i try being happy so you guys don't have to deal with me like this but i'm slipping and about to fall

so no i am not okay
but i'm trying to smile

i don't want to talk about it
but i need someone to be there for me

my mom is never home
yep
my grandma is dying
mom is at her house

yeah

a look into my life where i rarely see my mom, think if people ingore me i'm annoying as hell or hurt them, believe i'm not good enough for anything
and
keep falling in holes cause people push me