(continued from description) "I dug it up and it wasn't there because she hid it. She was holding it smiling. I basically cleaned her entire huge yard. So about 2 days ago my brother came with us. We played with her downstairs. Then she turned and hit us with a really heavy hard nosed dog stuffy. She jumped on my brother's back and scratched my face. We told her to stop but she continued. Through all this she was laughing like a maniac. I grabbed her and told her to stop. She threw a soccer ball at my face. I was done and threw a pillow at her. I helped my brother up and went upstairs. He had a bloody nose and I had scratches all over. We walked home by ourselves. Later our mom came home. At night she got a message about a small scatch on Vanessa's face that she said I did. I didn't do it. But she yelled at my mom. We went back and she yelled at us. We haven't been over since." (cont)

"My mom is sad because Vanessa's mom is a close friend. I want Vanessa to stop. She's been acting all immature for 3 years. She curses at me and my brother when we walk our dog. (We go down their block.) I can't stand her. I wish she would learn when to stop. I have a trillion black and blue scratches. My brother has been in bed and hasn't gone to school. I really want her to stop. I don't want to be friends. But my mom wants us to get along. I don't know what to do. Can you please help?"

INSTRUCTIONS: Comment below with advice for @chibilexi04.

It is possible that she may change in time as she gets older. Some people calm as they mature, either by natural hormone changes or by learning from experiences how to control themselves, but not everyone changes. If you want to try to help her change, understand that may put you in danger and your brother too, so the best approach may be getting your mom to talk to her mom. As her parent, her mom would be there influencing her the most often and be the best person to try to address the situation. Since you are not a parent, your influence may not be respected. This means telling your mom what has happened and how you feel. Sadly, parents often don't see their children as equals, so you will need to speak calmly, slowly and logically. For example, tell her that your first priority is to ensure the safety of your family, including yourself and your brother, so it would violate that duty to see her at this point. However, you feel that she needs help to change and the best person to do

this would be her mother, so you would like, when she has time, for your mom to speak to her mother and possibly, as another adult, offer to help Vanessa learn to control her outbursts. Emphasise that she is a danger not only to others but also to herself and needs help. It may be that parents won't ne enough and maybe therapy or a doctor can help. If your mom sees you are taking a logical, mature approach, she will be inclined to listen and maybe she can get the help she needs. But, if you are forced to go over there (sometimes parents are too tired and over-worked to listen), make sure that not only you try to stay safe, but never lose control of your anger because she could use that against you and make it seem like you're both violent and immature (remember, you both not being adults means that adults are biased to think you're all immature). You can also consider capturing moments on video if you are able and need evidence.

Then it seems your only option is to avoid her. If your mom believes you, then she may agree that it would be best to avoid contact for a while. If her mom thinks she's an angel, I suspect that she may not act out against her mom as much as against you. This means that she would get more "fun" out of having you over and would miss not seeing you. So, after a while, you can then give her a chance, but with a warning that, if it happens again, she won't get to see you again. This may make her try to be better behaved, but if she's not, you'll need to follow through and avoid her. Everyone deserves a second chance, but your own safety matters. As for her dad, he can't treat you differently at school because of circumstances outside school without violating the law. But I feel that after a while of avoiding her, the family will move on. They can't hold grudges forever. People's lives change all the time and new distractions come up.

Also, if your mom has a camera, she can at least take pictures of your injures. I remember when I was in 2nd grade and constantly abused at a baby sitter and nothing was done until I was left bloodied and fainting (and she had spent so much time trying to clean me up and beg me not to tell my mom). Sometimes you have no choice but to part ways with people when they put your safety in danger. Hopefully councilors or the vice principal can deal with any issues that arise at school, but if you do see the proncipal, be extra calm and patient with him so he has no excuse to bring up anything outside school (he's only human, remember).

Good luck!