That's not the reason for this post by blargonsplargh

The real reason is this: I am so super tired of being alive. For those of you who know me, you know I am 27 years old. My most recent depression episode has pretty much caused me to lose my job. My car is super old and the starter is dying, so I literally have to go under the hood and bang on the starter to get it going. My tags are out of date, too, so I'm not legally supposed to be driving it. It'll cost me at least four hundred dollars just to get it past inspection and the tags renewed....

Comments
5
share
like
used tools icons

painting stats

painted on a Nintendo 3DS
06 Jul, 2015, 8:18 pm
00:08

Comments

blargonsplargh

06 Jul, 2015, 8:25 pm

I am also have thousands of dollars in medical debt. I currently have no health insurance. Desk jobs make my depression 10 million times worse. I broke my left leg when I was sixteen really badly and messed up my ankle too; it bothers me all the time. I nearly lost my right heel in a dirtbike accident when I was seventeen and messed that ankle up even worse. Not to mention I broke my right big toe as a child as well. It's getting harder and harder to walk. I'm in pain all the time. I have sinus problems and terrible headaches nearly every day. I am vitamin d and potassium deficient, so I have no energy all the time. I should buy supplements, but I can't even afford food, haha. Last night, I was seriously contemplating stabbing myself in the arm b/c nobody takes me seriously. I have never harmed myself, though...

blargonsplargh

06 Jul, 2015, 8:32 pm

I'm just super sick of struggling and struggling just to make it through the day. I don't know where to begin looking for a job that won't make me feel like junk. I feel worthless and useless. I'm not going to cry about it anymore, because I'm sick of that too. I'm apparently a horrible friend, too, because I'm not important enough to anyone for them to call or come over or anything like that. I'm scared of getting really close to any one else because I can't bear to have another best friend just leave like all the others. I feel like any of my artistic works are just failures and that I should just give up art altogether. I really, really do want someone's help though. But I have no one to ask. So let me sleep all day. I never want to wake up again. :)

Faunarock

06 Jul, 2015, 8:37 pm

Dang... grown up life sounds depressing. ._. I'm so sorry for your misfortune, people really can be degenerate and mean... Buck them, at least you know how they truly are, mediocre. You don't need that kind of people in your life. Be strong man, I hope everything evens out soon. C:, I'ma follow you since I think it might make you feel better. :3

blargonsplargh

06 Jul, 2015, 9:00 pm

:)

blargonflargon

07 Jul, 2015, 3:19 am

TTATT the three of you are officially my rocks. ily guys so much TTATT

Thankfully, my parents do the best they can to help out... But honestly I feel like such a burden to everybody because I can't support myself. My little sister and my brother, his wife and their baby live with my parents right now, so I can't move back home. I just feel seriously trapped by everything. Where do I go? What do I do? And I look healthy, so people really don't take me seriously. Ugh, it really sucks. And in my State, I literally have to become completely destitute before any organiztions will help out. That's fine and all, I really just need help finding a job that won't kill me. Or make me kill myself.

Please login to leave comments

delete comment?

just delete
delete comment and prevent this user from commenting on your paintings
report as inappropriate

English

Japanese