Cao Ren fought in the great Yellow Turban war, and united China with some of his best friends at his side.

For example...

Giant-purple-shoulderpads man, who uses a wreckingball as a weapon.

A creepy old guy who was probably... Nevermind... But he had a massive sword and was like, the third coolest guy. I'm the first, and shoulderpads is the second. Shoulderpads invited me out to a feast, Old Guy didn't do anything other than say borderline sexual stuff to me every time I accomplished something.

thanks old guy.

Then my other two best friends were two totally generic soldier men, whom I defeat atleast three of each battle...

Or as I call them, Randos.

I was friends with two... Actually, I think like, four to five Randos.

I don't remember.

Then there was cool leader man I liked, but he showed up, like three times.

(continued)

During the counsels I'd be like, 'sir we don't need better relationships between the officers, we need attack damage'

Then THAT ONE GUY is all like, 'that's a ridiculous strategy'

Then Cool Guy is like, 'SHOULD A LEADER LISTEN TO HIS OFFICERS'

Then I'd get extra attack damage from somewhere, and I think we was actually my cousin or something?

My guy was good at five things.

Slapping stuff with a haunted magic speed trident (that shot lasers)

Running inhumanly fast.

Swimming like a dolphin.

Jumping up sheer cliffs.

you put those all together and ya get the last thing.

Knowing how to have a good time.

Oh and he had a wife too.

did i mention to dosiee-do?

i didn't

There's one move were he swings his trident like a lasso and moseyed forwards.

It was my favorite move.

It needed to be said.

The ending cutscene was very cute.

Adorable evening with Waifu..

Training up new Soldiers...

Having a celebration with the Randos...

good times.