(continued from description) "...to start work (i had a job ready for me but no one cared enough to take me..) im not allowed online either, for school or work or drivers ed, ANYTNING. my aunt wants me no where near a computer and will kick me out if she catches me. im a pet rock at this point, i never do anything b/ci CANT do anything, and everyone says 'ooh, youre almost twenty years old, kids your age are halfway done with college and have their own appartment and can drive and here you are being useless!!' well 'kids my age' got the support they needed to get that far. u want me to grow up but you wont let me by teaching me what i need. i cant even go to counselling because no one takes me to appointments. they KNOW i have them but they wont take me. ive told everyone my life story and they have no idea how to help me ive asked so many people and no one has answers my case is useless and i want to die." (cont)

"to clarify one more time since people whove tried to help overlook these details: i have NO friends, zero, not one, and theres no one around TO befriend, theres no one my age, or anyone, nearby. i have NO family, besidesthe abusive ones i live with. i CANT get help, theres no way to get to the doctor. i CANT GET ANYWHERE because no one will take me, there are no buses, no shuttles, no carpools, no taxis, no cabs, NOTHING and i CANT WALK because EVERYTHING is over 30 miles away from where i live." (cont)

"one last thing i left out: me and my aunts relationship CANNOT be fixed. ive given her many chances, but she goes out of her way to make me feel miserable anyway she can. she was yelling at me one night for no reason and i told her to leave me alone. she was so mad she kicked me out, and by the look in her eyes she wanted to hit me, and if i hadnt done what she asked, she wouldve. theres no reasoning with a person like that. its not me, its her. ive had a dream about her giving me a noose for my birthday. she doesnt want me, she's bluntly said that she hates me. theres no way to misinterpret it, this relationship cannot be mended."

INSTRUCTIONS: Comment below with advice for @thingamajig.

If you have the chance to give phonecalls, try finding online a phone number for child services or something you can call because I would love to help you but heck, with all you said, I can't think of anything; I've never heard something like this before. Only specialists can help you at this point. If you need anymore help to find a phone line or whatever, ask me; I would like to help the best I can.

And yeah, if even those people can't help, do like the other one said: call the police. ONLY IF you can't reach help from any "child support" line.

Your options are very limited if you live so far from everything and have no transportation. You can stay there where you know you have a roof over your head and bide your time until an opportunity presents itself, or you can leave. If you have access to a phone, there are both federal and local resources for people who are not yet homeless but are going to become homeless. You can find out what resources exist in your area either by calling or by providing an online friend with your location and having them call. But obviously this is a big step and you'd be out on the street during your long journey into town or wherever the resources are. You've gone days without food, but this would be harder because you'd be exhausted after the traveling and not getting much sleep from sleeping outside. This would be a huge step and potentially dangerous, but there are places that take in people in abusive situations and can help you get a job. Weigh your options carefully, but know this is one.

Also, besides your aunt, does anyone else you live with have a car? If you could work on winning them over, maybe they could drive you. If you are able to locate resources by having a friend online use resources.hud.gov or by calling homeless or abuse assistance in your area, your aunt may even be willing to drive you to the shelter if you tell her it will finially be a way for her to be rid of you. In that way, you'd actually be using her hate to your advantage. But, even if you do this, don't hate her back. People who hurt others are often miserable inside and hate themselves.

In the mean time, while you make your decision or contact using a friend on Colors who has a computer/phone, try to be calm around your aunt. Don't fight or disagree with her because it may trigger her emotional instability and internal hurt. In a way, she's like a wounded animal that snaps and lashes out. You have to tred carefully to not appear as a threat. So practice not letting her actions phase you and tell yourself that doing what she says is only to keep the peace, that this is temporary and that you are not betraying yourself by doing this. She is only human, like you.

I realized that I spent most of my time explaining options if you're ready to leave, but that might not be the best option, so here's some advice for while you're there: Emotions are contageous. Your aunt's negativity can make you negative and then you spread it back to her until you're both caught in a cycle. That's why you need a way to be optimistic and lighter, to combat her emotions. What I'd recommend is faith. Having faith that things will work out and that your suffering is temporary will help you make it through while spreading positivity. You'll havento believe in something beyond yourself, something you can't see, but that's what faith is. :3