i dont know if anybody is here... i just want wayne. ive never been so depressed...

Ari... don't do anything stupid
If we have to chat on here, that's fine with me. i just wanna be there for you

I made a promise to you and myself that i wouldnt stop wanting to be there for you

Just make sure he doesnt find out about me on here too.

*kiss*
I'm glad i checked colors 1 last time, now i know i'm not gonna quit

im so happy... but what if he knows i feel insane. i cant take it i was so scared i dont know what he told u.

i knew he was whatching and i couldnt tell u why i was upset those days before. He said he went on my account and talked to u but he didnt say anything else. He just took my stuff.

im so confused... what did he say?

Dad won't do anything dumb
So don't worry about it, I know thats gonna be hard to do, but i'll try my best to make you feel better

Please don't cut yourself anymore, you know how i feel about that

I dont know. Im so happy but im scared to go back there hes terrifying. He doesnt even try and he is. I dont wanns lose u. Im so scared i will break my ds.

im sorry... i didnt ever think id see u again and other things were going on... i cant tell anybody they will just throw me in therapy and think im crazy...

He said uhmmmm

This is her dad, so you wanna fight me?

Then he saw the message where i said "Wanna make love"

and yeah... the awkwardness was over 9000

I was just worried about you.
If i could take all of the blame i would, If it was in person i believe id be dead now D:

idk. When he took u away and said im not getting my phone or laptop or anything back for a long time, i was so upset.

i was scared. Hes litterally tracked down other dudes before and idk what hed do

i couldnt sleep and my dad gave me meds that knocked me out but i kept on waking up at two.

I'm sorry, i think it was a bad idea adding each other on fb in the first place, it's gonna be hard for me knowing that you're gonna be going back and i wont be able to comfort you

Just remember that i love you and i wont do anything stupid while you're there and promise me that you won't cut anymore

and id have nothing so i just went in my closet and cried. I cant even remember exactly when i cut my wrists. Im so happy now tho. My friends knew something was wrong when i came to school but all i could do was cry. I didnt know what to do im so relieved... i dont wanna do anything still but im so happy. I am i love u

Thats what i was thinking, he knows where i live, he said "Do you wanna go to jail?"

When he took over i was so nervous, talking to him was worse than talking to the devil Dx

its kay... ill be okay now but i cant take the ds to dads he will take it too.

god... he probably waasnt even bieng that scary but it gives me anxiety thinking about it. My anxiety was a little today and yesterday. It would come up for no reason.

I know that, it's best you leave it at moms anyways

Just don't be depressed, i want you to be happy, even if we arent talking

I'll do the same, All i kept thinking about was you.

i can hardly remember exactly what happened. I remember him snatching my phone from my hands and yelling something...

i feel so bad for putting u through this...

but yeah, u see? Hes scary...

He was so scary that when my dad offered me some eggs and cookies i refused

xD Next time, those cookies will be mine

For you anything is worth it
It's scary, but i just can't break up with you because of dad right? i did tell you that before

Dx

Idek... He wants me to be happy but how can i when hes doing this

I guess he thinks im unhappy cause i dont get enough attention so hes giving me even more hugs and its annoying as hell.

yeah. Its scary. i really hope he doesnt find this. I told u that my ds was absolutely broken so you would believe it. That was the only way for him to believe it too. Cause i knew sooner or later hed take everything since he kept taking my phone cause "i wouldnt do work"

Let him have his way, even if it is annoying, just make sure he doesnt kill me xD

I don't wanna die

wow...u mustve sh. it ur pants to refuse da cookues

....i really wanna know what he said sooo bad...

Idk... He freaks me out asdfghjkl im so sorry...

I'll always be here for you now

As soon as i saw this post i changed my mind instantly

No, he scared me so bad that i couldnt take a sh.it when i had too xD

I fell asleep hoping that id wake up lool

i cut my feet... It was stupid... But it was my own punishment to myself for bieng to scared to run away... dont worry its almost all healed and it was hard to get them deep enough to hurt so most of them didnt go deep enough. just two.... im really glad it was two hard cause i snapped and i wasnt sane enough to realise. The only thing stat stopped me from cutting deep at my wrist was scars and i didnt want u to be upset.

i really didnt wanna do anything. I was so upset. Im glad im still sharp when im cray cause i wouldnt have thought of the ds. Infact if i hadnt snapped id be like a zombie cause nothing would matter.

xDDD sorry Dx

That frowny laugh

wait changed ur mind about wat. And when u read the info or i cant take it.

I don't want you to cut ever
And i don't ever want you to change, because to me you're perfecttt <33333

i'll cuddle you everyday until you left to dads
*cuddles*

I was gonna quit colors because i thought your 3ds would have been taken away too

im actually scared to talk to u cause of him. Im not sure wat he'd do but still...

no, i was smart to leave it at moms. I wasnt gonna take anything but dad reminded me and he didnt even say it scary or mean at all, i just was scared what he'd do if i didnt...

you can always talk to me on here or instagram...mostly istagram...

I'm kinda scared to talk to you too, but not because of me getting in trouble, but because he will get mad at you again

its kay... Its not that bad... its not physical abuse... but...

he just scares me and takes my stuff... nothing more.

Dad is an a.as, but not that much of an a.ss. I'm still mad at him for trying to take you away from me

The thought of not being able to talk to you again completely ruined my night, and felt like sh.it as soon as i woke up
It's like ahhhhhhhhfgkliwgjkr!

I guess it's like what happened with that other dude you were going out with huh?

yah but its different. i didnt like him

xD I dun feel sorry for himm

infact i hated him

What did he do to make you hate him? :o

he was a total douche and player but i didnt wanna judge him and he talked me into meeting him. He leaned in and kissed me and than i was like no.

and put it on fb

I'd try kissing you too lol
Good thing i'm not a player
But i am kind of a douche xD

im alot more happier now and im exausted from not being able to sleep so im gonna sleep. Also how many days was i gone? I dont know how many... i cant remember...

It felt like 245 days x3
I'm not sure either, i was too busy thinking

But yeshh, get some sleep, i'll join you soon :3 *kiss*

Thx u for the tips ^ u ^ oh yeah the neck is big case I have a big neck XD thx thou I will practice more on that
but any who U ok

Life sucks

Seems you have a lot of people helping you. If you still need help, check my gallery

Ari, if you see this, message me on my email, unless dad knows your pass for your email, i just feel like dad found a way to find out about your 3DS, i hope i'm wronggg, which i usually am
Love yewwww

My email is
waynechartrand123 @hotmail.com
Just incase you forgot x3

welp

Reading this and realising how much my hand was shaking