Have ever thought about seeing new people? people on colors care about you who's to say someone other than us doesn't. You can end here but would it really be worth it? would you be satisfied with the things you did? are you sure there's nothing you desire? Life is a choice and its sure as h.ell is better than death. I don't care what kind of life people live. wether they do wrong or right its better than no choice at all. if you want just give me your number. I'll text you. its better than giving up to depression. its better than giving her way. please I don't want know I failed to save another. you don't know how it feels to hold your dead friend and know you did everything in the world for them and still see them fall to depression and her knife to your heart. in the end she wasn't staving my friend.... she was staving my heart.

This may sound a bit harsh or gritty i'm just warning you now nothing i say is to be taken as offense only thought about. These are some of my facts and oppinions on your current situation. First off your "friends" aren't your true friends. I suggest trying to get with different groups of people. You see people will act friendly but sometimes they act that way to be polite without ever having a true connection with you wether you beleive it or not, in other words they never create a heart string as I like to call it. If your friends ignore you when you're depressed or sad find other people to talk to even if its on the internet because we are as real as the people in your physical life and if we could we'd all be there with you. A true friend would actually obsess over trying to make you feel beter if my experience is correct. Second, your boyfriend. Ok first of all [and i'm speaking from pure biological and age based maturity/ mental health facts here]
-cont

You shouldn't even have a boyfriend at your age level, i'm not being agist or anything what i'm saying is at the highschool level if you feel as if you need a sexual relationship or relationship in general at all its a sighn that you lack the proper stimulation or attention a normal [by standards person] would recieve. Also it's almost never worth it or never lasts and the male in question hasn't even reached full mental maturity yet and does not fully understand the situation untill early to late twenties. My advice, just be friends. Its alot less stressful for both ends trust me. Its obvious from what you explain he does not like you back. To deal with depression I don't recomend medication. What I recomend is to talk to people who you know will listen [even on the internet] be in places with alot of natural light and try to be outdoors sometimes even like early morning walks. Don't look for stimulation in people but in tasks. Do things you enjoy to put it shortly. Like art. -cont

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Do things you enjoy and try to relax a bit. You don't have to be needed to be happy.
Also NEVER think about your death. The thought just makes everything worse and is not realistic in the slightest nor will it ever solve any problem. Think of it as the humiliation of the afterlife. I know this has been a long explanation but I wanted to be specific to a science when explaining some things to you. I know I didn't hit all points but just take what i've told you and think about it. As I said these are just some facts and oppinions based on my experiences. They do not need to be taken seriously if not wished.
I'm sorry in advance if what I've said has been unhelpful and glad in advance if it was.
Best of luck to you.

As others have said these people around you just seem to be hurting you. i know it sounds impossible but I just say try talking to new people. Don't be afraid of rejection, confidence is key here. And even if highschool isn't great, there is always college where you can have a completely fresh start with new people who have no real way to judge you. I mean you have the grades to get into any school you want so I say just wait it out. You're almost there Takal. I really hope it goes alright for you

Text me if you need to talk. If I talk here people may get upset.

Well, there aren't many people to chose from. They're either jerks, do drugs, or 'too good for me'. I've thought about moving schools but I don't want this to effect my education. It's already destroyed all I am and my 'friends' don't want to deal with me unless I'm happy but they ignore me when I'm happy because they think "My job's done here! I don't have to as.sociate with her anymore." and I relapse into depression. It's a big sh.it cycle. People have gotten really angry at me and I know it's a mental illness and I can't help it but they've told me things like "I can't handle your negativity." -Danny (even though he said he wanted me to tell him everything. I started to actually be afraid of him...)
Also, I got angry at Rachel for something and of course, Daniel took her side. He's always defending the other person and I feel invalid and nomatter what it is, he'll always be against me. I hate him. I hate all of them. I can't take back my feelings though. I do love him. Hes an idiot

There is a Youtuber who has depression and to help himself and others with depression he made a series called "Your Still Here"
I dunno what else to say to help you besides try watching that and remember, it isn't your fault.

