i know this song?? and again, seriously dude, just talk to me or somethin of somethings bothering you ,_,

If you can read things that i dont give words to, you may have figured out i've been crying... a lot. if you cant tell from my previous paintings. I draw as i do. I dont plan stuff. I just... do. It is both good, and bad... that isnt the point.

my heart aches. i dont know how to feel. im a mess. my mom is trying to make me take AP classes next year. I cant f-cking sleep, and people are starting to notice. Im getting pissy cause im a spoiled brat with a perfect life, I SHOULD BE HAPPY. I have everything i need here! But im not? Im tired, and i want to dissapear... i want to fade, not die, but just fade.
im going to start crying again, like the 14 year old baby i am.

please man,,, i may be younger and less experienced with the sh*t that happens but im here to at least try and calm you down. if it werent for that dam.n post limit i could put something onnmy vent acc

Plus, i see my crush everyday... but my mind, it wont stop. i-i cant stop thinking. its what keeps me awake at night, distracted during the day, and quiet around people. I cant stop twitching, i cant stop, i cant STOP. No wonder no ones ever liked me. IM A FREAK. IM A NERD. IM A JERK.
Why cant i just change?! My own MOTHER doesnt like me anymore. YES, she 'loves' me. BUT, she doesnt LIKE me. GET IT? MY OWN MOTHER. EVEN MY FATHER GETS PISSED OFF AT ME WHENEVER I BREAKDOWN. I cant HANDLE it.

Wulfeh, i see your comments. Thank you. But i cant proccess this stuff right now. I hold everything, and i tell no one but the internet. Im an idiot.

i made you a quick thingim sorry if im bothering u

re:
you were _Red_
and you liked me bc racist
and then u touched me platonically
and u were really racist

imsosorryineedsleepomgidontknowwhyievenknowthatsonginthefirstplace

Here's the thing Red....keep putting it out there...to the internet....to anyone that will read it....just keep putting down your feelings....you're young, and you might not believe this now, but it seriously will help you! I have a granddaughter that was diagnosed as being Bipolar, ADHD and Schizo-manic something, when she was about 9 years old. She was having a LOT of issues till we finally hospitalized her. The first meds they put her on, made a Zombie out of her, finally they got her on meds that helped, she stayed on them till she was about 14 or 15, then said she didn't want to have to take meds the rest of her life, so...no more meds!! She's 22 now, and doing great! But here's my point sweety.....we never his her problems/disease. We was open about it and even made jokes about it...laughter really is the best medicine.....but she says that being able to talk about it, even if it was to the internet, is what helped her the most!! At 14, you don't see the light at the end of the tunnel, but honestly, there is!! As you get older and mature, you will start seeing it. So please, hang in there!! And I know you said you don't talk to others much, and probably are thinking "why would I want to talk to this old woman", lol, but...I'm really not that "old", my grand girls tell me I'm not allowed to get old, lol, I am a young at heart, very cool Mema, my girls will tell you so, you can talk to me any time sweety!!