i have an actual job now i guess. cleaning the canteen. but i dont have to talk or anything, free lunches and £160 a month.
i can barely look at friends anymore and i always feel like i have a lump in my throat- but its a start. its something i can do without thinking. i can try to fix whatever broke.

i know how i deal with things is wrong. oh god do i know. i cant justify it either.