your life, look back at the struggles. They may have been tough, but look at the good that has come through them, the lessons you learned, that helped shaped you to become a good person. And the battles you face in life, help prepare you for later, so you can triumph.

I can feel God's love for you, and I pray that soon, you will feel it too. ^u^ He really loves you Ceta, he loves you more than anyone, you are his precious princess. And when you go through tough times, he will comfort you through his words, the words of life. Love you

I'd love to see a miracle that lasts, I'm starting to pray in desperation. I want God to change our hearts to bring back the love we once had. Fix our personal issues so we don't fall in the same cycle. Let us be happy together like my daydreams from the good ol' days that are now gone. I want dearly for this to be trial and not just the end. But idk how much longer my hope can last. I want his last name. His children. Our future together. To be his partner. A better life for our family than what I went through growing up. I want no one else. It's gonna be him or a forever single, celibate life for me. That's it

I've been in your boat too. Had a girl that I was with for 2 years break up with me (we had talked about getting married too). It's definitely painful but don't let the hard time you are going through keep you away from your family and friends. It's good that you will be able to see someone who can help you through this time. Just know that it does get better with time even if it doesn't seem that way now. I never would have met my wife and had my beautiful kids if that relationship didn't end. You never know what the future has in store. Hang in there and trust that God has a plan that's even better than you could imagine.

I don't want anyone else though ._. His birthday is the same day as my sis in law but the year after. He and her are both redheads. He and I have just 9 months of age difference like his parents. He had a family wedding on the exact same day that my brother got married. So many coincidences it's hard not to have my mind wander with it

Well my love, I truly hope you find peace, it is very understandable how hard you are taking this. You felt close to him, like he was your other half, your conpanion, and suddenly hes not there. so it is understandable how your mind and soul is reacting.
I truely, truely am sorry this has happened to you, and I prey you come out strounger, and hey, maybe one day find your soulmate. Right now you just focus on you, no romances, just you and your family.
Good luck my dear, god be with you.

Hello! ^-^ I'm so terribly sorry for all you've been going through lately, Ceta. XC It seems I've arrived a bit late this time and most of the kind users in this comment section have uttered the majority of what I want to say. But remember this (I do not clearly recall whether I've told you this before): strong (negative or painful) emotion normally (and unfortunately) tends to be a person's say-so in the role of faith. This does not mean I take any of the sentiments you are experiencing lightly, as these are only natural for what you're struggling to endure (you just need time, healing, and time to heal). Do not lose sight of God when you are so near to Him. To quote an in-depth analyzation of the Book of Lamentations (Old Testament): "By recalling their experience of the goodness of God in the past, they (the Israelites) were also able to hope for the day when God would lead them back to their land to rebuild their lives in faithfulness to the Covenant."

I saw that you said you dont trust in god anymore, honestly I think right now, you could use his love. Leave religion out of it, just prey to god, talk to him poor everything out, he will listen, and if you let him, he will help you.
But you have to let him, meaning, let go of the things You want, what You want to happen, because if thats not gods plan for you, your life will never work right.
You cant tell god what to do, but if you trust in him, and look for the signs he gives you, he will always be there, and always give you what you NEED. 'His time is not our time' that is something I am learning right now. We "mortal humans" want things now, and how we want it, gods just going 'I am showing you what you need, what is best for you, what will make you the happiest in the long run, not just for now'
It hurts him when we do this, when we act like spoild children (not say thats how you're acting) but what we want, isnt always what we need or whats best for us.

And to quote Ecclesiastes directly: "sorrow is better than laughter". Though this is intended in that there is a time and place for everything. Sorrow and grief are what make joy all the more valuable in this life, and it is only through trial that we can truly appreciate happiness. We must bear our cross, for we know (or don't know, as in can't begin to comprehend) what inexplicable joy awaits. Keep going. Was my vision all for naught? The one I had last year among many others, of you, Monomo, and I truly being sisters in Christ, rejoicing together in Heaven for goodness' sake. :D You can do this! Keep praying, and I'll pray right alongside you as always. Above all, make sure to listen to what God wants, even if it isn't exactly what you want.

Man, Blue, you partially beat me to it, cousin! XD
Also, @Ceta Might there be an opportunity we can Skype soon? :o

I'm not trying to preach, I'm not a religios fanatic, I actually don't like religion. But I do have a close relasionship with god (least I think) I know its hard in these times of hardship and heart ach to have faith, but if you really reach out to him, he will help you, you just have to be patient.
I wish I could help more, I have never had a boy friend, but I am very observent and do know things, from watching my parents and other people, this will pass if you let it, try to just let him go for now, and if it is still weighting on your heart, and its not just l.ust, then Maybe, it will be.
Your don't have you reply to this, don't have to take it as advice, I just felt I should put it out there for you. I think every bit can help, and if one word helps you, then I've done my job.
Again I wish you all the luck, I will ask god to help you, no garenties it will help, it all depends on you, but I do hope you can find your faith again my dear.

@Whale You basicly said the words I couldn't find, I may have started first, but you said them right!.

@Ceta. Maybe...maybe if you are feeling draw to read the bible, and turn to god to help because you feel like nothing else can help, and maybe if both me and whale are saying 'go to him'.. maybe he is reaching out to you. Just a thought.

When you feel better, you had better eat the biggest bowl of buttery, cheesy, saucey, yummy pasta you have ever eaten in your life!, then have an equaly big bowl of ICECREAM! and maybe some cookies!.
Then go buy a puppie, a kitten, a lizard, a bird..maybe two, and a LAMA!.

Oh, Ceta I'm so sorry! I know how much you treasured his company. I don't know what all I could say that hasn't already been said, but things will get better, in time. I hate to say it, but by the looks of things, I think him dealing with things in his life alone is the best thing for the both of you. He may love you, but if he's still unsure, he needs to figure it out before you move on. I know it seems insane. I know you want him around. After all, he was your love (And still is). But sometimes the people we love aren't the ones we're meant to be with. I wish I could say I didn't witness something like this first hand, but I have. It shattered her world, but she recovered. And so will you, doll. Brush off your shoulders and stand tall! You are worth it. God loves you, hon. He'll find the perfect one for you, whether it be your man, or a different one. You'll be the happiest with the one he chooses. <3 I'll pray for your relationship to get back together, just remember, God's timing

Update: I'm getting therapy and antidepressants, my mom knows I had pockets of wanting suicide. I'll probably be healed. My relationship outlook isn't looking too good though

Give yourself time to heal before any thoughts on relationships. Don't rush into any, but don't rule it out, probably better just to forget about it for now, untill you are healed, that way you don't create more wounds or make walls.

Thank you for keeping us updated, we all love you and want to make sure you are okay!.

I'm too distrusting and injured to even want romance ever. Let someone in to break me again? Noooo

I think I needed a father figure and a real family and leaned to the wrong person for that

The very best advice is from the previous comments. Please feel better and know God works in His mysterious ways. Speak to Him and He will give you peace to get thru this hard time in your life, you are never alone. May God Bless and keep you Always Safe, Healthy and Happy, with Love, Another Friend

I'm sorry but I cannot go to God at this time