because i was at the psychiatry and must celebrate my B-day there and she dosn´t come (like the years before too...) and i was so sad and angry by the same time because i really feel f*cking alone there and i told here my feelings about that day but here answere was still " I don´t want contact to ill people" and then she blocked me everywere and we NEVER see again...

I don´t know if i still thing on my 2o B-day i start crying. I don´t wanna get older, i don´t wanna lose more friends... lose my life... with every B-day i see, wow you are here although you are depressed since you are I6, every day i fight agains the suic:dal thoughts... not for me but for my family. My Mum was crying so much arfter my first suic:de attempt... She comes in the hospital arfter this and she was crying. I saw here the first time crying.... it breaks my heard...

I brought her to cry, i feel very bad for this every day. I make so much wrong in my life and every B-day remamber me on all these things... But i don´t know why im telling it to you... sorry... maybe i just need someone too tell it...
Do you like your B-Day?

Du bist nicht allein. Ich kann Geburtstage auch nicht ausstehen, besonders das Gefuehl, dass alles viel zu schnell auf einen zukommt.
Trotzdem alles Gute - hoffentlich kannst du einen halbwegs schoenen Geburtstag verbringen..

mir geht es genauso, ich mag meinen b-day auch nicht sonderlich
mein vater wollte früher immer alles mit der kamera festhalten und ich musste mich künstlich über geschenke usw freuen - schrecklich
oder immer das nervige singen - nicht mein ding xD

aber auch wenn du deinen b-day nicht magst...
...herzlichen glückwunsch :D

its ok ill go to the manga store with u uwu