I know I dont know you but I just want to say that I know how you feel.My school days were basicly the same, minus the boyfriend part. Im alone nearly all day, and when Im not Im just quiet..my 'friends' talk and dont even try to include me.
I am on four meds, two of which are for my depression. But trust me, It feels like they dont work. Ive been seeing a therapist for a few years and it hasn't done much for me. But it has prevented it from getting to where i actually k!ll myself. I am sure that if you d!ed, people would care and notice. Even if it isn't many, or if theyre just DS friends. My only real friends are on my DS too, minus one who I never get to see. And even though it doesn't seem like it, I'm sure your parents care too. I cant promise you it will get better soon, because ive been dealing w/ major depression for 2 or more years. But Push through, support yourself. It doesnt seem like itll get better. But Don't be afraid to ask for help. You can do it.

I have learned over my few years of life that one does not truly "need" friends. It inly makes it worse if your 'friends' are dragging you down. I suggest finding new friends. Even if it is hard an a lot of people seem like bad choices, the search is well worth it when you find one in the end. I know what you are going through (I only have one friend in school because everyone else betrayed me or were just liars). Me and this one friend even parted for an entire year because of an argument and I had no true friends (I just ended up in this group that basically ignored me, lol). But after that, we repaired our bond and are happy kitties. I guess what I am trying to say is, don't be with people who constantly drag you down. You must learn to let go and find a better path. It will make you much happier in life overall, I suppose.

^ *sigh, don't read that if you don't want to.

Just a tip about antidepressants, they work gradually. They usually become noticable 2-3 weeks of consistantly taking them. Also, Antidepressants are made to help you function w/depression. They don't remove it, unless its 100 percent chemical. Basically, they are a tool for you to use so you can try to become happier. Hope you feel better soon!

oh Tak.... umu so sad...-hug- I wish I went to your school, I would never let people just ignore you. I think that guy that made you happy should be the guy for you, not someone who doesnt wsnt to talk to you and ignore you. I don't understand why no one wants to help where you live, it makes me so mad and sad. umu Since it'll be a new year, I saw some people here say start talking to new people, or go to new groups, and I totally agree. Takal I really hope this year is better for you. Your so nice c:> -hug-

I know this is probably late, but it doesn't sound at all like your fault. I probably don't understand too well what you're going through, as I've never had depression. Have you ever talked to the counseler? It's literally their job to help kids who are having a tough time and I know it's hard to talk about, but if you don't stand up for yourself, nothing's going to go your way. It's hard, I bet, and if it makes any difference, I believe that you are a great person who doesn't deserve this. No one deserves this, which is why instead of waiting for someone to save you, you've got to try to save yourself and seek help, over and over again until it works. Again, I've never been through quite what you have, but I do care for you a lot as a good friend and I hope you make it through this.

I feel pretty late on all of this since I was gone 5 days but I hope you'll hear my thoughts or suggestions (Not a very inspirational person though -_-)
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I think it's not your fault Tak. Those so called friends you hang out with don't know how cool you are and are taking you for granted. I suggest joining some groups or a sport you feel comfortable in. For instance, being the wallflower I am, I joined cross country and I don't regret it for a moment. Sure in the beginning I was shy, awkward, and everyone probably was thinking, "Who the he** is that ugly girl who just joined our team, I've never seen her at the public school". After awhile those kids who might've hated me were my closest friends and I was introduced to their friends who introduced me to theirs. I went to a private school with about 184 kids so the jump to a large high school was very difficult. People call me a try hard or a bad runner or anything to get me down but I just turn it on them and agree. Since they weren't expecting that, they leave me alone and now I have plenty of friends. I know what you're going through because when I was in private school I just wasn't smart enough or pretty enough for my class to become friends with me. Frequently, I was left behind and laughed at by the "populars". I felt like my life didn't matter and suicide might be an option. Luckily I found someone to confide in and she helped me feel normal and like a weight had been lifted. Anyways let's get back on track here. You are an amazing person but you just need to find that right group of friends to hang out with. Personally, I think you should break up with Danny because he sounds like a total jerk with a capital J. So, to wrap things up, I really think you need to get out there and get new people to hang out with because I'm sure that school of yours isn't just full of bad people.

(Sorry if I shared too much :( )

Oh my gosh, my comment... Don't read if you don't want to. I'm serious. XD