Hello.

Lay your feelings on me if you want to.

Please, don't think you're a attention wh'ore. Everyone needs a lot of help at some point, heIl. Even I do it right now. And it sounds like you're about to have a panic attack, I gonna tell you how how to handle with it. /at least, it works for me./ Since you're at the stage of shaking, go to a comfortable place and take deep breaths. If you start hyperventilating, try your best to stay calm even it's hard to do so. Try not to panic more if you're feeling you can't get air, lay down, breath trough your stomach and try to empty /or as much as possible/ your mind. (You can do that too with shaking.) And I know, life can take sudden turns. I've been at the point I regret everything what I've said. But you got to keep in mind you're just human. The most perfect being would still make a lot mistakes. We all forget and forgiven, although it doesn't always go so quickly. Just keep hope up. Please don't think about death, ever. You got such a long path to go. /Gotmoretosaybuttoolessroom/

It's doomed to be a lot of obstacles, but you can fight trough it. Please hold on, as cheesy as it sounds, a lot of people do care for you. It's simply the truth. Even your brother would if he would care to show, he's just going trough the stage "I'm being a as'shole to be cool". I can't give advise since I'm only child. Maybe try to ignore him if he does something stupid again, you have to deal with him for a longer time. I would try to repair the broken relation lines between him and me if I were you. But it's more than understandable you're putting up the same act against him, I would probably do the same. You don't sound like a di'ck I'm trying to say. Also about the selfharm, I do it too. Everyone says not to do it, but in my opinion... As long you're not going to spill bl00d and calms you down and talking doesn't feel like would work. Do it if you need. As fu'cked as it sounds, but try using icecubes or something like that. It's the safest way, I might allow it but I want that-

people do it safely. I really do care. About your mother, depresion and panic attacks is hard to understand. My mother finds it also hard to deal with me. She has caused a lot of panic attacks. I don't know about you tho. Try to go to someone you know that also had/is dealing with it. They can really help you. But I heard your mother doesn't believe you often, do you know why?

//Internet is knocking me in and out. Please don't think I ignore you if I go offline.

No need to be sorry, I just needed a answer and you gave one. I don't know too well how to help, but I advise to ask her why and to talk about it. If you need back up, Jack sounds like a good friend to ask. /I remeber slightly you said that once, I'm not too sure/

That's all I can do, I hope I helped.

Even in the slightest.

You will be always more than welcome. <3

Oh god, I'm tearing up. I'm just so glad I could help you. I'm never like this.