but they are still making me go through this last third year because they think i can do it, but i know something will go wrong and i've been obsessing over that and because of the way 6th and 7th grade went. I keep worrying about jinxing it and I cant spend a second being happy without forcing thoughts upon myself. I am just so tired and I know somethings wrong with me and itll never go away. I get so jealous when I see my friends getting help, getting accepted by their parents... and i am still stuck here in the same spot.

So i dont even know if I even have OCD, even though I have all of the symptoms. It doesnt matter anyway because I will never get help. I feel really bad talking about having OCD when I dont even know if i have it, and it is haunting me.

I'm super sorry.... I understand what you're going through, to some extent. My mom and I talked, and we feel like I have OCD, and we are gonna get me tested soon. I get these negative thoughts or ticks in my head and I just obsess over them to the point where I convince myself some conviluted thing is real, and it stresses me to no end. And I have to do things in certain orders or patterns, otherwise my anxiety gets set off and I'm nervous something bad's gonna happen. So, if you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you.
What helps me a lot is to visualize my negative thoughts, then attack them (like my picture where I kick my negative thoughts in the face). I can't explain it, but treating my stress as an object as opposed to a concept makes me feel empowered, like I have control and can win against them. You can try it if you'd like, it may help.

As for your parents... I'm really sorry. I do wish they'd take you more seriously, your mental health is important.
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Problems like these should always be taken seriously. Being professionally diagnosed is important, but if you've done research and experience all the symptoms... well, all that's missing is a doctor's confirmation. Keep a journal of your nervous habits and obsessive thoughts. Be sure to date and time them, too, be detailed. This will give you solid evidence of your condition to show to yournparents and a medical professional.

Remember, you are important! Your feelings are important! Your friends love you and want to support you! Please talk to anyone you can trust when experiencing troubles. I really hope you can convince your parents to test you!
(My parents weren't always too keen to the idea, but they've since come around.) You never know what will happen, so don't lose hope.

As for magent school (I have little idea what that is), pleae try your best. I know that obsessive thoughts make everything seem terrible, so again, focus on the good and try to empower yourself (Cont)

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Punch those obesessive thoughts in the face. Release your inner Shia LaBeouf and tell yourself you can do it! Granted, it's not a permanent solution, but it can give you a nice energy high to help push you through life a little more.

I believe in you. It's going to be hard, harder than what many people have to go through, but I think you can do it! Love you, friendo, I really hope things look up soon!