okay
i haven't been very active lately
school is seriously getting to me and i'm in the process of moving

i haven't exactly had the most time or motivation to draw on here recently except for that english one

i'm trying really hard not to crack from all the stress but its starting to get to me

not only do i have school and i'm moving into my grammas house where i have to sleep outside in a motor home that barely functions

But my dad is depressed because i wont let him touch me cause i've been scared of him most of my pathetic fifteen years of existing on this planet

Okay okay and get this

When i want to kill myself and need a therapist
When im willing to go cause i know i need help

I cant because i don't have the papers my old one gave me

BUT when i have a silent psychotic episode in my german class for two days in a row that could have left me with a serious injury
Then suddenly i have problems and my mom makes an effort to help me when i've already given up and dont care anymore

And im talking this got so bad that i wanted to claw my eyes out so i didnt have to deal all of the crap people have been putting my through

Im just tired okay

Why the hell cant they see

Im
Just
Fu.cking
Tired

Im sorry i know i dont usually post crap like this here but

I couldn't post this on my vent account because all of you deserve to know whats happening

Maybe i'll be on more this weekend